


strawberry sunsets

by blueblushed



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Beomgyu is just trying to figure out life, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Yeonjun sweetie do you need a hug, kai best boy, not really he’s also trying to ruin Yeonjun’s life, they annoy each other way too much, when life gives you problems you go to Soobin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:14:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 70,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29880981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueblushed/pseuds/blueblushed
Summary: Two months. Sixty days. Beomgyu had 60 days to make Yeonjun attached to him, in which after 60 days he had planned to leave the guy mercilessly as revenge after their agreement had come to an end.All of this just because he had insisted that the pink haired man was the cause of his precious strawberry milk spilt on the ground.It was extremely difficult when Yeonjun kept stirring up strange feelings inside of him, though.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Yeonjun, Choi Beomgyu/Huening Kai, Huening Kai/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 15
Kudos: 53





	1. spilt milk.

Beomgyu has never liked the rain.

Instead of seeing the rain as a friend, or as company as some may do, Choi Beomgyu sees it as a dreadful reminder that even the sky is not on his side today. 

Or any other day now that he recalls. The rain has never really been on his side for the past 19 years of Beomgyu’s life. Although most of his childhood seems to be a blur, he would still like to think of the rain as a childhood enemy; one that has always ruined all his supposed to be fun moments. 

So when it starts raining even heavier outside now than 3 minutes ago, you can just imagine how the now pouting guy must be feeling,

except he’s not as bummed as you think he is. 

Despite the rain, the brown-haired will not let anything ruin his little moment of satisfaction as he finishes attaching his assignment files and is ready to hit send. Maybe leaving his work until the last minute was not the best idea, judging by his slouching posture and the now very obvious dark circles under his eyes.

But that’s a problem for another day, he thinks this to himself as he is ready to treat himself for completing his mission of the day in time, managing to turn in his assignments right before the due date. _Good job, Choi Beomgyu._ He gets up and grabs his apartment keys, just enough money for a snack, and his trusty umbrella that has never failed to protect him from the evil rain. 

“Ah,” he silently whispers to himself under his breath as he steps outside and is met with a face full of wind too cold for its own good. This reminds him that it’s 11 p.m. and the nights are always colder than the days. 

But Beomgyu does not hate the cold like he hates the rain. He believes that the cold makes the rain more bearable, just wishing he had grabbed a thicker, warmer coat to throw on top before making sure to lock his apartment door and stepping into the elevator. 

Beomgyu is relatively new to this area of Seoul, only having moved here 2 weeks ago in order to start a new chapter of his life away from his familiar home of Daegu. 

Only now is he regretting not exploring the area of his apartment building prior to this, as the elevator door opens and he steps out, making him realize he isn’t familiar with this place at all. He knows for sure that there is a park with a fancy fountain in the middle across the streets opposite his building and a little convenience store, but anything other than that seems to be a mystery. 

Said convenience store is only a convenient 3 minute walk away, so that’s his best option for a snack.

He holds his umbrella closely, making sure not to get wet from the heavy splatters of rain as he drags his feet along the sidewalk. His legs take him down the familiar path to the place he’s been to the most often in this area; a little, almost always empty store, decorated with a few lights just enough to make it look welcoming. 

You would think that no place in Seoul would be this empty, especially a shop that is open for 24 hours a day, but Beomgyu can live with knowing that life has it’s unpredictable uncertainties. 

Just like how one moment the brown haired boy is happily skipping his way outside the store he just entered, umbrella in one hand and his favorite strawberry milk in the other. Perhaps he was so distracted by the sudden feeling of joy taking over him as he took his first sip of his well deserved treat, not even caring about getting wet by the rain anymore. Because before he knew it, his precious strawberry milk he had just bought a second ago was now spilt all over the already rain-soaked floor, 

and onto the now very displeased looking male standing right in front of him. 

Instead of apologizing right away like any normal person in this situation would, Beomgyu was just standing. He wasn’t even moving an inch as he scans the unamused looking man in front of him. 

Tall, white slim-fitting turtleneck, topped with silver accessories, slightly ripped skinny jeans, big shiny chunky boots. “He looks cool,” Beomgyu thinks to himself as he continues scanning the man's odd choice of attire for a trip to the convenience store at 11 p.m. until he brings his gaze upwards, now looking at the now annoyed looking stranger in the eye for the first time. 

He lets his eyes stay there for a bit, enough to make a mental note of what he looks like. Piercing, chocolate brown eyes, plump pouty lips, he adds. He then moves his gaze further up, just now noticing the very adorable shade of pink that this man’s hair is dyed, contrasting against the intimidating looking outfit he has presented himself in. His hair is almost the exact same shade as his now spilt strawberry milk.

_Oh shit, the strawberry milk._

Beomgyu’s eyes widen and finally opens his mouth, ready to spew out a bunch of ‘sorry’s and poor excuses.

But before he gets to do so, the pink haired man standing before him is already interrupting, cocking his head to the side as he speaks,

“So do you stare at every stranger you accidentally bump into like this or am I an exception?” He says, eyes still glaring slightly at the other, making him take half a step backwards. 

Still stunned by the sudden interruption, Beomgyu just stands there with a dumbfounded expression, words not forming out right as he has apparently lost his ability to form complete sentences. 

“Sorry...?” That came out sounding more like a question than he would have hoped for. He mentally curses at himself as he brings his hand up to wipe away the rain droplets sticking to his forehead, (or is it sweat? He can’t really differentiate them at this point.) and then Beomgyu clears his throat and panicky adds, 

“I’ll buy you another one! Strawberry milk, that is… oh shit that was mine, I’ll buy you a new shirt! Not that this one looks bad or anything, I actually think it looks great on you, well looked. Let me buy you another more comfortable one maybe? That turtleneck can’t possibly be comfy… but fashion over comfort, right? Even at 11 p.m. for a trip to the convenience store.” 

Fuck. He did not mean to say all that. _What the hell Choi Beomgyu?_ He might have accidentally let out all his thoughts in the form of a ramble rather than what was supposed to be an apology. 

He even judged his choice of clothes out loud! Out loud… he frustratedly curses to himself. His desperate need to get out of the painfully awkward situation has landed him in an even worse situation. A now not-so-financially-stable freshman in college buying a stranger he had just met a new shirt was not one of his plans for the day, or any other day. 

The look on the pink haired guy’s face was enough to say that Beomgyu had crossed a confusing line, stunning the man for a bit. At first, he looked a bit amused by the situation, eyes glinting very slightly for a very brief moment until he was back with his displeased face again as he looked down at his now ruined top. He knits his eyebrows together and sends a glare at the slightly shorter male, making Beomgyu shrink under his gaze, suddenly feeling shameful. 

Deciding he does not want anything further to do with the smaller, he just bends down and picks up the carton of spilt milk on the floor and hands it over to the other, gently forcing it into Beomgyu’s hand. The latter is now looking at him with a confused expression, not quite sure about what this gesture means. The pink-haired lets out a deep sigh as he turns his heel away and starts heading to the opposite direction. 

_He’s just leaving? After I embarrassed myself like that?_

Well maybe it was better that he left. Another moment more of unspoken words between the two and it would’ve eaten him up for days. 

About to forget about the whole situation and move on with his life, he throws away the now empty box in his hand into the bin. It was just strawberry milk and a strawberry haired stranger anyway, he had nothing to hold onto. 

Apparently the rain has thankfully stopped now and he can finally put away his umbrella too. Two free hands, a win for him.

As Beomgyu was about to leave and head back to his apartment, he noticed a thin piece of pink silk fabric on the wet floor in front of him. Weirdly, looking at it made his mind jog a little, feeling something in the pit of his stomach.

It felt strange, but he was going to brush off the feeling. 

“It must be Mr. Strawberry’s,” he slightly giggled to himself when he realized that he had already given the man a nickname in his head. He picks up the soaking pink fabric and puts it in his pocket, making a mental note to return it to him later if he sees the stranger again, which is very unlikely. 

But oh well, life is uncertain and full of surprises when you least expect them. 

Beomgyu is a little guilty, feels a little bad, but he finds himself smiling on his way back home. Not sure if it’s because the rain had finally stopped or because he can’t stop thinking about a certain cute pink head of hair, though. 

Maybe he’ll successfully treat himself to strawberry milk another day.

  


* * *

  


Beomgyu is _very_ guilty.

If it’s not already evident in his restless mannerisms: his brown eyes going wide every now and then, then it’s very obvious from the even darker circles under his eyes compared to last night due to his lack of sleep. 

More like his inability to sleep. His mind was too occupied with the thoughts and images of a certain interaction that ended with his precious strawberry milk all splattered on the floor and a bunch of unsaid apologies dancing on the tip of Beomgyu’s tongue. 

Speaking of which he really should apologize.

Beomgyu means it when he says he feels guilty. One thing he told himself not to do before moving to start a new life here in Seoul was ‘don’t make enemies’ and he was going to stick by that. It might just be Beomgyu’s dramatic self thinking about the worst case scenario of the tall stranger coming back to seek his revenge one day due to pent up anger and resentment because he just had to forget to apologize properly, but he still wanted to avoid the possibilities.

It is definitely just because of Beomgyu’s dramatic self, and totally not because maybe he wants to see a guy with a memorable shade of pink hair and a sharp pair of feline-looking eyes again. That is definitely not the case. 

Anyways, he is determined to find the stranger. 

He can’t be that hard to find. The convenience store that he made a trip to last night was rather close to his apartment building, meaning the other must live near here somewhere because no sane person would make a long dedicated trip to just go to a convenience store that looks almost too deserted. 

However he really has no idea how to get started on his search. He’s not even sure if that interaction he had was real or just a fragment of his imagination his mind made up due to the lack of human contact. Maybe some interactions are meant to be a one time thing, not supposed to cross paths ever again. 

Although sleep deprived and physically tired, he presses his lips into a thin line as he tries to come up with a way to locate the man. 

A growling, almost angry sound coming from his stomach cuts him off of his train of thoughts, reminding him that he has not had breakfast yet. Great, he sarcastically says to himself as he waddles his way to the fridge. He opens it up, only to see a very sad image of nothing but a bunch of condiments, coke and tangerines. It was an odd combination, but this is Beomgyu, and he too knows that he does not make the best choices when it comes to grocery shopping. 

So he settles on texting one of the few people he can expect a reply back from at this time of day and maybe rely on a bit from college, Kang Taehyun; a dance major who he has crossed paths with and talked to quite a few times to be on good terms with. He does plan on getting closer to the guy though, that’s why he chooses him as his target for today. What’s a better way to get closer to someone than by involving them in the drama of your life?

Eyes now glinting with mischief, Beomgyu sends ‘hey, you free today?’ and much to his delight the other replies almost instantly with a simple ‘yeah why’.

Excellent. Taehyun was always so reliable.

Smirking down at his phone, he makes his way to his way too big for one couch and lies down. He spreads his limbs, trying to take up as much space as possible. Perhaps the couch is meant for one Beomgyu. While lying down, he munches on one of the tangerines he grabbed from the fridge and replies with a few details and sends the location of where he wants to meet up with his little blonde friend. 

After a while of scrolling mindlessly through his phone, Beomgyu is reminded by his stomach that he is still very hungry and decides that it is finally time for him to get ready. He grabs a loose white button-up and a pair of his favorite comfy jeans. He does his hair a bit, brushing his hair just a bit so it falls nicely on his forehead. 

He does one last check in the mirror before deciding that he’s satisfied with how he looks, so he grabs his keys and other necessities and leaves the building of his apartment.

Seoul is a rather busy city, as expected, because for most of his years living the people around him have been telling him that. Everyone seems to be very focused on their own life and minds their own business most of the time, so it’s really no surprise that his now 2 weeks since moving here has not consisted of many interactions with new people at all. 

Well, aside from that incident last night and his acquaintances from college; maybe even friends soon if he opens up to them a bit more. 

So that is why he has decided to meet up with Taehyun for brunch.

Taehyun is someone who he could see himself being good friends with. Despite being a year younger in age but in the same freshman year as Beomgyu, he is getting through college really well so far. 

Their first interaction was rather awkward, actually all his first interactions with people are awkward now that he thinks of it, but he later found out that Taehyun is not as intimidating and cold as he looks. The blonde has his cute quirks, but if you point them out or tease him about he will be sure to send a deadly glare that is supposed to send shivers down your spine. 

Nonetheless, it seems to be that he is a little softer with Beomgyu, allowing the older to annoy him a bit more than he would normally let other people get away with. 

The blonde is also apparently very smart, not quite buying Beomgyu’s excuse of just being ‘bored and hungry’ on an early Saturday, so he is determined to catch on to whatever mischief the older between the two has planned on doing. 

Beomgyu has invited Taehyun out to a little ice cream parlor that he noticed on his way home from his embarrassing incident last night. It wasn’t that close, but it wasn’t that far either. It grabbed his attention so he told himself he was going to go there sometime. At least he made something out of the unfortunate event last night.

The place is painted a light shade of baby blue, decorated with warm lights and other pastel and white colored furniture. It’s a nice spot. It looks and feels so much more alive here, a contrast from yesterday’s convenience store. He can see people walking in and out of the other shops along the opposite side of the street; talking or doing whatever people here in Seoul do on a Saturday.

Odd choice of brunch, he notes.

The smell of sweet, sweet ice cream alone is enough to make Beomgyu smile like a kid. He is already dragging his friend by the wrist to a table for two in the corner of the ice cream parlor, paying no mind to the suspicious look the blonde male is giving him.

—

They sit down and finish ordering something from the menu offering various flavors of ice cream, in which Beomgyu opts for strawberry, while the Taehyun goes for cookies ‘n cream. Beomgyu smiles pleasingly as he takes in the sweet scent of the place, looking around and taking in his environment. 

He notices that all the employees here have pastel or bright colored hair, probably to fit the ice cream parlors theme as everything around him too just looks so aesthetically pleasing to the eyes.

Beomgyu likes it here a lot. 

That is until he is interrupted by the sound of the younger clearing his throat, reminding him that he’s not the only one here and he did indeed invite Taehyun here for a reason. 

Beomgyu turns his head, now focusing on the blonde before him, giving him his full attention. He puts his elbows on the table and rests his chin right above his palms, waiting for the other to say something or pop a question. 

The ice creams arrive and just as Beomgyu is taking his first bite, doing a little satisfactory dance with his arms and shoulders, Taehyun blurts out, 

“So what’s the plan?” 

Beomgyu’s eyes widen dramatically and he chokes on the ice cream he just scooped into his mouth, causing a scene and drawing attention to their table. Out of everything he was not expecting that. Where’s the regular old friendly ‘good morning’ ‘It’s good to see you’ and ‘how are you’? 

But this is why he likes Taehyun, though. Straight to the point, simple type of guy. 

The rest of the conversation consists of him telling Taehyun his not-so-genius plan of visiting every single store and building around the area, insisting that they must do this together for ‘maximum coverage’ and in order to find the man as quickly as possible, which leaves the blonde even more confused as ever. 

“So let me get this straight, you’re doing all this just to apologize to a stranger you accidentally met last night? How does that make sense?”

“I ruined his sexy shirt!”

“And he didn’t even step away when he must’ve clearly seen you walking— Wait, what?”

Taehyun blinks dumbfoundedly at Beomgyu for a bit, mentally asking himself how he could even be of use to his friend’s rather helpless situation. It’s only when he sees the very determined face on Beomgyu, pleading with puppy eyes that he decides to continue, 

“I’m not helping with this, it’ll take way too much time. Look, realistically speaking I don’t think it’s possible—“

“Realistically speaking I don’t think you’ll be able to get a text back from Kai without my help either,”

It’s always fun to see Taehyun’s expression change at the mention of Beomgyu’s best friend’s name. His face turns a shade redder, making Beomgyu smile triumphantly as it seems like the younger is about to give in at any given time now. 

“Fine, but you are helping me with this one after this whole ‘finding Mr. Strawberry’ thing is over.”

“Deal!”

—

After their agreement to help one another, the two get up and Beomgyu, being the ‘cool hyung friend’, offers to pay for their ice cream and he tells Taehyun to go wait outside. He grabs his credit card, about to hand it to the cashier. 

When he looks up to face the person taking his card, he sees a shade of pink and a pair of sharp chocolate eyes that he might have recognized. He dramatically slaps his hand over his mouth to stop himself from gasping out loud and drawing attention to him for the second time today. His eyes widen and starts to scan the face for a bit longer to make sure that it’s really the same man he met last night.

Of course it is. He would recognize that face almost instantly even if he was in a crowd of hundreds of people. He looks almost familiar in a way. 

“You’ve really got to stop doing that,” the cashier speaks up in a rather serious tone. 

“Doing what?”

“Staring at me like you've either seen a ghost or like you’re in love with me!”

Oh shit, right. He’s staring again. 

“Not my fault you look stupidly attractive for a cashier! And you bumped into me last night!” He replies almost too fast, mentally face-palming himself for letting the first part slip out. He hopes the guy won’t pay any mind to it.

“That’s my line! You bumped into me! And even if I were the one who bumped into you, I would at least have the decency to apologize. You ruined and insulted my beautiful turtleneck!”

Beomgyu feels the slightest bit of shame and guilt as he realizes he has messed up again. _So much for apologizing._

He can either put away his pride and apologize right now like he is supposed to do, or continue to argue further and possibly embarrass himself while doing so. 

He chose the second option in a heartbeat. 

“Well, you were just standing there, therefore you made me bump into you. You are going to buy me another box of strawberry milk to make up for making me spill it.” He says, putting on his best matter-of-fact face. 

“Hey! How is this my fault? You even said you were going to buy me a new shirt—“

“AHHH” Beomgyu yells, breaking his act. He covers his ears as the sudden reminder of last night embarrasses him again. He couldn’t show his defeat in the form of reddened ears, that would shatter the last ounce of his remaining pride.

Yelling was maybe a good idea though, because the pink-haired seems to be taken back quite a bit. The male is now silent and staring at him with a very confused and surprised expression, eyebrows raised and mouth opened forming an ‘O’. 

“Sorry,” Beomgyu faked out a cough. “That was a bit, um, weird and out of place.” He decides that maybe it would be best to just apologize since he’s already dug his grave anyway. 

“Very weird, actually.”

“So apology accepted?” He blurted out, sounding much more desperate than he would have liked,

The cashier looked much more amused than he would have liked, too. 

He does a thinking face, index finger and thumb out to touch his chin, looking to the side acting like he’s actually considering it, only to let out in the end,

“Hell no. You are coming back to give me a better apology next time, and a new shirt.” The male exclaimed in a playful tone, an annoying smirk plastered on his face, a contrast to his deadly serious expression last night. 

Beomgyu does not like that. He doesn’t like losing, and even though this is not a competition nor a game, there is no way he is losing to the annoying cotton candy haired man. 

He grabs his credit card that is now placed on the counter before turning around, ready to make his leave. He doesn’t forget to get a good peak of the name tag on his shirt, and then he shouts back while exiting, 

“In your dreams, Choi Yeonjun!” 

He laughs in between breaths as he runs. 

“I think I might have found Mr. Strawberry.”

“What?” 

“I think I might have also made an enemy.”

“Beomgyu? Are you okay?”

“God, his smirk is so annoyingly attractive.”

“Beomgyu what the fuck happened…” 

“Yeah change of plans, I am not apologizing. I’m going to get him back in whatever way I can whether he likes it or not.” 

Taehyun can only nod, as he is still trying to process what could have happened in the last three minutes that he had left. 

“Oh yeah I’ll set you up with Hyuka by the way, thank you for today!” Beomgyu says with a big smile and waves with both his hands, ending their conversation as he speeds off to the direction of the bus stop, ready to head back to his apartment. 

Taehyun is still left standing there dumbfounded, wondering just what had happened back in that place. 

Maybe Beomgyu does not like that ice cream parlor so much after all.

  


* * *

  


Yeonjun finds him cute. 

Despite him never going to admit it out loud, not that he has any intention to any time soon, he is not going to deny that he might have been thinking about a certain shorter male since their accidental interaction that one cold rainy night more than once. 

He is a realist, so he knew and expected that it would be very unlikely that he would get to see the pair of sparkly round eyes looking up at him again. It’s common for two strangers to never cross paths for a second time.

So when Soobin greets the new customers coming in and takes their order, only for him to see the very person he was just thinking about, of course Yeonjun is surprised. Yeonjun couldn’t tear his eyes off of him. 

Unable to really focus on his job or think properly, he just lets his gaze follow the little fellow around. 

From what he remembers, the guy isn’t actually short, top of his head reaching about the middle of his forehead. But looking at him like this, somehow he just looks so small; like he could put him in his pocket if he tried if we’re over exaggeratedly speaking. 

He finds himself snickering silently as he watches the guy take a spoonful of his ice cream, only for him to choke on it almost immediately, causing a scene and spilling some of the ice cream on his white top. 

He is loud. That’s what Yeonjun learns from observing their table. All the other customers were turning their heads around just to see what on earth was going on where the pair were seated. 

He is also loud in the sense that Yeonjun can actually hear everything the tiny man is explaining to what looks like his blonde friend. He’s moving his hands around in motions and using gestures as if it helps his friend understand more of the situation and Yeonjun just finds it so entertaining to watch. 

He holds back a laugh, eyes now the shape of crescents, until he decides that he should stop eavesdropping on their little conversation and continues with his job. 

However he was not going to ignore the fact that the stranger very rudely judged his choice of clothes yesterday. No one judges Choi Yeonjun’s self proclaimed godly sense of fashion, especially not a guy who was wearing a big oversized shirt with a sauce stain on it and checkered pants. _It’s always the tasteless ones that have the most to say._

If he was going to hold a grudge then it would be because of that, and not for his turtleneck accidentally getting ruined by the milk. Yeonjun might be annoying, but he is not a jerk who easily gets angered over mishappenings. Accident happens, he knows that all too well.

But Yeonjun was not going to drop the act that easily, though. Not when he wanted to see just how far he could push the guy’s limits. Just for fun. Working as a cashier gets boring, it’s about time something out of the usual happens. 

Even if that something is in the form of a very overly alarmed looking brown haired boy. He probably wasn’t expecting to see Yeonjun working as a cashier here. 

Seeing him out in the day makes Yeonjun more aware of his features, unconsciously picking out details in the guy’s face. It seems like the other is also doing the exact same thing, except he’s not even bothered to hide his expression. He sure is an amusing one. 

Yeonjun thinks about how it would be even more amusing to see his reaction at the mention of last night’s incident. 

So that’s exactly what he does, earning a very satisfying high pitched yelp from the man. He now looked very panicked and caught off guard, and it looked as if he was searching in his head for what to retaliate with next. 

_“Not my fault you look stupidly attractive for a cashier!”_

But no amount of coming up with scenarios in his head would prepare Yeonjun for that. Did he just admit that he found him attractive? Apparently so, and so a feeling of pride blooms in his chest. Yeonjun smirks smugly, but then quickly erases it as he is still trying to put on a cool and collected facade. He was not going to show that the unexpected compliment had an affect on him. 

He wanted to keep going on, pushing and testing the smaller’s limits. The brown-haired from last night always seems to have so much to say, so Yeonjun continues just to see where this leads to. Yeonjun is competitive, and he wasn’t going to be the one backing out on this conversation first. He was going to win.

Until the guy somehow alters the story of what had happened and seems to be trying to put the blame onto him. That brat. Yeonjun will not allow himself to be dragged into being in the wrong. 

A sudden change of heart, Yeonjun has decided that maybe he does want a new shirt. It was true that he can easily buy himself one and save him the time and effort of annoying and bothering the other until he gets what he wants, but where’s the fun in that?

Yeonjun’s playful side shows, not giving in to the half desperate looking male and just does what his gut is telling him to do. 

Perhaps maybe it was also him telling him that this would be the only way he’ll get to see the guy again too, but Yeonjun won’t admit that. 

That earns an annoyed look from said guy, eyes looking visibly challenging as he grabs his credit card and makes a dramatic exit by shouting out his few last words. 

Yeonjun mentally thanks himself for getting a glimpse and remembering the name printed on the guy’s credit card. 

“See you around, _Choi Beomgyu._ ” He says almost a whisper, just loud enough for himself to hear, watching him run away at full speed out the ice cream parlor. 

It’s about time he can stop referring to the guy as ‘the guy’. 

He expects to see more of Beomgyu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!! this is my first fic so i’m rlly nervous but pls do tell me ur thoughts <3 
> 
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/st4rjunie)


	2. sunset.

The days feel longer here in Seoul. Nights seem never-ending despite there still being 24 hours wherever Beomgyu is. 

Seoul is good to him like that. He enjoys the sensation of enjoying the days and living through the nights as well. Beomgyu has always thought that sleep took away most of his time. If you’re an individual who makes healthy life choices, you’d be asleep for a third of your life. Beomgyu is 19, meaning he should have already wasted a bit more than 6 years of his life on sleeping. How boring. 

For someone who claims that sleeping is a waste of time, he’s doing an awfully bad job on waking up on time. Apparently even setting alarms don’t work for him, as he’s supposed to wake up at 7 but he is still fast asleep, limbs spread out and tangled in his blanket. 

Beomgyu refuses to get up. It’s just a regular old Monday, nothing worth turning down his precious beauty sleep for. 

And so he just lies there, staring at the vast white ceiling of his room, almost looking too bright at this time of day when the sky’s awake. 

He only forces himself up when his phone rings; a call from Taehyun. The moment he accepts the call he is met with the sound of his friend practically screaming on the other line, telling him to get up and stop ‘lazy-ing around’, followed by a couple other things he couldn’t really catch. 

“Don’t tell me you forgot what you’re supposed to be doing today?” Taehyun lets out an exasperated sigh, voice sounding like he was half-expecting this to happen. He’s only known Beomgyu for a little over two weeks, but it seems like he already knows a lot about him, seeing that he’s able to predict what conversations he would be having with the older most of the time. 

Or maybe Beomgyu is just easy to read. 

“That’s exactly why I told you the other day! So you can remind me later when I forget!” 

His blonde friend probably didn’t expect that being friends with Beomgyu also meant being a personal alarm and event reminder. 

“You. Morning classes. New project.”

 _Fuck._ He actually totally forgot. 

Beomgyu runs a hand over his face annoyedly for being able to forget such an important thing. He didn’t have much time left, immediately rushing out of his room and heading to the bathroom to quickly brush his teeth and shower. 

Beomgyu is a music major freshman in college, and for the most part he was enjoying it so far. He’s always liked music ever since he was young, being in school bands and doing singing gigs at school events. 

He’s always liked how music is so diverse. There will never be two songs that sound exactly the same, two songs that have the same meaning, two songs that feel the same. 

And Beomgyu likes that about music. Beomgyu likes feeling. Instead of remembering visual things like surroundings or faces, he remembers how he feels at certain parts of his life. He remembers how he felt at his friend’s birthday party when he was 10, how he felt when he lost his favorite doll bunny, how he felt when he successfully learned how to tie his shoelaces for the first time. 

Although he doesn’t have a visual memory of these events, he remembers the feelings he felt then all too well. Memory still fresh in his head, forever resting in the home of his heart. 

It’s how he had learnt to adapt to life. He was rather forgetful, and if you didn’t bring things up more than once he’d probably brush it under the rug. He can’t remember most events from his childhood, so living through feelings instead of images is what he had to do. 

Songs do the same thing to him. Since it’s just the beautiful sounds of soft words and lulling instruments, it does the same thing to his heart, allowing the melodies to form and bloom new feelings in his chest with each new song he listens to. 

He gets to feel things he would never be able to feel through music. 

And so when he briefly heard the news from his professor that he would finally get to work on his own song as his first official project of the semester soon, he was more than ecstatic. He had already come up with ideas on the spot and taken notes so he doesn’t forget them later on.

Except right now he is already late for his 8 a.m. class. So much for trying to make a proper good first impression on the professor. 

Beomgyu hurriedly gets dressed, grabbing the first comfortable thing he could find; in this case a loose black t-shirt and grey sweatpants, and starts heading towards the door. He doesn’t forget to quickly shove a piece of toast in his mouth on the way out.

He texts his trusty best friend Kai to get a good word in for him, telling him to inform the professor that ‘Beomgyu was rescuing his neighbor’s cat so he couldn’t make it in time’ and that he was apparently very sorry but he insists that he must save the day first. Not like his apartment complex doesn’t allow pets or anything. 

So he waits at the bus stop, already 30 minutes late, as he just helplessly stares at the soft blue sky and moving clouds, waiting for when the next bus arrives. 

This might take a little longer than he expected. 

Beomgyu runs through the gates and down the hallway in full speed, desperately trying to get his legs to move faster as he pants heavily while trying to find his class. Beads of sweat were now evident on his face, and Beomgyu only wishes his legs were a little longer. 

Maybe it was not a good idea to run instead of just waiting for the next bus to pick him up and drop him safely at the college’s entrance. This made sense in Beomgyu’s head at the time, though.

He halts in his tracks, seemingly having found his class. Beomgyu sighs in relief, letting out a lopsided grin as he straightens down his shirt with both his hands to get rid of the wrinkles he earned from speeding carelessly. He takes a deep breath, calming himself down and catching his breath as he knocks the back door a few times before letting himself in. 

Surprisingly no one is paying much attention to him, because everyone still has their eyes on the front of the class where the professor is seated. 

Except for Kai, who gets up and waves his arms around excitedly, whispering not-so-quietly for him to come take the seat next to him. The seat is right at the back of the room next to the window, conveniently empty. 

Beomgyu walks his way to his reserved seat, flashing Kai a quick smile, only for it not to fully reach his eyes. His legs are still aching and heart is still pounding due to the exhaustion of practically running what felt like a marathon. 

“Well you look terrible today.” That’s the first thing Kai greets him with, followed by a pat on the shoulder. He spits out jokingly when finally sees Beomgyu clearly, a smile reaching Kai’s eyes making them look like crescent moons.

Kai stares more at the smaller friend, eyes observing his now messed up fluffy brown hair and current exhausted condition. He lets out a hysterical laugh, head tilting back making his hair fall ever so lightly and clinging to his forehead, eyes crinkling in the corners. 

This makes Kai almost fall off his chair in the process, but luckily for him he was caught just in time from the back of his seat by Beomgyu, who is now looking down at him with a face that he is not sure whether it's concern or amusement. 

“Why good morning to you too, Huening Kai.” Beomgyu looks deep into his eyes, now fully smiling at him for the first time this morning, teeth and little dimples on full display. 

That only causes Kai to actually fall over this time, accidentally hitting his elbow on the corner of his chair while doing so, earning a pained scream coming from himself. 

_It sure hurts._ He could feel his cheeks and ears getting redder by the second. 

Except he’s not exactly sure if that’s because he’s in pain and probably bruised whatever part of his body, or because he can still feel Beomgyu’s eyes on him, gaze feels like it’s piercing through skin wherever his eye lands on. Just thinking about it makes the heat on his face burn up even more, so that confirms his suspicion. 

Beomgyu holds back a laugh, but it’s very evident on his face that he is indeed worried, so he quickly offers a hand and pulls him up. 

Or maybe the cause of Kai’s flushed face is because when he gets up from what felt like an eternity on the floor, he sees all his classmates eyes and attention on him. Since when had everyone been staring? He even managed to get the attention of his unfriendly looking professor, now pushing up his glasses to see the situation better. 

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to be that loud, it's just that I panicked a little… Sorry again!” Kai bows, bending over in almost 90 degrees repeatedly in every direction he turns to. He then properly sits down calmly again after his apology has been accepted in the form of a nod coming from the grumpy man in front of the class. 

Said grumpy man finally decides to speak up again after not saying anything for maybe too damn long.

He clears his throat, “As I already said this at the beginning of the class, most of you should already know what your main assignment will be for your first semester here. You are each going to be writing and composing your own song. There are no major guidelines, as you will all have full creative part in making your own piece, but just make sure it’s done with your whole heart.”

Beomgyu was very excited to hear this. He’s always wanted to try to make a song, completing it from finish to end all by himself, so this is the perfect project for him. He couldn’t be more happy, not even bothered to hide the smile slowly creeping up to his face as he thinks about all the possibilities, mind already overflowing with all his ideas. How was he even going to narrow down the options? 

His smile drops when he hears the next few words coming out from the professor’s mouth. 

“This will be 60% of your grade, so I expect a lot from you. You have until June to finish this, meaning about 2 months. I expect a lot from all of you, and that’ll be it for today.” The professor claps once at the end, giving a sense of closure. His classmates are already getting up and bidding a bunch of ‘goodbye’s to one another.

Beomgyu cannot believe this. 

“60% for just one project? Is this some kind of joke?” He whispers to a very nonchalant looking Kai amongst the chaos that is his now cluttered classroom and his own mind. Kai looks pretty relaxed actually, seeming to have already collected himself after the situation. 

“Apparently not. Prof’s been going on about this since the first class we had with him, hasn’t he? Looks like he must be excited.” He just shrugs and responds.

“Yeah, excited to see me fucking fail! How am I gonna be able to come up with something worth more than half of my grade? Impossible!” He whines, not believing his ears. It’s funny how one moment he was practically happily dancing around in the room of his head, and now he wants to violently rip out all the old man’s little-to-no hair. Maybe that’ll knock some sense into him. 

“Eh, old people I guess.” Kai says while shoving his things into his bag, ready to get up and head to his next class. 

Until Beomgyu frantically grabs his hands, looking panicked as he stares into the taller’s eyes for probably the third time today.

“Kai-ya, run away with me.” He sounds almost a bit too dead serious and desperate judging by the alarmed look on Kai’s face, so he lets go of his hands, softly chuckling to lighten the mood a bit once again and adds,

“I can’t stay here, as in I really can’t do this project, so do I just give up? Move back to Daegu? I miss my mom, and my parrot.” 

Kai’s face relaxes and softens now when he realizes that Beomgyu is just being his dramatic self, so he holds onto Beomgyu’s shoulder firmly and reassuringly. 

“You’ve got this! You’ll be fine I just know it. We can always brainstorm ideas together if you wanna?” 

He’s really glad to have Kai, always there as his emotional support, _his pillar_. He really doesn’t remember how they started getting familiar around each other, but he’s always so grateful he can have someone to lean on.

So that’s exactly what he does, as he rests his head on the now much taller male’s shoulder and closes his eyes for a bit. 

“Don’t you miss Daegu, too?” He opens his eyes for a bit just so he can see his friend’s face while he asks, now waiting for a response. 

Kai smiles like he already knows the answer, like the answer’s right in front of him.

And apparently it is. He shifts slightly to the side to very lightly pet Beomgyu’s head.

“Why would I ever miss it when all that I ever liked there is still here with me now?” 

  


* * *

  


Yeonjun hums an unknown tune, both legs placed on top of the table as he watches Soobin get ready to close up the ice cream parlor for today. The tall, pastel blue haired man scans the place one last time, making sure he hasn’t forgotten to turn off all the lights like he did last time and turns his head back to Yeonjun, giving him a thumbs up as a signal that they can leave now.

He gets up delightedly, grabbing his things and starts heading out along with Soobin. The chiming sound of the bells placed on the door are heard as they step out, faces now met with a gust of wind. 

“Thank you for keeping me company by the way, Yeonjun. You know it gets boring when I’m left alone to close up. I appreciate it.” Soobin breaks the silence by speaking, wanting the person walking beside him right now to know that he is indeed grateful.

“It’s no big deal, it’s still early out anyway.” Yeonjun tries to act cool with it, shrugging like he really meant that it was no big deal. Not that he was bored out of his mind while waiting back in there or anything.

Yeonjun gets an idea. 

He increases his pace just so he can get ahead of the taller. He stops in his tracks once he is in front of him and turns around, now fully facing the man. He leans his head in and tilts it to the side, proposing a suggestion. 

“Since you felt dearly touched because of my sudden act of kindness, it would be very nice of you to also return the favor, hm?” Yeonjun smirks and says almost teasingly, but an unaffected face is evident on the latter. 

“If you wanted me to give you a ride home you could’ve just said it! No need to back me into a corner! My god… ” Soobin sighs afterwards, but is instinctively already opening the passenger seat door for the Yeonjun to cheerfully hop in with a smile plastered on his face. 

The drive to Yeonjun’s place would have been peacefully quiet if it wasn’t for the alarmingly loud music the older between the two had insisted on playing to ‘relieve their Monday stress’. 

If the noise made Soobin’s head ache a tad bit more than before, he wasn’t going to admit it, because Yeonjun looked so _alive_. Here, in this moment of him just singing in the car. 

It’s like Yeonjun purposely made his voice sound even more annoying and nasally than usual, messing up the words and adding more than enough adlibs throughout each song. 

“You know, you used to be a great singer. What the hell happened to that?” Soobin jokes when the song ends, making the Yeonjun perk up his head just as he was about to pick another song. 

“Well excuse you. First of all, I still am an amazing singer. And secondly, don’t you know how to have fun, Choi Soobin? You are so incredibly boring.” Yeonjun retaliates in return, trying to sound offended as he rolls his eyes and folds his arms over his chest. 

“And you apparently have not changed at all. Still the loud, annoying and childish Yeonjun.” He says with a smile, meant to be words of endearment. He really hasn’t changed. 

“And that’s why you dated me, right? That’s why you confessed to me, because I was loud and annoying, right?” 

Their past relationship suddenly being brought up makes Soobin choke on air, coughing while trying to cover his flustered face with his one free hand that isn’t gripping the steering wheel. 

“You are so annoying oh my god please shut up. We are forgetting that ever happened!” Soobin’s ears felt like they’re burning up. It really shouldn’t have affected him that much. That was last winter, he has long moved on since then. 

“Aww is my little Soobinnie embarrassed?” He coos, “It’s okay! Hyung will take care of you—“

Soobin throws one of the empty bottles laying around on the seat at Yeonjun so it cuts him off mid sentence, earning a shriek coming from beside him.

“Please shut up.” He tries to look and sound serious but fails as soon as he takes a peek at the sight next to him. 

Yeonjun is laughing, eyes disappearing and tears starting to well out from the amount of laughter. He curls himself up, bringing up his legs and starts hugging them in order to stop his body shaking from laughing that much. _He looks so happy._

Soobin smiles fondly and turns the music back on for him and continues driving. 

Aside from the now soft music playing, it’s a comfortable silence between the two. 

When they arrive, Yeonjun unbuckles his seatbelt and gets out of the car, not forgetting to send a wave over to the blue-haired and thanking him for the ride.

The trip didn’t take long at all. The apartment he’s staying at is rather close to where he works, in order to avoid the inconvenience of having to get up even more early for his morning shifts. He could’ve easily taken a bus home, but that wouldn’t be so fun, would it?

Yeonjun hasn’t had a lot of quality time with the guy ever since Soobin’s dad handed his spot as the owner of the ice cream parlor over to his son, making Soobin now own the place. He surprisingly still has to do the basic duties there however, since he probably hasn’t been able to find more people to hire yet. 

It must be a lot of work, Yeonjun can only guess from the time that he has spent with the younger has lessened and lessened over the months.

Yeonjun first started working there as an offer to help Soobin, and maybe so he gets to spend more time with him, but he found himself enjoying the job a lot more than he had originally thought he would. 

He likes seeing new faces everyday. Even if it’s the same people that return for ice cream for more than once, it’s very unlikely that they remember his face or just his presence there in general.

He likes people not knowing him. Likes how you normally wouldn’t have any expectations on a stranger, and so he likes being a stranger to everyone. He likes how there are no attachments involved in business. Here he’s just a cashier; nothing more, nothing less. 

No expectations means no disappointment, right? 

And no attachments meant no pain in the end, meant nobody abandoning him behind because he had no one in the first place. 

And so he was actually quite surprised when the brown haired guy from the rainy day of the incident remembered him. Yeonjun didn’t think he had made an impression worth remembering on the latter but apparently he did, as he recalls the events from a few days ago at work, smiling to himself. 

Yeonjun doesn’t know why he’s smiling, really. He just feels like smiling, and so he lets himself be happy for the moment. 

He enters the building, hands in his pockets as he greets the apartment receptionist by bowing politely and heads his way to the elevator. 

Just as he turns a corner, he sees the elevator door still wide open, so he takes that as a challenge to quickly get in before the door closes. He could have just waited another minute or two more, but he needs a good challenge, and so he makes an attempt. 

He sees the door starting to shut, and so he sprints as fast as he can, not caring about how stupid and desperate he probably looked while doing so. _He was going to get in._

Until the door closes right in front of him, just as he was a millisecond away from stepping in, making him fail the mission he has set for himself.

He whines in defeat and annoyance, stomping and throwing a little fit only for a split second before collecting himself again and heads his way back to the lobby. He knits his eyebrows together, a pout now evident on his face as he sits down, waiting for the elevator door to open again. 

Either someone was playing a sick joke on Yeonjun, or today was just not his lucky day. 

Yeonjun was not happy either way.  


  


* * *

  


Maybe the sick joke Yeonjun was talking about was in the form of a very panicked looking Beomgyu, eyes wide and face full of shock. 

Beomgyu feels like he is finally able to breathe again after so long when the elevator door closes, not even realizing he was holding his breath the whole entire time the event was happening. 

He was surprised to say the least. When he was just standing peacefully in the elevator on his way back from college, he certainly didn’t expect to see the familiar pink haired cashier dashing at him as fast as he could like his life depended on it. 

And so Beomgyu instinctively does the first thing he could think of, he impulsively presses a button, making the door shut almost instantly. He’s not sure if Yeonjun saw him or not, but he sure hopes not. That wouldn’t be good news for either one of them.

He wasn’t going to ignore the very loud whine he heard from the other side of the door, sounding so defeated. 

Mr. Strawberry and his stupidly useless long legs. 

When he reaches his floor it’s when it finally starts to hit him.

Yeonjun lives _here_ , in this building. They could be next door neighbors for all he knows. If only they hadn’t had that weird exchange that one night Beomgyu might have been a little more excited.

Who wouldn’t want a good looking neighbor? 

Although he wasn’t going to fully admit it to himself yet, he did find the pink haired cashier kind of attractive. 

That wasn’t enough to make him feel any less annoyed at the other though, perhaps that made him even more annoyed. Why is everything about this man so annoyingly annoying? 

First it’s the smug smirk that’s always on the guy’s face for some reason, and now it’s the fact that he has to possibly endure that face for as long as he stays here. 

Beomgyu is sure that the world had sent him Choi Yeonjun just to make his life all the more harder. 

After what felt like a whole week of trying to come up with ideas and jotting down notes despite it only being three hours, Beomgyu has come to a conclusion that he really cannot possibly write a song. Not with his head empty like this. 

He really wants his first piece to be beautiful, bearing deep meaning behind it, but he just can’t seem to come up with anything. His mind is blank, hands hurting a bit from gripping his pencil a little too tightly from trying not to lose focus. 

Back aching, he gets up from his seat, stretching his arms out trying to relieve the tension in his stiff body. 

Who knew coming up with ideas would be so boring? Beomgyu certainly didn’t know. He had always pictured it as something almost therapeutic, something that would relieve his stress and clear his mind, not something that would add more to his plate. Beomgyu needed inspiration, something that’ll make him race with excitement and be the driving force for him to write. 

And so he decides that that’ll be enough for today, not being able to sit for any longer. He rearranges his things cluttering the table and apparently grabs his notes a little too roughly, because now he has earned a paper cut at the corner of his right ring finger, drawing a slight amount of blood. 

Sometimes there are things other than the rain that reminds him that the world is not on his side. 

He takes this as a sign to dwell on his problem of writing a song another day, and heads to search for any bandaid lazily lying around his apartment. 

If only his place wasn’t this messy it would’ve made it a lot easier to find the wanted thing. He rummages through the many boxes he has had around his apartment ever since he moved in, only to be left disappointed, pouting in defeat. 

Why is nothing ever there when you need it? 

Beomgyu concludes that it would be easiest to go buy another one, since the search for the tiny bandaid is seemingly endless. He grabs his wallet and keys and heads out the door once more. 

The sky is prettiest at this time, shades of pink and orange swirling and mixing into the usual blue canvas, creating a beautiful palette of colors. 

He really should come out at this time more often. 

The sky is breathtaking. He admires it for doing the bare minimum yet always ends up looking like it does the most in decorating the earth, creating a mesmerizing sight that you can’t just help but let yourself be in the moment, admiring earth’s natural gift. 

Blue hour is certainly beautiful. 

He was just about to get lost in his very own world, head stuck in the clouds as he wondered what it must feel like to be up there and touch the clouds—

“Yo! Tiny guy over there with the brown hair!” 

until he heard a now recognizable nasally voice coming from the direction he was just about to head to, making him snap his gaze down only to find _Mr. Fucking Strawberry_ again. The pink-haired is staring right at him, waving his hands around in the air like he’s one of those inflatable tube man balloons. 

This makes Beomgyu even more sure that the guy is a curse. Why is he everywhere I go? 

Trying not to pay any mind to him, Beomgyu continues walking to where the convenience store is located, trying to ignore the man that is still staring at him expectantly. 

Apparently he tries too hard not to pay him any mind, because he is closing his eyes shut tightly to avoid looking, while still attempting to walk despite not being able to see his surroundings. 

Bad idea. This lands Beomgyu right on the floor, scraping and cutting his knee on the rough ground. It draws blood, making him yelp from the sudden wince of pain. 

Now he has even more to worry about.

He starts to think that Yeonjun is the embodiment of rain itself, because somehow the pink-haired has the same effect on him; ruining all his supposed to be fun and delightful moments.

And is it a coincidence that it never rains or stops raining every time he sees the Yeonjun? Beomgyu thinks not. 

The world has decided to bring misfortune into his life in the form of Choi Yeonjun. 

He suddenly feels a mix of pain and sleepiness fog up his mind, leaving him unable to get up from the middle of the cold sidewalk. Everything around him turns into a blur and he just let’s his body do whatever it wants to him, as he just lies there staring at the inviting pink sky. 

—

It’s a small tug of his shirt along with a poke to the side of his waist that wakes him up again. 

When he opens his eyes, Beomgyu finds out by observing around his surroundings that he has his back against the grass of the park with the fountain in the middle; the one right next to the convenience store. 

And he still sees the familiar shade of pink, except it’s not coming from the sunsetting sky anymore, but from the hair of the guy looking right down at him. His eyes were a mixture of confusion and amusement, maybe even worry if he searches his eyes for long enough or deludes himself into thinking so.

“Okay, thank god you’re alive.” Yeonjun lets out a huge relieved sigh, putting a hand on his chest. He then pats himself on the back and smiles smugly. _That stupid smile again._

“I must say I did a pretty good job on saving you, didn’t I?” The guy says with too much pride for his liking, running a hand through his pink hair that seems almost as soft as cotton candy clouds. 

“God, I am so heroic. You are so lucky to have me here, don’t you think? I think you owe me double now.” He adds on, voice sounding teasing especially when he said the last sentence; another reminder of that night. Beomgyu was not having it.

“No what the fuck? I almost died because of you! You almost killed me, you moron!” Beomgyu makes an attempt to kick the guy in front of him, standing way too close. 

Keyword : ‘makes an attempt’, as the action of launching his uninjured leg forward makes the other grab his leg instinctively in order to protect himself. 

That makes Yeonjun lose his balance, toppling down straight on top of Beomgyu, both arms placed on each side of him to avoid crushing his whole weight onto the smaller. 

If he wasn’t already too close before, then he certainly was now, breath almost touching. Beomgyu curses his heart for beating so rapidly against his chest that it could definitely be heard if Yeonjun leaned in a bit more. He doesn’t even want to imagine what he looks like right now, just hoping the latter doesn’t bring this up again later.

Beomgyu looks up at the pair of dark eyes, eyes staring back at him with a slight shine sparkling in them, not even looking the tiniest bit flustered.

He feels his breath hitch and heartbeat fasten when Yeonjun starts leaning in, making his mind short-circuit. He squeezes his eyes shut, seals his lips tight, and holds his breath when everything becomes too overwhelming. 

Then there was a cold breeze on his ear, one that sent shivers down his whole body, probably the result of the taller man chuckling softly into his ear. He swears he can almost feel the Yeonjun smile, now leaning in closer and whispers, 

“Your shampoo smells funny.” 

That’s when Beomgyu pushes him off, now running and spewing out curses at him. He sprints away as far as he can with what a bruised leg and bloody knee will allow you to. 

It doesn’t let him get very far. 

So he just drops himself down to the grass and lies there, arms now spread apart openly and face facing the almost set sun. 

“Hey hey hey!” a hurried voice comes from the guy who he can only guess is trying to talk to him. Yeonjun comes and pokes his cheek once, attempting to get his attention, and it works because Beomgyu is now sitting up with head turned to face the very irritating Yeonjun. 

“What’s your problem, man?” 

“Nothing, I just wanted to remind you that you owe me double now.” 

Beomgyu scratches his head. _Yeonjun sure is persistent._

“No, let’s talk about why you brought me to the fucking park first!” He says almost too loudly, a hand quickly rushing to cover his mouth. Yeonjun uses his other hand to bring his index finger up to his lips, making a ‘shhh’ sound, signally the other to lower his voice down as it appears that they have caught the attention of people passing by. 

“Oh yeah about that,” Yeonjun pauses for a bit, hesitating on finishing his sentence, “I was planning to maybe treat your wound better?” He points to Beomgyu’s knee, blood now starting to dry. He then points to the direction of a small bench, where he has a plastic bag full of things Beomgyu makes out to be alcohol pads, bandages and bandaids. 

Actually touched by the gesture, Beomgyu allows the other to drag him up by the arm, now sitting him down on the bench he had pointed to. 

Yeonjun treats the wound skillfully, being very gentle when wiping the scraped area with alcohol pads. The sudden cold contact on his knee makes Beomgyu wince, only to be comforted by a soft hand holding him by the wrist. 

He must say, Mr. Strawberry is attractive. He feels very embarrassed when he allows himself to admit it, but the man just looked incredibly stunning under the darkening light of the sky, hair standing out like a star he could locate from anywhere. 

Beomgyu liked people who paid attention to him in little ways, and especially people who were caring. Maybe Yeonjun did have a soft side. 

He also has nice hands. Beomgyu learns this from how his eyes are now staring directly at the long slender fingers gripping his wrist ever so gently, but the touch feeling very there. 

To top it all he also has nice lips. Full, pink and slightly glistening from the way he was biting it prior due to heavy focusing. His mouth is half open, soft breaths leaving from between his lips every now and then. 

It’s alarming how Beomgyu notices all these things so clearly, because it means that he’s probably been staring for too long. He retreats his gaze to something far less interesting, like the single pebble he sees on the ground in front of his foot. 

“Why are we in the park again?” Beomgyu questions, breaking the silence between the two as a way of distracting himself. He still doesn’t really get why they were here out of all places. 

“Well like I said, I planned to treat you better because I wasn’t going to leave you half dead on the floor—“

“I was sleeping!” 

“No one sleeps on the cold floor outside at 6 in the evening!” Yeonjun’s voice sounded more high pitched than usual, tone rising and voice cracking at the end.

He continues, “Anyway, I didn’t know where you lived, and taking your half dead-half asleep state to my place just did not seem like a good idea in any situation, so we’re here instead.” 

“You should’ve just left me to die on the cold floor, then.” Beomgyu dramatically raises a hand to his forehead, closing his eyes and choking out a fake sob. “I don’t want to be stuck here with you!” He speaks as though he’s not very obviously enjoying the feeling of being taken cared of by someone else. 

“Say that when you’re able to take your eyes off me, buddy.” Yeonjun says almost too nonchalantly, not even sparing a glance at him. _How did he know I was staring?_ Beomgyu made sure to only take a peek at the guy only when the other obviously had his eyes on something else. 

Silence. Not a word said after that. 

Yeonjun would be lying if he said he hadn’t at least expected the other to retort with something like ‘shut up’ or just anything that seemed likely that Beomgyu would say in general. 

So the silence did take him by surprise, now concerning him whether he had crossed the invisible line drawn by them or not, as he’s not so sure if they can even be called friends yet. 

Beomgyu wasn’t going to let him know this, but the cause of the silence was maybe due to the fact that he couldn’t really come up with a thing to say to deny the remark. 

Perhaps he did kind of like this, sitting so close to someone that you would probably be able to hear all the thoughts echoing inside their heads if you tried. Beomgyu liked the feeling of warmth next to him, contrasting again the coldening air of the time just between day and night.

But he didn’t like the part where the warmth was now starting to head its way up to his cheeks and ears, heat spreading at a concerningly fast rate, causing them to burn up like a newly lit candle. 

His body reacts to all _this_ so easily. So suddenly, too. Like it didn’t need much to provoke him at all. Like the way he was effortlessly reacting this way was just muscle memory. 

Face now probably looking much too flustered, Beomgyu decides to ignore the last remark, turning his head away even more so that the certain pair of eyes don’t catch him getting affected by him and his words so effortlessly. 

He tries to come up with anything to say in hopes of changing the subject, immensely trying to avoid eye contact by looking at everything but the guy obviously seated next to him, still handling and treating his wound. 

Yeonjun must be really skilled, or else the friction between the cotton pad and the cut on his knee wouldn’t have gone unnoticed by Beomgyu so easily. 

“Are you a part-time nurse?” He questions, genuinely looking for an answer, because he really didn’t expect Yeonjun to have this side of him. 

“Have you ever seen a part-time nurse? If I were one I don’t think I’d be working at an ice cream place as a cashier and forcefully having to dye my hair. Oh my poor roots…” Yeonjun’s free hand goes up to touch his hair, face looking actually sad at the fact that his natural hair color is gone and that his hair now needs extra care. Going bald was not one of Yeonjun’s plans for this year. 

“I think it suits you, though. I’ve never seen anyone bold enough to dye it this color before, so that’s a first. I’ve only ever seen one Mr. Strawberry.” Beomgyu states, not paying much mind to the accidental slip of the nickname. 

“Mr. what?” Yeonjun blinks dumbfoundedly, his hands stopping whatever he was doing and gives his full attention to the smaller. 

“I am not saying that again.” 

“Do you call me Mr. Strawberry? Do you do you?” Yeonjun’s eyes lit up mischievously with intention to tease Beomgyu, and the latter knew he was done for. 

“Oh my god shut up? Please?” Beomgyu now regrets letting such an embarrassing name slip. He guesses he should start referring to him as Yeonjun now since he already knows his name anyway. 

Much to his not-so-surprise, Yeonjun indeed doesn’t shut up, looking like there’s something confusing him and that it can’t possibly be left and unanswered. 

“But shouldn’t you be Mr. Strawberry? Every time I see you, you’re always eating strawberry flavored things. The milk and the ice cream?” He tries to make sense to it, connecting all the dots in his head that just don’t seem to line up. 

“It’s because of your hair, dummy.” Beomgyu replies matter-of-factly, like it was an obvious thing already known by the world. 

“But strawberries are red—“ 

“That’s not the point!” Beomgyu cannot even believe that they’re having this conversation right now, until he realizes that strawberries are indeed red. 

But like he said, that’s not the point. 

The brief silence is broken again by the taller, “Well since you already have a nickname for me, how about I give you one too?” He suggests, almost pleading as it’s clear that he’s the one more excited to give the brown-haired something to call. 

“And that would be?” 

“Hmm…” he thinks for a moment, eyebrows knitting and lips pursing like he’s actually trying to come up with a good name to give Beomgyu. 

“Since the two times I last saw you, you’ve always been connected to strawberries, so it would make so much more sense if I called you that. But because you’ve already given that nickname to me, then how about I name you something that correlates with today?” Yeonjun rambles, and Beomgyu thinks he might be taking this nickname thing too seriously. 

_It’s kinda cute._

“Okay I’m listening, like what then? What do you have in mind?” 

“How about ‘sunset’?” He pauses to see the other’s reaction before he continues, only to see Beomgyu looking seemingly confused, so he elaborates, 

“Today I found you under the sky at sunset— you were kinda dying though now that I think about it, but does Mr. Bloody knee sound good to you?” 

“Choi Yeonjun you—“ Beomgyu’s words get cut off by a fit of laughter coming from the pink-haired, eyes now closed shut into single lines as he swings his head back from laughing. His voice rings and echoes in Beomgyu’s ears, making an unusual feeling bloom in the pit of his stomach. 

Whatever that feeling was, it felt weird.

And he’s not sure whether he liked it or not. 

“God, you’re so irritating!” Beomgyu would have gotten up if it wasn’t for the hand now grabbing his arm and pointing to his knee, signaling and reminding that he was not done with the wound yet. 

Beomgyu sighs in defeat and just lets the other finish what he insisted on doing. It was sure taking long, though. 

“How old are you by the way?”

He needed to age check Yeonjun real quick. 

The question came out sounding like it came from a voice that was not his, one that he could not recognize. He doesn’t know why he just blurted out that question like he was in a place to. The two were not friends, nor did it seem like they both had the intention to be. 

So when Yeonjun just replied without much thought, it took him much by surprise. Maybe he was looking too deep into this. Maybe that was just a normal question for people to usually ask each other. 

“Twenty-one, But I don’t go to college. Dropped out ever since freshman year.” 

Maybe it was also normal that he found himself feeling relieved. Yeonjun didn’t look old or anything, but you never know. Old people are starting to look younger these days, so it’s nice to know that Yeonjun wasn’t one of those middle aged people who try to take advantage of the younger by scamming them with empty promises. 

“And how old are you? From the way you act I’m guessing you can’t be older than a five-year-old.” 

“Oh fuck you! I’m nineteen, you hag!” 

He smacks the apparent older on the arm, earning a screeching ‘ow!’ from him. It was an entertaining sight, watching him over exaggerate by rubbing the area he had hit. 

“You should start treating me like the hag that I am then! Ever heard of respecting your elders? And after all I’ve done for you… I cannot believe the kids these days.” 

“Then Mr. Strawberry,” He turns his body around so his now facing him again, smiling while looking into his eyes, “Could you please kindly shut the fuck up?” 

Their bickering seemed never-ending. 

—

It was getting late, a shade of dark blues and purples dusting over the sky, creating a painting like sight. Even a few stars are coming out to play, very rare for this time of year. The air was a little thicker, a little colder, wind a little stronger. 

However there was one thing that was still by his side, never changing ever since the sun had started setting, and that was the warmth he felt coming from a certain someone with strawberry pink hair. 

It was amazing how the color of Yeonjun’s hair still stood out and shone under the now dark sky, as if it were one of the stars itself. 

Who knew the color pink could look this blinding? 

The only reason neither of them are home, still staying out here in the park in the middle of the night is because Beomgyu had insisted that he was not able to walk home yet. He gave out the lazy excuse of ‘needing healing time’ for his poor knee friend. 

If that’s what Beomgyu insisted, then Yeonjun was going to ignore how Beomgyu was able to run completely fine, even screaming at the top of his lungs when he shouted that there was a bee behind him. 

And Beomgyu was going to ignore the feeling of warmth being spread very slowly all over his body, despite there being hardly any physical contact between them as well. 

But it was getting late, and Beomgyu knew he had to let Yeonjun go so he wouldn’t look too clingy. 

He’s not trying to be clingy, it just felt nice like this.

And so he pushes Yeonjun away from where they were seated and practically forces him to head home. 

“You’re sick of me already? That’s a shame, I thought we were finally getting along so well.” Yeonjun lets out a fake cry and wipes away his fake tears, trying to look as sad and hurt as possible although failing to do so. 

His eyes looked happy. Beomgyu could see that very clearly, despite being under the dark light of the night sky. 

“Yeah, you’re so boring. Please do leave me.”

“Hey! I’m taking offense to that!” 

They joke around for a bit more before Yeonjun concludes that it’s finally his cue to head home. He grabs his belongings, but leaves the plastic bag with a few things left inside behind on the bench for the other. 

“I hope to see you around, Mr. Sunset.” Yeonjun says as he sends little waves, ready to head back to his apartment after a long day. 

“That’s such a stupid name.” 

“Perfect for you then!” 

Beomgyu holds himself back from running after the man and landing a kick right to his side, because that would do nothing but more harm to his now treated leg. 

And so he just stands there and watches as Yeonjun scurries away, not forgetting to turn around and wave once more cheekily at the younger. 

Beomgyu decides that he’ll hang around the now empty park a bit longer. Except instead of sitting on the bench, he lies down next to the fountain, right under the stars where they look the most beautiful. 

The cold nights are good to him, accompanying him unlike the rain ever could. 

And so he just lets himself lay there momentarily, back against the grass and soul in the sky, a loud panging in his chest. 

He blames Yeonjun for his confused heart, like he blames him for everything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!! tell me ur thoughts <3
> 
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/st4rjunie)


	3. 1/60.

Taehyun has never felt this drawn to someone before.

He’s only ever seen it in movies, read it in romance novels, but this is the first time he’s actually experiencing it first hand. 

The feeling of hearing bells ringing all the way up to your eardrums for the first time. The feeling of your heart clawing out of your chest to reach for someone. The feeling of curiosity, wanting to know and learn more and more even because just one sight wouldn’t be enough. 

Apparently his name’s Kai. Taehyun learns this from eavesdropping the conversations of students who are strangely all talking about the same thing, the new music major freshman ‘Huening Kai’.

The blonde concludes that the guy must be popular, but he guesses he already suspected that judging by the stunningly unique features Kai has; shiny brown hair and deep sharp brown eyes, tall pointy nose and doll-like lips with an impressive height to top it all. 

Taehyun feels defeated already, seeming like he has a lot of competition. 

But he wasn’t going to let that bother him, and so he just continues walking to his class, plugging in his earphones to remove himself from the world around him. 

—

Taehyun wasn’t going to let his little crush affect him. He wasn’t going to let his crush on the beautiful tall guy show at all, actually. He was planning on just admiring him from a distance, close enough to see him, far enough to keep his heart out of reach so that he avoids the feeling of rejection. Where it’s warm, but doesn’t burn. 

That was his plan, and he wanted to keep it that way. 

More like that was his initial plan, because all the borders he had set up for himself suddenly all came crumbling down when he stumbled upon the site of his crush sitting at the bus stop. He was probably listening to music, as his head was silently bopping to the beat from his earphones and foot gently tapping the floor. 

Taehyun wasn’t going to lie and say that he didn’t find that cute, because he did. But he wasn’t desperate, and going up to the tall guy and tapping his shoulder just to tell him that he found him cute didn’t seem like a good idea. 

But when an opportunity comes, you grab it. This is why Taehyun has seated himself down right next to Kai, a safe distance away enough not to make the other feel uncomfortable. 

It did feel nice though, just being in the presence of Kai. He somehow had this aura around him that made even just being in the same room as him feel energizing. 

Kai felt like a happy pill, a happy pill that Taehyun wanted to make happy as well. 

A bus had finally come, now instantly being filled with college kids all cramming into the bus at the same time. It was no surprise that Kai was also getting on the bus as well, taking a seat near the front of the bus next to the window. 

Taehyun heads his way to the back and plops himself down, sitting comfortably and relaxing his shoulders from today’s class’ stress. 

He always thought that the view from the back looked better, getting to see everything in front of him clearly without being a bother to anyone. It was like he was in his personal bubble. 

Sitting at the back also meant being able to get a look at the tall guy without anyone catching onto his little crush. Not that he minded anyone knowing, it’s just that it’s better to save him the time of explaining it to anyone. He doesn’t have the time for that, and he shouldn’t be obligated to. 

For someone who was trying to be subtle with his staring, he was doing a rather horrible job. Eyes still fixated Kai ever since he sat down.

Maybe Taehyun didn’t want to be just one of his admirers after all, he realized as his heart felt like it was starting to crave for something more.

That feeling was dangerous. 

However he didn’t want to make the bold move of introducing himself and shooting his shot just yet. He was going to go slow with Kai, let time play it’s part and do it’s magic. 

That’s when he suddenly had the idea of doing something he self proclaimed as ‘genius’, a smirk making its way to his lips. 

_Ding!_

**AirDrop**  
“hey❣️” would like to share a Spotify playlist. 

Taehyun swears he heard a little gasp coming out from someone near the front of the bus, the sound which he could only predict that it came from the person he had sent the playlist to; Kai. 

Even though he was seated right at the back, it didn’t stop him from catching the sight of the taller putting a hand to his mouth, probably not expecting the sudden surprise of a playlist sent just for him to listen to. 

Taehyun doesn’t catch what happened next, as he can’t see, but that doesn’t stop him from feeling somewhat satisfied. He just hopes Kai enjoys the songs he carefully picked out just for him, hoping they would suit his taste. 

The rest of the bus ride home consisted of Taehyun dozing off, and a certain boy quietly listening to music, finding himself smiling as he listens to the words and pretty tunes.  


  


* * *

  


“I don’t trust him.” Kai blurts out suddenly in the middle of their lunch, cheeks still stuffed with food as he just stares at his half-empty plate of food in front of him.

“Oh come on! He even bought me little bandaids to put on the paper cut I’ve got on my finger! He pays attention to me, he’ll help me for sure. This’ll work.” 

The younger shakes his head disapprovingly, “Dunno, just don’t like him.” Kai continues to spoon food into his mouth, but his eyes still look like he’s deep in thought; like he’s trying to connect the dots in his head, like he’s digging up something suppressed far back.

Beomgyu sighs, “Listen up Kai, I know you get better grades and all, and that’s very cool, but that doesn’t mean your opinions are any more valid than mine! My gut is telling me that he’ll be useful!” 

“Don’t take offense to it, I didn’t mean it like that. How do you want him to help again? You kinda lost me.” 

Beomgyu clears his throat and puts his elbows on the table, hands clasped in a collected manner, “I think he can be of help to my song writing project.” He says almost sounding excited, a hint of mischief gleaming his eyes.

Kai looks confused, eyes narrowing at him suspiciously, “Please elaborate.” 

“Okay, I know you’re going to say this makes absolutely no sense, but I’ve been trying to come up with ideas for my song project for hours and I have literally nothing. But then I went home after that incident at the park that day and I suddenly got a spark of an idea? But I kinda forgot it before I got to write it down though—” 

“That makes absolutely no sense.” 

“Let me continue! Anyways, I started to think that the reason I couldn’t think of anything to write before was because I hadn’t felt or experienced enough things? Also I don’t remember most of my childhood at all, and that’s where Choi Yeonjun comes in!”

Kai blinks repeatedly, trying his best to understand, “So you’re telling me you’re planning on just using him? Why not just ask me for help? Aren’t I your best friend? You know I’d do anything for you.” 

That’s true. Kai would do anything for him.

“I just need him to help me feel things, you know? Make me do stuff I’d never think of doing. And yeah that’s the thing, I know you’d willingly drop anything to help me.” Beomgyu pauses for a moment, recalling all the times the taller has gone out of his way just to support and be there for him. “I love and appreciate your help lots, but you should prioritize yourself on this one. You have your own song to write too, I wouldn’t want to put more work on your plate. I know you have things that you need to worry about as well, I don’t want to be a bother.”

“And Yeonjun doesn’t? Hyung, you’re never a bother to me.”

Kai is a bit hurt if he’s being honest. Was he not reliable enough? Did Beomgyu not trust him? Or is he being too clingy? He doesn’t really like the idea of Beomgyu relying on someone he barely knows and only met thrice to give him a hand on something so important to him that could basically determine his future. It didn’t make sense, nor did it seem normal to say the least. It seems rather selfish, kind of manipulative. Surely whoever Yeonjun was would not agree to this. 

If Kai didn’t know better he would’ve thought his friend was interested in the guy, but Beomgyu did heavily emphasize the fact that he was only doing this to get back by annoying him and using it to his advantage, which oddly relieved him, making him let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding in.

“Well I don’t really know him, to be fair. But he owes me, anyway.”

“And I thought he saved your life? You owe him!”

“That’s not the point! He has been getting on my nerves, my real plan here is to make him feel slightly attached to me, only to leave him cruelly in the end. The perfect evil plan for a villain.” Beomgyu laughs hysterically like he’s the antagonist in a movie, then quickly collects himself after as if nothing happened, “He’ll regret ever messing with Choi Beomgyu!” 

“You are actually insane, and I still don’t see the point you’re making. I know I don’t make sense most of the time either, but you are a different breed of unpredictable.”

“Kai, if I had wanted an actual extra brain to help me come up with a better option on what to do to get back at him for simply existing I wouldn’t have come to you. You are just here to listen to my ted talk. Now support me, best friend!” 

The younger finally nods, an unsure smile on his face, “Fine! Fine! But please tell me you’ll come to me if he says no or your plan backfires? I’d love to help you.” 

“Believe me, I wouldn’t dare to go and cry or complain about this to anyone else. You’re my #1.” Beomgyu says reassuringly as he makes a ‘thumbs up’ with both of his hands, flashing him a big grin. 

“As I should be. I am the best best friend and you know it! If that guy does anything funny to you I am breaking bones.” Kai assured, looking almost too innocent for a threat, a smile now reaching his eyes as he continued with his meal.

“Oh yeah also, I think someone likes me.” Kai peaked up for a moment as he spoke. 

“Isn’t the whole school already in love with you, Kai?” 

Kai almost laughs, feeling a bit shy at the statement. People weren’t exactly trying to hide their giggles every time he walked past them. “No no this one’s different. He’s been air-dropping me cute things for the past week when I’m on the bus on my way home. The dedication is really something else.” 

He wasn’t going to lie and say he didn’t like the feeling of being admired. He also really appreciated the little things the stranger would send. First it was a playlist that he still admittedly listens to today, the music style fitting his taste perfectly, then it was a video of cute penguins waddling on the snow (that was his favorite). There would be sweet written notes and such. 

Kai had looked forward to those everyday without even realizing, or perhaps he did now. Hopefully the stranger will reveal themself one day, and he’ll thank them for their little surprises. 

“Is someone going to take my precious Kai away from me already? The world is so cruel sometimes.” Beomgyu says exaggeratedly, hands reaching out forward to grab the hands opposite him and holds onto them for dear life, drawing smooth circles with his thumb on the Kai’s pale knuckles. 

“And you also know you’re my #1, right? No one before my hyung.” 

Maybe Kai took it a bit too seriously, maybe he meant that a little too much, because his hands were now holding onto Beomgyu’s just as tightly, as if he were afraid that the other would slip away right then and there. He meant his tightened grip as an unsaid promise, 

_For me it’s always you. I’ll go wherever you go, Hyung. So let me follow you._  


  


* * *

  


“And what’s in it for me, little guy?” The moment Beomgyu hears the nickname he instantly regrets thinking this would be a good idea in the first place. He should have seen it coming, the annoying smirk plastered on the cashier’s face as he’s now just leaning against the counter, chin resting on his palms as he eyes the guy in front of him.

“I don’t know, you get to decide what we’ll do and I’ll pay for everything? I’ll also get you that shirt I promised you.” He tried to come up with something on the spot, Beomgyu didn’t really think this through.

His nose scrunches up at his own mention of the relation to that night, be he just shrugs and lets it slide. The offer sounded a lot better in his head and he can’t help but cringe at himself, mentally banging his head on the hard surface of the counter. 

It took him a whole lot of swallowing his pride to decide to come searching for the guy the only place he’d know to find him, the ice cream parlor. Today seemed like a busy day for the place, customers coming in and out by the minute, most if not all looking satisfied with their time and money spent here. 

It might have felt a little bad, interrupting him on a busy day like this, but Beomgyu didn’t care enough to back away from why he came here. If it felt bad, he wasn’t going to let it show. He had to be his most shameless self today, at this moment. 

On the other hand Yeonjun is thinking, eyes looking up to the side as he lets his brain do its job. Yeonjun supposes he has nothing to lose, the offer not sounding too bad now that he thinks about it. He doesn’t have anything else to do anyway, life is as bland as ever ever since he dropped out of college. He could use something interesting, and surely coming up with ideas and possible ways to annoy the younger seemed like fun. 

“Sure, I’ll help you.”  
“Shit, right. I know asking this was super weird I actually regret— wait huh? You’re agreeing?” 

“Yeah why not? It’s really no big deal, I help you, you buy me a shirt, sounds good. I still haven’t gotten a new one, so I’ll need it, and you still need to keep your promise.” The cashier says looking almost too un-bothered and it caused Beomgyu to become skeptical, eyes narrowing at him and raising one of his eyebrows.

“You better not try to make my life a living hell or anything because I can assure you that you’ll never get to see the light of day again.” 

“And if we’re going to cooperate you might want to be a little nicer to me, _Mr. Sunset._ Why do you trust someone who’s practically a stranger, anyway?” Yeonjun’s voice was laced with the intention to tease the other as he said the nickname, body now leaning in closer to him. 

Beomgyu was going to ignore the last question. 

Because honestly he didn’t know either. Everything he’s doing is just based on his gut, based on purely his feelings and instinct. He wasn’t a rational thinker, and somehow he had been drawn to Choi Yeonjun. 

If annoyance was embodied it would be Yeonjun. 

Why was Beomgyu drawn to that? 

Yeonjun needed to stop being so _irritating._

“We are not going over this again, that name’s dumb, and I don’t like it!” 

“All the more reasons to continue using it, don’t you think?” 

“Literally fuck you, I don’t want your help anymore!” 

He didn’t want Yeonjun’s help anymore, but his feet were still stuck to the ground, unmoving. He didn’t want his help anymore, but his eyes were still glued to the male in front of him, eyes anyone would know to be pleading. He said he didn’t want his help anymore, but his mind was still rushing with the thoughts of a certain annoying pink haired cashier. 

He said he didn’t want his help anymore, but Beomgyu sure didn’t want Yeonjun to turn him or this down. 

Damn him and his good-for-nothing looks and stupid smirk. 

But maybe Beomgyu was the stupid one for being so affected by every little thing. 

At the end of the day Beomgyu is just on a mission, to use Yeonjun and make him attached to him, 

then abandon him mercilessly after he gets what he wants. 

So he needed to suck it up and tolerate Yeonjun for now. 

It was a heartless way of payback for a stupid accident, but maybe Yeonjun deserved it, because Beomgyu has never been so confused until this very stranger had come into the picture of his life. 

Everything confused him, from the way his head felt fuzzy, like it banged and throbbed inside every time he saw Yeonjun, to the way he felt his stomach swirl upon just him being close to him. He felt like gasping for air, yet breathing in too much. 

Suddenly nothing made sense, so his plan didn’t have to either. Yeonjun was just going to have to pay the price of entering Beomgyu’s life and he was going to make sure of it. 

“But can you pay for your ice-cream now, though? I need to make money too.” 

_Oh yeah, that first._

Beomgyu forgot that he was standing in front of the line with a waffle cone in his hand, a long queue forming behind him. It was a busy day at the parlor indeed. 

He didn’t want to keep the other customers waiting, but he also wasn’t done persuading the man into helping him. 

Sure, he might’ve said he didn’t want Yeonjun to be involved anymore, and that’s partially true. Yeonjun was a pain and a mystery, a series of unpredictable events always following after they meet. Beomgyu didn’t particularly want Yeonjun’s help, but he did want to get him back, and this would be the perfect way to kill two birds with one stone. 

He’s already here. Beomgyu guesses he can’t possibly look any more desperate and pathetic than this. 

And so Beomgyu lets go of his deflating pride for a while, just this once. 

He hands the cashier his credit card, “Can we talk for a bit more first? I know you said you agreed and you can’t really take that back now, but I do want to make a few things clear before we start this whole thing?” Beomgyu trails off sounding more like a question, although it really wasn’t judging by the look on his face. 

Yeonjun can’t possibly say no to such a face. 

He calls Soobin over and signals to him that he could use some help covering his spot handling the customers for a minute while he takes a spot to sit and talk to Beomgyu about the details. 

“Yeonjun, you know I don’t do cashier shit. Go ask Seungmin or something!” 

“He’s busy cleaning up the mess that child at table 3 just caused! You come cover for me!” They whisper to each other almost too loudly, surely that will draw attention to the people still waiting in line. 

Beomgyu can only facepalm, Seoul people sure are strange. 

—

“Wait so that’s it? That’s all?” Yeonjun asks, seemingly confused as to how little he actually has to do. 

They were now seated at a spot right at the back of the parlor where Yeonjun had guided him to hurriedly. He was sure that his blue haired friend would not last more than five minutes behind the counter so they had to make this quick. He made a mental note to go thank Soobin for filling in for him even for a short moment. 

He was always grateful for Soobin, and Yeonjun too knew that the other was grateful for having him too. The two have known each other long enough to know that they would both be there for each other no matter what, knowing each other’s strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikings. 

Yeonjun has always had a good relationship with Soobin, and a break up wasn’t going to change that because they were still good friends despite what had happened. Who said exes can’t be friends? 

“Yeah, that’s it! I don’t expect a lot from you, but you should be more than useful enough.” Beomgyu smiles pleasingly. Yeonjun was much easier to persuade than he had imagined. It didn’t take much at all for him to instantly seal the deal with a firm business-like handshake between the two. 

This was going to be easier than he thought. 

“So when do we start? I’m busy this week so we can’t start right away if that’s what you’re thinking.” 

“No it’s fine, we can start next week! I’m good with whatever you have planned. This is just me wanting to experience and do things I’d never think of doing by myself so you can get creative. All I need is to feel more so I have more inspiration and materials to write with.” Beomgyu was impressed by how convincing that sounded coming from his own mouth. Maybe he was better at convincing people than he thought. 

Yeonjun seems much more excited than he should be, eyes gleaming and barely able to hide his grin. That does concern Beomgyu just a bit, not sure if he can really trust the guy to at least keep him alive. Yeonjun looked harmless, but that doesn’t mean he’s not completely unable to turn his life into a living hell. 

He wouldn’t know this until he took a leap of faith and allowed their worlds to collide briefly. 

Surely Yeonjun wouldn’t instantly make him regret his plan entirely.  
  


* * *

  
  
Beomgyu regrets the whole plan entirely.

Sure he didn’t let his guard down, not planning to fully trust the pink-haired on whatever mischief he was planning. He knew no one he barely knew would agree to do something that made absolutely no sense unless they had an alternative motive. 

But he had underestimated Choi Yeonjun. 

He should’ve known there was something suspicious when Yeonjun just texted him a simple ‘hey :D get ready! I’ll be waiting in the lobby’. He should’ve known that the lack of detail in the vague message meant no good, but he just got up and got ready anyway, grabbing a black T-shirt and tucking it in black ripped jeans. 

He was oddly nervous, the same feeling as when you’re about to know how you did on a test. It was nerve-wracking, but you’d also half expected something good depending on how much you prepared. 

Or in this case, he had half expected Yeonjun to be humane, as he would have liked to think that the other might be fond of him judging from that one act of care at the park. 

When he had left his apartment to go meet Yeonjun as he had asked to, Beomgyu realized that they were both wearing something similar. Yeonjun was also dressed in a black T-shirt and black jeans, the only difference being that he was wearing a matching black bucket hat that hid his now bright pink hair which he had seemingly re-dyed. 

“Would you look at that!” The taller gasped exaggeratedly, slapping a hand over his mouth. “You dressed just perfectly for what we’re going to be doing today!” 

“Are we going to a funeral or what? What does that mean!” 

“Well you could say that. Hopefully you don’t get scared easily.” 

Yeonjun might as well have said that he hoped Beomgyu gets scared easily, because the mischievous smile in contrast to the latter’s petrified state said otherwise. 

Yeonjun was insane, and maybe Beomgyu should be more afraid of him than whatever he was planning. 

Beomgyu was in for a ride. 

When the both of them got out of the car that Yeonjun had insisted on driving, Beomgyu realized that Yeonjun was worse than he initially thought. 

Yeonjun had brought him to a haunted house. 

Well not exactly an actual haunted house where people had died and their spirits still roam the place. More like one of those fake haunted houses you see as an attraction in amusement parks that are there purely for your very questionable entertainment. 

Either way Beomgyu did not find this entertaining whatsoever. How did this man who he had only met weeks ago know his weakness already? Yeonjun was dangerous. 

A boring life he has had, as Beomgyu has never even been to one of these, but he could already tell this was a disastrous event in the making. 

“So this was your evil plan today? We just started and you want to try to end me already? You are an awful man.”

“Well I wasn’t kidding when I said we were going to a funeral—“

“And it’ll be your dead body, Choi Yeonjun!” 

“I’m kidding! You’re supposed to laugh! Haha...” Yeonjun fakes out a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “You told me you wanted to feel new emotions to gather experience! Judging by the look on your face, you’ve either been here once because you were forced to or never because you’re too scared. I’d say in my defense that this is perfect.” 

Beomgyu sure was easy to read. 

Although Yeonjun did want to annoy the little guy, he did also think this would be helpful. It made sense in his head, isn’t this what Beomgyu wanted? He’s sure this would be beneficial in some way. 

As Yeonjun was deep in thought, thinking about what the other had really meant when he said he wanted his help, he hadn’t noticed that Beomgyu had already left his side, wandering off to who knows where. 

So this was it. _I have officially lost Choi Beomgyu_ , Yeonjun thought. He’s not sure whether he should panic or celebrate. 

But before he could even react to his disappearance, Beomgyu reappeared just as quick as he left, now holding up two tickets behind him, flashing it in his face with a big toothy smile. 

Staring blankly, it took Yeonjun a few seconds before he could actually grasp the idea of what that meant. 

“No way you’re getting me to join you, this wasn’t part of the plan!” 

“Well, it is now! I can’t experience this alone, can I? Now let’s go!” Beomgyu was now dragging him along to where the haunted house was, looking much worse up close. 

This wasn’t part of Yeonjun’s plan. 

He doesn’t like haunted houses either. 

He just has to hide it better. He needs to keep his cool. 

Maybe he did regret agreeing to help Beomgyu a little bit.

—

“What the hell? Get off of me!” Beomgyu practically yelled at him because otherwise he wouldn’t be heard due to the fact that Yeonjun was screaming at the top of his lungs and latching onto his arm, clawing at his skin. 

“AHHH Beomgyu look behind you!” Yeonjun shouted, now speeding off to wherever he could go that made him feel safe. 

Except nothing here in this haunted house felt safe. He might as well have stuck with Beomgyu even if it meant that there would be a creepy girl in a bloody white dress standing behind them, staring at them with blank soulless eyes. 

Beomgyu who supposedly hated the idea seemed much too unbothered by the whole thing. He only flinched slightly every now and then due to the surprise element of the jump-scares. Other than that, he seemed rather collected, as if they weren’t both experiencing the same thing right now. 

The haunted house wasn’t even scary, looking old and tacky. The ‘ghosts’ were obviously paid actors that looked incredibly bored of their job which is to just cause people to jump and scream. 

Beomgyu did admire the attempt in trying to make the place look spooky. The house and each of the rooms were decorated in fake spider web, a few skeletons and dimmed red lights, causing the whole place to be lit a dark shade of crimson. The detail put into designing the costumes of these proclaimed ghosts was also impressive, it was a shame they couldn’t have let better actors wear them. 

This didn’t stop Yeonjun from being petrified out of his mind, though. 

Yeonjun wasn’t even able to think about saving his image as he scurried his way back to Beomgyu, holding onto his arm as if his life depended on it for the fourth time since they got here. 

Beomgyu was more shocked by the fact that Yeonjun was seriously scared, rather than the actual haunted house if he’s being honest. He could always kind of see through the older’s ‘cool guy’ image, but he didn’t think he would reveal this side of him to him this vulnerably. 

Knowing this weakness was going to be fun. 

Choi Yeonjun is a scaredy-cat, a very loud one at that.

And Beomgyu figures that he isn’t as cowardly as he thought of himself to be. He had never really liked the idea of horror related things just because he found them pointless. Why scare yourself? And on purpose? It made no sense to him, so he tried to avoid them at all costs. 

But now actually experiencing it first-hand, maybe it’s not so bad after all. The excitement and thrill pumping through his veins was perhaps what he had exactly needed. He gets why people enjoy these types of things now. 

And he was enjoying this far more than he had thought he would, too. 

Now getting familiar with the environment that it no longer had any fear-factor to him, Beomgyu decided just to mess with Yeonjun a little just so he could make things a little more interesting. 

“Boo!” He turned to Yeonjun and said abruptly in hopes of scaring him. 

Which much to his surprise, worked. Yeonjun screamed back just as loudly, mouth wide and limbs up in the air. He runs down the stairs back to the first floor where he would try to make his escape. 

Beomgyu is just left there standing befuddled. He didn’t expect such a reaction since he only did the bare minimum. 

He just stood there and found himself smiling. Did he like messing with Yeonjun? _You’re damn right he did._ Maybe even a little too much. The highlight of his trip was made already, in the form of Yeonjun’s frightened shrieks and screams. He would need to thank Yeonjun for bringing him here in the first place. 

Speaking of which he probably shouldn’t leave Yeonjun alone here for too long. 

So he decides to go search for the older, who’s predictably still somewhere in the dark house. He wouldn’t be hard to find at all with the bright pink hair he could locate from a mile away. 

So he walked past two of the zombies, not paying any mind to them even if they were ‘running’ very slowly after him. 

Beomgyu finds out he apparently doesn’t mind haunted houses so much. 

On the other hand Yeonjun made a promise to himself that he would never come back here again. 

Beomgyu managed to successfully drag Yeonjun out of the place unharmed, except for the area on his arm where it hurt from the taller gripping onto it much too tightly. 

Yeonjun looked frazzled. The bucket hat that he was wearing when they met up now vanished, revealing his messy pink hair poking out in all directions. A pout was present on his face, eyes staring off into nothing like his mind and soul was not connected to earth. He looked lost. 

And kind of like a baby chick that got separated from its mother. 

_Cute._

Beomgyu was going to ignore that last thought. He was not going to forget that the sole reason that they’re here is because Yeonjun was trying to set him up for a disaster. 

Well that sure did backfire. The corner of Beomgyu’s lips curve upwards at just the replay of images in his head of what he saw and experienced back in the haunted house. 

He is never letting that image go. It’s staying for as long as he can use to tease Yeonjun for. 

Which hopefully won’t be too long, as he did make a deal with Yeonjun that this was only going to last two months. 

Two months. 60 days. Beomgyu had 60 days to make Yeonjun attached to him, in which after 60 days he had planned to leave the guy mercilessly as revenge after their agreement had come to an end. 

All just because he had insisted that the pink haired man was the cause of his precious strawberry milk spilt on the ground. 

Beomgyu thinks he deserves it. Maybe a little bit. 

The replay in his head makes him burst out laughing, the sudden fit of laughter causes his whole body to shake and drops him to the ground, crouching and hugging his knees as he tries not to let his body hit the floor completely. 

When he looks up to see Yeonjun’s confused face it makes him laugh even harder, tears now welling in the corners. He eventually loses his balance, causing him to stumble back, making his body make contact with the rough floor of the amusement park. 

But he’s still laughing. Yeonjun’s face looks even funnier from this angle. 

“Why are you laughing? People are staring oh my god get up!” Yeonjun frantically says, eyes even more wide and confused than before. He moves his arms around, signaling for Beomgyu to get up. 

Beomgyu was going to grab the taller by the arm, pulling him towards the ground so they could both be on the floor just for fun, but Yeonjun had seemingly predicted this and had moved away just as Beomgyu was reaching out his hand to get him. 

Landing the smaller face-first to the rough floor. 

Ouch. 

You would think that that would cause his fit of laughter to come to an end, but Beomgyu just strangely kept giggling, even with his cheek pushed against the ground. 

Yeonjun is not sure whether this should concern him or not. He figures that the little guy either enjoyed pain, or he was a complete psychopath. 

He’d like to believe the former, although the latter didn’t seem too far-fetched at this point. 

“Your face! God your face looks so funny hold on—“ Beomgyu quickly fetches his phone out of his pocket, facing it towards the man who’s staring down dumbfoundedly. 

_Click._

“Hey! Delete that!” Once he finally processes what Beomgyu just did, he tackles the small figure on the floor and tries to grab his phone out of his hand. 

They were in a strange position, but it’ll have to do if Yeonjun was committed to delete that picture and erase it out of existence. 

“No!” Beomgyu shouts in fake agony, “My new wallpaper is going to look so good. Thank you, that’s very kind of you, Yeonjun.” 

After fiddling around for a bit, Yeonjun realizes that there is no way that Beomgyu is giving up, so he just gets up from the floor and starts walking away in which Beomgyu quickly gets up after him. He dusts off his shirt and catches up with the displeased looking Yeonjun in front of him. 

Once they’re just about walking side by side, Beomgyu shows Yeonjun his wallpaper. Indeed it was a picture that he just changed it to; a picture of Yeonjun looking down, a pout and his double chin on full display with knitted eyebrows. 

Yeonjun stares at the screen for a bit longer than he had expected, long enough to make Beomgyu ready to spew out a bunch of apologies if he had gone too far. 

But instead Yeonjun just laughs, head swinging back as he claps his hands like an excited kid. The picture had amused him, which made Beomgyu relieved and he felt his own face relax. He was hoping he hadn’t accidentally built a wall of weird tension between them just as he was about to feel a little more comfy with him. 

Yeonjun’s voice echoes all the way to his eardrums, and back out in the form of a smile tugged on Beomgyu’s lips. 

“Okay, keep it. That’s actually hilarious.” He slightly giggles between words, “I must look hideous to ants. I’m so sorry they have to see that everyday.” 

“Is this your secret way of calling me short?” 

“I mean, if the shoe fits?” 

“That’s it, that’s going to be my wallpaper for as long as you’re annoying to me, good day!” Beomgyu heads off to… Yeonjun doesn’t know actually. Their plan for the day isn’t finished and Yeonjun still has more in store for him. They are in an amusement park after all, why just stop at one attraction? 

“Yo BG! Get back here! We’re not done!” 

—

“One more time!” Beomgyu says as he’s already skipping his way to the giant pirate ship.

“Not that one again! You said last time would be the last time!” Yeonjun practically begged. He didn’t expect that bringing Beomgyu here would cause him to be the one getting dragged everywhere. 

This was supposed to make Beomgyu feel fear, and possibly make him even more annoyed at him just because he liked to see his reaction, but it feels like he’s not the one in charge of today’s events when he should have been according to their agreed arrangement. 

It’s been 4 hours since Yeonjun has been out with Beomgyu. 4 hours of which consisted of a whole lot of walking and a whole lot of screaming. Yeonjun’s legs were starting to ache from the amount of standing in line they had to do just to ride one ride. 

He had already forgotten about the whole ‘help Beomgyu out by making him experience things’ thing completely if he’s being honest. Yeonjun also learned that Beomgyu isn’t as cowardly as he looks, seeming like he’s handling all the rides just fine. 

Just fine, that didn’t mean Beomgyu wasn’t loud, though.

Beomgyu was screaming at everything. He would scream even when they were just heading their way to the next ride, he would scream when he saw other people screaming, he would even scream at the idea of screaming.

He looked like he was having fun. 

Beomgyu is now also screaming as he’s dragging Yeonjun along by tugging his sleeve, already guiding him to where the queue for their next ride is. 

For someone this small he certainly had a lot of energy inside of him.

“Come on! I can feel my song coming together already. Just one more time! I need more inspiration!”

“What are you even going to write about? The patience of waiting in line?” 

“I can write about a kind man who let me get on this ride one more time ever so kindly?” 

Yeonjun guesses he can’t win all the time. 

Maybe he didn’t want to win if it meant that Beomgyu could keep that smile on his face. 

So he gives in. 

“Can we—“  
“Ask me to ride on that thing with you one more time and I am throwing up on you.” 

Yeonjun’s not really sure if he’s joking or not. His head is spinning and stomach is churning, making him unable to move or think properly. 

He has reached his limit, one more round and he would collapse right there

“Ew, gross. I was gonna ask if we could eat something now? I haven’t eaten since morning, I’m starving.” Beomgyu casually asks, sounding more like an order. 

Yeonjun is taken back a bit by the simplicity of it. Sure, they had basically spent the whole day together already, but seeing Beomgyu so relaxed, comfortable enough to ask to go grab a meal did catch him by surprise. 

He wouldn’t go as far to call them friends just yet, but they were definitely not strangers anymore. 

Yeonjun checks the time, confirming that it’s been 7 hours since he last ate. Not ideal for him at all. He is hungry, and he guesses it’s always more enjoyable to eat with company anyway, so he agrees. 

They decide to walk along for a bit while finding a place to eat, instead of the obviously easier option of just looking it up online or just asking a nearby staff since they were still in the amusement park. 

There was an awkward gap between the two, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. 

What did feel uncomfortable however was the deafening silence between them, growing with every unsaid word, thickening the air. 

Someone had to break it. 

“Was today okay—“  
“Where’d your stupid hat go?”

_Oh._

“I think I dropped it somewhere— wait, stupid? Look at yourself!  
“No, look at this instead.” Beomgyu takes his phone out of his pocket and shows Yeonjun his wallpaper, still that very unflattering picture of him. He laughs loudly, stopping in his tracks for a moment. 

“Your sense of humor is really… wow. Remind me you’re 19 again— ow!” That earns him a slap to the shoulder from the younger, the pain lingering. 

“I actually liked it better when you were quiet, hag. Zip it.” 

Yeonjun brings a hand to his mouth, miming a zipping motion as he presses his lips together. 

The silence lasted only five seconds. 

“But aren’t I your strawberry? So are you officially rebranding me as a hag now? You are so cruel to me.” 

Now Beomgyu is the one walking up to Yeonjun, reaching out his hand to his lips to mimic the look of zipping his mouth shut. 

“Says the one who planned on digging my grave today! At the end I guess it was your pride’s funeral after all? Scared of little ghosties… you’re so lame.” 

“Choi Beomgyu you are paying for my meal.” 

“I was going to do that anyway!”

Beomgyu? Pay for a meal? Yeonjun has only known him for a few days, but those words in the same sentence with Beomgyu’s name just did not sound right. 

Yeonjun fakes out a gasp, “Mr. Sunset has a heart? And a conscience? Good for him— ow!” 

Beomgyu sends him another slap to the shoulder. 

The rest of their search for food is quiet, only the sound of footsteps and light breathing is heard. 

Yeonjun could get used to this, he supposes. 

It’s nice like this.


	4. ice cream in Seoul.

Kai isn’t hard to spot in a crowd. 

Maybe it’s due to his remarkable height, top of his head peeking through the groups of students. It’s probably also because when he’s around you feel it, his presence is somehow always noticed. 

But Taehyun is pretty sure that it’s because of his growing crush on him. 

It was his lunch break, and apparently his schedule had aligned perfectly with Kai’s, as he was making his way through the crowd of students, presumably also headed for lunch. 

Taehyun guesses he can shoot his shot. 

So he tries to catch up with the tall guy, gently nudging a few people so he could make way for himself. 

“Hey Huening Kai!” He calls out to him then catches his breath, only for it to hit him a few seconds too late that he shouldn’t know his name yet. They don’t know each other, well Kai doesn’t know him, and he doesn’t have any reason to. Saying his name loud and clear was not the best thing he could’ve done.

Taehyun was going to come up with an excuse or an explanation as to why he knew his name on the spot, but he knew that wouldn’t take him very far, so he settled on simply introducing himself. He didn’t want to risk saying something dumb. 

“Hi, I’m Taehyun!” He extends his arm out in hopes of a handshake, “I’m from the dance department, and you’re very well-known there!” 

The blonde has to stop himself from sounding too excited. He didn’t want to overwhelm him because Kai probably got this a lot; random people just coming up to him. “Uh, you seem super cool, would you maybe wanna go grab lunch together? If you have nothing to do, that is.” 

Taehyun has never gotten the chance to see him this close before, it feels like he shouldn’t be allowed to when Kai looks this stunning. He looks fascinating, something about him just makes Taehyun feel excited. It’s true that he’s never seen anyone quite like Kai. 

What caught him more by surprise was not the fact that he was finally able to look at Kai in close proximity, however it was the fact that the latter just agreed without hesitation, nodding instantly and the suggestion. 

“Sure!” Kai beamed, smiling all he way up to his eyes. “I was thinking off-campus, what about you?” 

“Same here.” Taehyun really didn’t expect it to be this easy. “So... let’s go?” 

“Mhm!” 

—

Talking to Kai felt easy. 

This is what Taehyun had learnt after talking to him for what now has been a little over half an hour. 

There was never an awkward silence. Both of them liked talking, and so the conversations between them just flowed naturally. The air didn’t feel suffocating, he wasn’t as overwhelmed as he thought he would be. This in no way felt like a first interaction. 

Well, that’s if you don’t count all the things that Taehyun has been sending the other via the convenient form of air-drops as their first interaction. Kai still doesn’t know it’s him. 

Thank God he doesn’t know yet, and thank God they both had IPhones.

Taehyun wasn’t going to bring that up, though. No way was he going to bring that up and possibly ruin any form of newly formed friendship they had created in a short amount of time. 

He was just going to continue to send them anonymously until he had the courage and confidence to tell him himself. Kai didn’t seem to mind either, judging by him not ever choosing the option of declining the pop-ups. 

Their now empty bowls of what once was ramen wasn’t going to stop their flow of conversation. They both still had time left, and they got along so well already, so might as well keep chatting while they’re here. 

It’s not everyday that you get the honor of talking to the shining-star Huening Kai.

“You’re friends with Beomgyu hyung, right?” Kai pops a question casually, leaning back into his chair so he’s sitting comfortably. 

The sudden mention of Beomgyu’s name had caught him off guard. Taehyun quickly put a hand over his mouth as a way of preventing himself from accidentally spitting his drink out onto the guy opposite him, who was staring at him innocently. 

Now how would he know that? 

As if he read his mind, Kai adds right after he had asked the question, “I think I’ve seen you two together a couple of times after school, so you must be friends? I knew you looked familiar!” 

But how would he know that if he hadn’t been observing him? Was Kai also paying attention to him like he had been doing with him? If that was the case, then maybe he does have a shot at earning his love. 

“...Beomgyu is my best friend, you see.” 

_Oh._ Of course. He was just paying attention to his best friend. He shouldn’t have deluded himself into thinking that in the first place. _Way to go Taehyun._ This is why you shouldn’t get your hopes up. Kai shouldn’t even be sitting here with him in the first place, he thought. Taehyun should simply be taking this as a charity event for him.

“Yeah, you could say we’re good friends, although that hyung does seem like a strange guy judging by the things I’ve picked up during the time I’ve known him. On the first day of college he accidentally stepped on my shoe, and instead of immediately saying sorry, he just asked if we could be friends. No other context, just that. That was the strangest first encounter of my life.” Taehyun said half-jokingly. He’s never had trouble with making friends and Beomgyu didn’t seem like a bad guy so he just went along with it. 

Kai hums in response, then his eyes suddenly go wide. “Wait, are you younger than him, too? Are we the same age, then?” 

“2002?”

“No way!” Kai exclaimed excitedly. He’s always been in the same school year as Beomgyu despite being younger because he had no problem with catching up, however that did mean that he was friends with people a bit older than him most of the time. He didn’t mind this, but finding someone who was his age in college did feel nice. 

“Kang Taehyun I like you already, let’s exchange numbers!” 

Hearing this excited the blonde more than it should have, fidgetly handing his phone over to Kai so he could put in his number. 

When the taller hands his phone back to him, he sees a new contact saved to his phone with ‘kai ^3^ !!!’. 

He didn’t know the word ‘kai’ could look this cute. 

But Kai himself was very cute after all. 

  


* * *

  


After knowing Yeonjun for about two weeks, Beomgyu could confirm that he was a pain.

For two weeks it was just Yeonjun dragging Beomgyu to wherever he himself desired, Beomgyu having no choice but to just agree to everything because this is what he signed up for. 

Like the time after their trip to the amusement park, where Yeonjun took him to a small vintage book store. 

“I know I probably look very smart to you, so you think you can learn a lot from me, but nothing can teach you more than books, little guy.” 

“You’re really showing your age, huh?” 

“Do I not sound 21 to you?” 

“No, you sound like my mom.” 

“Damn, your mom is so cool. When can I meet your parents?”

“Ew, never! We’re not dating!”

“And I didn’t say we were, weirdo! I knew you had strange thoughts about me, and stop staring!” 

That trip just ended with a headache. When an idiot tells you to learn about love from a romance novel you should never listen. Beomgyu doesn’t even know why he even bought eleven books that day. Such a waste of his allowance. 

Or like the time Yeonjun took Beomgyu to a petting farm. 

“Now this makes zero sense, why the fuck are we here?” 

“I don’t know, you tell me why you look like a goat.” Yeonjun says as he points to the direction of the animal chomping on some celery. 

“You idiot, those are sheep!” 

“No they’re not. Go back to school.”

“Says the one who dropped out! And yes they are!” 

Or like the time Yeonjun took him to an art gallery. 

“Did you know this is the first oil painting in the world? 

“No, did you?” 

“Fuck no, I made that up. I’m here to take pictures, you go learn about your art or whatever while I take a hundred selfies. Now tell me sunset, what’s my best angle?” 

It has been a long two weeks indeed. Beomgyu didn’t think Yeonjun would take this thing so seriously, but he was proven wrong. Yeonjun’s high energy and Beomgyu’s sleep-deprived college student self was not a good combination, and Beomgyu was losing money quicker than ever due to his packed plans with Yeonjun. 

Beomgyu didn’t even know why he was doing this to be honest. He really doesn’t need Yeonjun’s help. Beomgyu has no idea how any of this could be beneficial to his song writing, but he could see the Yeonjun being absolutely smitten to him a huge possibility in the future. 

Ah yes, Beomgyu’s ongoing plan of making Yeonjun attached to him deeply in 60 days so he can get revenge. He thinks it’s working, especially having spent this much time with each other already despite it only being 2 weeks. He still hates Yeonjun’s guts. He was going to make Yeonjun regret ever thinking he could mess with him. 

Of course anyone would easily get attached to Beomgyu. He was just that charming. Of course Yeonjun would fall for him, anyone would. 

“For the fifth time Beomgyu, you’re supposed to smile at the customers and not me.” 

Oh right. Beomgyu was working today. 

At the ice cream parlor. 

This morning Yeonjun had texted him at the early hour of 6 a.m. to inform him about their plan for today; the plan being letting Beomgyu do his work for him. 

Soobin had informed Yeonjun that he was sick today, so he couldn’t come to work and do his job. Yeonjun was supposed to fill in for him and handle the major responsibilities of running the store for a while, but doing that and cashiering would certainly be a challenge, so that’s why he had dragged poor Beomgyu here.

He says dragged, because that’s literally what Yeonjun had to do to get Beomgyu to come. 

Choi Yeonjun was enjoying bothering Beomgyu, and he wasn’t even hiding it judging by the satisfied smirk he had on his face. 

“Self centered asshole, I wasn’t smiling at you! I just had an exciting thought.” 

“By exciting you mean being with me today? Beomgyu you shouldn’t have—“ 

“Exciting as in I’d love to see everyone’s reaction here when I tackle you to the ground.” Beomgyu says as he puts Yeonjun into a headlock, pink hair now in the crook of his arm. 

This was how his conversations with Yeonjun had been going these past days. They’d bicker, tease, and annoy each other. He’d gotten used to it by now, and anything other than this would make him suspicious if he’s being honest. 

Yeonjun brought Beomgyu to work for a day with the excuse of letting Beomgyu collect ‘work experience’ which he definitely did not need at this time. Soobin couldn’t even stop him from going along with this terrible idea because the blue haired guy was not here, leaving Yeonjun in charge. 

Yeonjun had initially thought that this would lesson his work, allowing him to have more time to relax and possibly get off work earlier if he was able to get Beomgyu to help close up the store. 

However Yeonjun should have seen this coming. Of course Beomgyu was going to make things harder. Like what he was doing right now. 

“No offense miss, but I think that giving your child over there mint choco is equivalent of telling them to brush their teeth. Are you sure you want to take a whole tub of this home?” 

“ _Excuse me?_ ”

“No I take that back it’s actually gross, but that’ll be 8000 won.”

Yeonjun rubbed the temple of his forehead in frustration. How could one not have any common sense whatsoever? Beomgyu was going to make a bad name for the parlor and surely Soobin would not be happy about this. 

But Soobin doesn’t have to know. Guess Yeonjun will have to blame it on himself if anything doesn’t go well. 

“Beomgyu, how about let’s get you out from behind the counter, yeah? Go restock the freezer or something.” 

“But this is so fun! I love pissing off the customers and judging their bad taste.“

“You are going to get me fired if my boss finds out. Let’s not cause trouble?” 

Beomgyu finds Yeonjun so boring today. 

— 

The constant chiming of the door bells comes to an end, a sign that it’s finally closing hours and they can all head home. Beomgyu certainly didn’t expect Yeonjun to keep him working for the whole day, but here they were. It was even past working hours, and Beomgyu thinks he deserves to get paid. 

The brown-haired did not know that standing all day would be this tiring, and this makes him miss the comfort of his bed even more. He would like to think that he contributed to some help and that he was useful, but perhaps he should ask Yeonjun that, seeing as he looked absolutely worn out. 

“Hey, you should hire me.” Beomgyu smiles proudly, pleased with his own work. He thinks he’d look good in that pink apron that everyone working here supposedly has to wear. 

“No way in hell I’m doing that. I think we’ll actually now lose a few of our regular customers thanks to you. Did you really have to argue with everyone who ordered mint? What’s your problem?” 

Beomgyu covers a hand to his mouth in shock, eyes widening, “No way. Choi Yeonjun, you like mint choco too? God made you too flawed…” He shakes his head disapprovingly and chokes a fake sob, which earns a very confused look from the older.

“It’s literally just a flavor—“

“Enough. I do not want to hear anything coming from a tasteless mint choco lover.”

After their pointless banter that seemed to be going nowhere, Yeonjun finally finishes double checking everything and turns off the lights, ready to close the place for today.

Until Beomgyu stops him just before heading out, looking at him with a sheepish look. 

“Actually, I’m hungry. Can we have something before we go?” 

The two leave the store, both with their cones of ice cream in their hands that Yeonjun had made for them before leaving. 

It was a cool spring night here in the city of Seoul. The air wasn’t cold enough to make you freeze, but just enough to make you notice when there’s warmth next to you. 

The warmth he meant here was in the form of Yeonjun walking alongside him, the both of them heading their way home since they lived in the same building. 

Beomgyu regrets not persuading Yeonjun that getting a bus would be a better option, but the guy was set on walking with Beomgyu home. 

Stupid Yeonjun. 

The cold was slowly getting to him however, the tip of his nose and fingers starting to feel numb, and the ice cream he was holding did not help either. Beomgyu thinks he has to get used to the fact that Seoul is colder than Daegu, and he’ll need to start bringing warm gloves if he’s going to stay out this late. 

He needed to get used to a lot about Seoul, in fact. This is why Yeonjun had suggested that they take a mini sight-seeing tour of their area while they were walking back. 

Seoul is alive even at this cold time of night. The more he walked the more people he heard, the more lights he saw, the more cars passed by. The city never sleeps, does it? 

The faint smell of street food, the chattering from people in the background, the cold gently nipping at his skin, the leaves slowly starting to grow again, and soon the flowers would bloom. Beomgyu could romanticize everything, a life in which would seem like a scene from a movie. 

But Beomgyu knew better than to do that, so he exhales a deep breath and continues eating his ice cream even though it was painfully icy against his tongue. 

The two were walking at a slow pace, and his legs were starting to hurt from both the walking and the cold, so Beomgyu suggests that they both sit down for a moment while they finish off their treats. 

“Shouldn’t we just walk even faster if you’re cold? Or should we just get a bus here— oh look a bus stop.” 

And so they both sit down next to each other, one hand in their pockets and the other on their cones, as they both stared ahead into the dark night. 

It’s amazing how the sky changes colors so fast. He was sure there was still a hint of purple and blues mixed into the palette a couple of minutes ago, but now it was just pitch black, minus a few stars decorating the sky. 

He could get stuck here, just staring at how everything seemed so whole. 

He was going to doze off for a bit however, if it weren’t for the unpleasant smell hitting his nose, interrupting him from doing so. Beomgyu glares at Yeonjun and his green ice cream, eyes very obviously judging his choice of flavor. 

“I just know your breath must stink. Why else would anyone willingly have that?” He scrunches his nose in disgusts, as he turns away and laps at his own sugary strawberry ice cream.

Yeonjun looks at his direction with a bewildered face. Even though having worked at an ice cream parlor for about a year, he has never seen anyone so repulsed by the idea of just a flavor. 

“Not sure actually, wanna check for me?” Yeonjun suddenly holds onto the back Beomgyu’s neck, leaning in so that their faces are only inches apart. Beomgyu could feel the sudden warmth spreading in him, despite Yeonjun’s hand being icy cold against his bare skin. 

Yeonjun stays there for a while, taking in the close proximity of it all and Beomgyu’s expression. He looked so _flustered_ , teasing him is always so fun when you know how easy it is to provoke him. 

Their breaths almost touched, dancing on the thin line that separated the two. Until Yeonjun decides to blow lightly into his face, the cold minty breath catching Beomgyu off guard. 

Yeonjun just smiled and chuckled softly at earning the reaction he wanted, still observing Beomgyu’s features and now very tense posture with his eyes closed tightly. 

Since Beomgyu already had his eyes shut anyway, Yeonjun decided to go a little further with flustering the smaller by wiping off some of his ice cream and smearing it on Beomgyu’s nose, making him shoot his eyes open at the cold and sticky sensation. 

“I swear to God, Choi Yeonjun! Do you have a death wish? Come here!” Beomgyu latches onto the older’s arm as he’s trying to scurry away, getting a finger-full of his pink ice cream and smudging it all over his cheeks, causing him to shriek and get up.

Beomgyu just shrugs and avoids eye contact, like he did absolutely nothing. 

Just then the bus arrives just in time before they can start attacking each other even more, making them put all their mischief aside and get on their way home. 

“Have you always been this annoying, Beomgyu?” Yeonjun asks a lighthearted question as they both take a seat at the back of the bus. 

“Dunno. Apparently I had an accident when I was young and hit my head, so I don’t really remember anything below the age of eight.” 

Yeonjun is not sure if he should’ve asked that or not. He was hoping that the question didn’t bring up any unwanted memories. But judging by Beomgyu’s face, he didn’t seem to mind, so he moved on with the thought. “Well I’m sure you were.” 

Yeonjun envies Beomgyu for not being able to remember. He wishes he wasn’t able to constantly be reminded every now and then about what unfortunate events had happened in the past, especially that one. Maybe then he would be less affected by everything. Maybe then he would be able to move on and continue living his life without holding back. 

“Why, thank you. You are very annoying yourself as well.” 

And with that they stay silent for the rest of the ride, with matching cold ice cream smeared on their faces and sticky fingers.


	5. captivated (by all things pretty)

After a long day of what felt like an eternity just sitting down and taking notes, Beomgyu was finally free from the hell-hole that is college. 

He has a huge pile of work and assignments waiting to be finished when he arrives home, however today was not one of those days that he was going to dwell on his responsibilities. He was planning to let all his stress out today. 

Beomgyu was going to hang out with Taehyun at the arcade this evening. 

They had arranged this plan quiet a while ago, and today was finally the day they were going to go along with it. He always enjoyed hanging out with Taehyun, especially when playing games. It’s always fun to compete with someone who’s more on the same level as you, since it becomes more intense that way. Whenever he played games with Kai, it would always end with him just letting his friend win by purposely not giving it his all. Kai wasn’t the biggest fan of winning. He wasn’t very competitive, so he didn’t enjoy his victories much either. 

This was why Taehyun was the perfect buddy for today’s adventure. 

He had called up the other just to confirm that they were indeed going, and that they should meet up in about five minutes. 

Beomgyu headed to the front gate so he could wait for Taehyun there, now just scrolling through his phone to pass the time. 

That was until he had received a text. 

‘yo yo yo’  
‘BG look behind you’ 

Beomgyu didn’t even have to check who it was from to know who sent him this. Only one person ever calls him BG. 

Despite it just being a simple text message, it sent a chill down his spine. Why would Yeonjun be here? How could Yeonjun be here? He’s sure he’s never told the guy what college he goes to, so the odds of him actually being here were slim. 

He turned around out of curiosity, and much too his surprise was Yeonjun actually there. 

‘Yooo, BG!” Yeonjun tilts his head and sends him a wave, sounding strangely very enthusiastic as he approaches him.

It was regular old Yeonjun, except he realizes that there was nothing really regular about him. Like right now where he was way too dressed up for being in a school environment. He was wearing a black blazer over a black turtleneck, the statement piece of his outfit being the bright red pants that he was wearing. 

A very bold shade of red, he notes. You wouldn’t wear those pants unless you were super confident and wanted to draw attention, or you were cosplaying a clown. 

He would like to poke fun and call him out for it, however he couldn’t deny that Yeonjun did look good. Yeonjun looked amazing. Apparently he wasn’t the only one who thought that either because he could hear a couple of whispers and giggling coming from the group of girls behind him. 

“You can stare but maybe make it less obvious, little guy.” Yeonjun says while running a hand through his hair. Surely that was the reaction he had wanted, and Beomgyu hated the idea of him boosting the older’s already out-the-roof ego. 

He tried to ignore the comment by changing the subject, “How’d you get here?” 

“Duh, I’ve been stalking you.” 

Beomgyu feels like he should panic. He knew Yeonjun had evil intentions, but he didn’t know he was also insane. This was an invasion of privacy, and perhaps he should consider calling the cops. 

“Oh my god I’m kidding. Why would you actually believe that?” Yeonjun adds after the silence had gone on for longer than he had intended. The concerned face and raised brow on Beomgyu making him chuckle. 

He continues, “You’re cute, but I’m not obsessed with you. And that’s creepy and gross. You told me you were in college and you just moved in, why else would you move here if the college wasn’t close to where you lived? It was easy to guess really. Also I used to go here.” Yeonjun explained, which made Beomgyu relax a bit.

_Wait. Did Yeonjun just call him cute?_

He’s not sure whether he should bring it up and use that against him or not, and he’s not sure whether that meant that his plan was already slowly working or not. Beomgyu isn’t sure about these things. 

But he was sure that his heart just fluttered a little, just a little. Damn him and his fragile heart. 

“Okay, maybe you’re not as dumb as you look.” Beomgyu scoffs, “Why are you here, though?” He narrows his eyes suspiciously at the other, not quite able to read him with the poker face Yeonjun has put on. 

Until Yeonjun starts smiling, or more like a mischievous smirk. He leans in to boop the smaller’s nose. 

“I’m glad you asked.” 

—

Some plans can be put on hold. 

But what Yeonjun had in store for today was not one of those plans. The pink-haired has practically begged Beomgyu into agreeing to come with him. 

“Come on! I thought this was part of our deal! I pick the places, and you come to learn and collect experience or whatever.” He whined. It seemed like Beomgyu didn’t really have a choice. 

And so Beomgyu had to take a rain check on going to the arcade with Taehyun. He quickly texts his friend an apology and says he’ll make it up to him another day. Hopefully Taehyun wouldn’t mind too much. He’ll probably make it up to him by treating him to coffee, something that Taehyun had said he enjoyed a lot these days due to his ‘maturing taste buds’. 

This special plan Yeonjun had prepared involved Beomgyu having to go get changed into something more suitable for the place they were going to, in which the older insisted on driving him home so he could do that. 

Yeonjun had told Beomgyu to tag along with him to a party where a few of his friends from college were hosting.

“You don’t go to college, how come you know about this college party?”

“I just dropped out, I didn’t stop being friends with the fun ones. And besides, they invited me.” Yeonjun says as his eyes are still on the road, driving them to their apartment complex 

“Fair enough. But give me one more reason I should go.” 

“We can dance together?” 

“Ew, you’re going to be all drunk and wild I can tell already! I am not convinced.” He said he wasn’t convinced but here he was, in Yeonjun’s car, on his way to what will be his first ever college party. 

When they get to Beomgyu’s place, which isn't far from Yeonjun’s at all from what he has established before, he suggests that Yeonjun comes in and just waits outside of his room while he gets ready. 

Beomgyu wishes he didn’t do that however, because now he feels as if he’s being pressured to hurry up and not keep the other waiting. 

And he’s not the fastest when it comes to picking outfits. He has to really think about these things, especially if he wants to impress people. 

And he does, Beomgyu wants to shine. He wants to make a good first impression on people, possibly catching a few strangers’ attention. He also didn’t want to look like a complete loser next to Yeonjun. He was not going to embarrass himself by wearing something hideous tonight. 

This was going to be a night of letting loose, letting go of all his stress and worries. Today he was just going to be Beomgyu, no longer holding onto any responsibilities of a typical college student. Tonight Beomgyu was just going to have fun. 

He was excited, but he was also taking too long. He had a lot of clothes, but at this moment his closet just looked like a jumbled mess. This was probably because his mind was also a mess as he wasn’t really in a collected state right now. 

He could call out to Yeonjun to get him to help, but that would ruin his pride. He did not want Yeonjun’s help and judgement out of all people. So he throws himself onto the bed, curling up and closing his eyes for a brief moment so he can visualize a look he can go for. 

He wanted something that was comfortable enough, but still fashionable, so all his hoodies and T-shirts were out of consideration. Apparently Yeonjun said that his friends had rented a bar nearby for the night, so he couldn’t just throw something in mindlessly. 

Yeonjun also said he shouldn’t attract too much attention because his wasn’t the kind of party for that, so all his sparkly tops weren’t an option either. He didn’t want to look like he was trying too hard, so he did have to tone it down. Not everyone can pull off the bold looks like Yeonjun can. 

He gets up and rummages through his closet for a bit until he finds something that catches his eye, a loose dark blue silk button up. This is what he was looking for. So he grabs it and a pair of black skinny jeans and goes to change. 

As he looks at himself in the mirror, he decides to wear a pretty choker and a few earrings so his outfit doesn’t look too plain. After about 20 minutes he can finally say that he is satisfied with his look so he steps out to go tell Yeonjun he’s done. 

“What took you so long— oh you look good.” 

“Oh. Uh, thank you?” Beomgyu didn’t mean it to sound like a question. He too knew that he looked good, it’s just that hearing it from someone else felt different, especially coming from Yeonjun. Maybe it also felt different because the older still had his eyes on him, scanning him with him eyes from head to toe. 

The gaze felt heavy on him. Has his face always felt this warm?

“I think you’d look even better with makeup, actually. Wanna give it a try?” Yeonjun picks up a little pouch and hands it over to him. The inside of it filled with various beauty products he had brought with him on his way here. 

“I don’t know how to apply it, though.” Beomgyu has seen a lot of tutorials online, and he saw his mom doing it a lot growing up too, but it always fascinated him how these people did it so effortlessly. There is always something attractive about someone who knows they are attractive, and makeup helps some people realize that. 

Yeonjun looks like he half expected this to be the case, “No problem, you sit there and I’ll help you.” 

“Huh—“ Beomgyu gets cut off when Yeonjun is already sitting him down on a stool, tilting his face so he’s now looking up at him. 

This is when Beomgyu notices that Yeonjun has presumably done his own makeup as well, very nicely in fact. It wasn’t that noticeable from a distance, but now that he’s this close, staring up at him like this, he notices it all too clearly. The corner of his eye was slightly dark, making his eyes look deeper. Right under his eye was a bit of glitter, very visible now that it was under the light. 

His lips were also very pink, glistening from what he can guess is the lip balm. 

Has he ever mentioned that Yeonjun had nice lips? He wasn’t going to tell that to the guy in his face, but he could silently admit it to himself. 

And yeah, Yeonjun has nice lips. 

And yeah, Yeonjun could also tell Beomgyu was staring at his lips. 

So the older just laughs softly, not wanting to be too loud due to the close proximity. It echoed in Beomgyu’s ear, causing him to tear his gaze away from the other’s parted mouth. 

“Close your eyes.” Yeonjun orders so he can apply the eyeshadow easier, brush dabbing the corner of his eye gently. The brush moves swiftly across his eyelid and then moves to the other side. He’s not really sure what Yeonjun is doing to his face, for all he knows he could be writing something stupid on it, but he’ll trust him on this one for once. 

Then he feels a slight brush against his cheek. He guesses that’s the blush he’s applying. 

He then feels a touch on his bottom lip, ever so soft, like it’s barely there. Beomgyu made the terrible decision of peeking his eyes open a little however, because as soon as he opened his eyes he simply could not breathe. How could he breathe when Yeonjun was that close to him? One of his hands was holding onto his shoulder, while the other was gently brushing over his lip with his finger. 

He’s not sure if it’s taking way too long just to apply this or Yeonjun is purposely messing with him. But if it meant being in this position, being able to look up at him like this, then maybe he didn’t mind. 

He knows he should mind. He knows he should find this somewhat uncomfortable. It shouldn’t feel this right. Beomgyu knows a lot of things, but he’s not much on a thinker so he just brushes everything off. He told himself he was going to have fun and enjoy himself tonight, might as well enjoy being this close to pretty-boy with the nice lips. 

What was supposed to be a quick peek, turned into the smaller blatantly staring at him. Eyes open and round, now to top it off with nicely done glittery makeup. 

He shouldn’t get used to being this close to Yeonjun. 

If he did, it would certainly not end well. 

Just in time to cut him out of his trance, Yeonjun finally speaks up, “Done!” He puts the makeup back into his pouch and claps. “Did a pretty good job if I do say so myself. Have a look.” The pink-haired hands him a small mirror, making him see the finished look. Needless to say Beomgyu was very impressed. He did look better with the makeup, and it suited his silk top perfectly. 

He thanks the guy, impressed with his work. Apparently Yeonjun had a lot of skills that he was going to gradually get to know about. He could learn a lot from Yeonjun. 

And he now had 37 days left to find out and learn about these things. 

After that they checked their things and belongings, not forgetting to grab the essentials, then they were ready to head out. 

This was going to be a long night. 

— 

The car ride to the party is silent. Not a word was said between the two ever since they had hopped in. 

The silence didn’t help Beomgyu’s clouded mind at all. 

It was going to be hard to get such a sight out of his mind. Yeonjun’s face only a few inches away from his own, the soft tip of his finger gliding across his lip, the small breaths he could hear from the other reminding him that this was not all in his imagination. Even with his eyes closed, the thought of Yeonjun’s gaze piercing through him caused him to burn up. 

He mentally cursed himself for picturing the scene in his mind again, causing him to feel all sorts of things that he should be forbidden from feeling towards the guy. With the urge to push back his thoughts he decides to break this silence, 

“This will be my first party as a college student.” His voice came out sounding smaller than he would’ve liked, but he’ll brush it off. 

Beomgyu had been to little parties and events here and there before, but that was all when he was a high schooler. Back then he would only go if Kai was also coming, so this will also be the first time that he’s going to a party without his best friend next to him.

He would be lying if he said that he didn’t miss his presence. It was always reassuring, knowing that someone always had your back. They would always be there for each other just in time to prevent either one of them causing any trouble. 

He would also be lying if he said that he wasn’t nervous at all. He looks down at his fidgeting fingers, tugging at his shirt as he bites his lip. He probably won’t know anyone at this party, so that’s a shame. Maybe he should’ve asked Kai to come with him just so his presence alone would be able to calm him, or maybe even Taehyun. 

“Oh? It’ll be fun then. I’ll stick with you so you don’t feel lonely or do anything stupid.” Yeonjun assured him. 

However Beomgyu didn’t feel so good hearing this. Sure, he found it quite sweet that the older offered to do so, but he also didn’t want him to hold back on any fun. Yeonjun was the one who invited him to tag along, but he wasn’t obligated to monitor him throughout their whole time spent there. 

“It’s fine,” Beomgyu let out a breathy laugh. “I’m nineteen, not a kid. I don’t need you to baby-sit me. You can hang out with your friends.” He sent a reassuring thumbs-up to Yeonjun’s direction, despite him not being able to see it since he was driving. 

“You sure?” Yeonjun teared his eyes away from the road ahead for a brief moment so he could look at Beomgyu, making sure there wasn’t any hint of sarcasm or worry on his face. The younger nods, confirming that he means what he said, “I’ll be fine! This is my chance to make more friends, anyway. I’ll probably know more people than you by the time we leave this place.” 

Yeonjun smiles, looking back at the road. Perhaps Beomgyu was going to be fine. He had nothing to worry about. 

When they arrived, Beomgyu was instantly met with the sound of music much too loud for his liking. The sound echoed throughout his whole body, causing the beating of his heart to sync with the rhythm of the unknown tune. The place is tinted a blue-ish purple, the smell of alcohol tickling his nose. 

Yeonjun noticed the slight discomfort shift to Beomgyu’s face, and so he leaned in closer and tells him, “We can go home anytime you want to, okay? If you want to leave just text me.” In which Beomgyu just smiles and hums as a response. 

Yeonjun insists that they can’t spend their time here completely sober, so they head to the bar section and order a few shots and hang there for a little. 

“Ugh!” Beomgyu groans in disgust, his nose scrunching, “God, that tastes like shit. Why do people even drink that?” 

“I guess some people like the taste of shit.” Yeonjun says as he tilts his head back and downs his second shot, the liquor prickling down his throat. 

“That’s gross.” 

“No but seriously, it’s not that people like the taste, it’s more of the feeling. If you have just the right amount then it feels nice.” Yeonjun explains as he wipes his lips with the back of his hand, handing Beomgyu another shot. “Just be sure you don’t overdo it. Do you know how much you can handle?” 

“I mean, I just hit the legal drinking age this year so I haven’t had enough to know my alcohol tolerance yet. I’d like to think I can handle my fair share, though.” He says as he reaches for the little glass in Yeonjun’s hand, only for it to be taken away by the taller. 

Yeonjun moves it away, “Oh no you don’t. One shot is enough for you right now, young man. Hold back.” Yeonjun looks over to the now pouting guy who is also glaring at him. Beomgyu whines, “I’ll be fine! How else will I know how much I can take if I don’t test my limits!” The smaller manages to snatch the glass and downs it right away, the alcohol instantly coating his mouth. 

“Beomgyu— let’s slow down, yeah? We still have the whole night, no need to rush.” Yeonjun was slightly worried, not quite sure if he should really leave him unsupervised or not. He didn’t want to turn away only to return to a drunken Beomgyu. Yeonjun decides that he’ll have to stay sober for the rest of the night in order to be able to check up on Beomgyu every now and then. 

Beomgyu pats Yeonjun’s shoulder a few times, “Mkay! I’ll be fine! You go have fun or whatever, I have my friends to make!” 

Just on cue, what looks like Yeonjun’s friends show up at where the two are seated, instantly greeting him. 

“Yooo Is that Jun?“ A figure comes up to Yeonjun, “You’re late, by the way.” 

“Sorry,” Yeonjun laughs sheepishly, “I had to bring my friend here with me, we took a bit longer than I thought we would.” 

The mention of the latter causes the guy to look over to his direction, now paying attention to Beomgyu’s presence. “Oh, hey. I’m Changbin, Yeonjun’s college friend that he abandoned— Ouch!” Yeonjun pinches his friend’s arm, making him yelp and rub the hurt area. 

“I didn’t abandon you, I just ran away from my responsibilities!” 

Changbin turns to tell Beomgyu, “See, Choi Yeonjun’s calling me a responsibility.” He scoffs, “This man is no good.” The man says as he shakes his head disapprovingly, causing Yeonjun to lightly kick him in the leg. 

“On second thought, gonna abandon you right now,”. Yeonjun says as he’s getting up from his seat, “Goodbye, Seo Changbin!” 

He was about to get up and leave jokingly, however he remembered that Beomgyu was still sitting there next to him. He didn’t really want to leave him alone if he’s being honest. 

As if Beomgyu has read his mind, he nods reassuringly, indicating that it was okay for Yeonjun to go and catch up with his friend. 

Although hesitant at first, Yeonjun does eventually end up leaving, not forgetting to ask the bartender for a favor in making sure that Beomgyu doesn’t get himself completely wasted. 

And so Beomgyu was now alone, left with his own thoughts begging to be heard over the loud music. His mind felt foggy, probably a side effect of downing the drink too fast in one swig. 

His head did ache a little, overwhelmed by the whole of it all. He wasn’t used to crowded places, however he guesses this is what he had signed up for when he decided to move to Seoul; the city that’s seemingly always alive and vibrant. 

He wanted to get used to this. He wanted to loosen up and simply just enjoy the night, so he decides to fully take in his environment for the first time. He notices everything all too well now that the little bit of alcohol has finally kicked in, making him hyper aware of his surroundings. He noticed the smell of cologne mixed with sweat, the scent not hitting his nose right. He noticed that there were way too many voices screaming across the room, and he doesn’t understand why the people couldn’t just get up and stand closer to talk to each other.

Beomgyu also noticed that there was now someone occupying the seat next to him, her long wavy hair reaching about her waist. 

The girl turned to him, her eyebrows raising in surprise, “Beomgyu? Wow, it’s really you! Didn’t expect seeing you here.” 

Beomgyu was just as surprised. He also didn’t expect to find Chaeryeong in such a place, although now that he thinks about it, this kind of atmosphere did suit her. She was one of the more popular people in the dance department, after all. Socializing was second nature to her. 

“Me neither, you look great!” He says as he pays attention to her off-the-shoulder mini dress, displaying her collarbones beautifully. 

“Thank you. My girlfriend bought this for me.” She looks down at her dress, smiling. They must be happy together, Beomgyu presumes just by the fond tug of her lips.

They catch up for a while, their conversation feeling natural and comfortable. He hasn’t known her for that long, but they got along just fine. Their first crossing of paths was when Taehyun decided to introduce her to him during lunch, the two of them being close friends in the same class. 

He’s glad Chaeryeong showed up just in time before he was going to be bored out of his mind. She told him that she had come with her friends but they ditched her, so she’d be more than fine with keeping Beomgyu company. 

And so they chat over the noisy sound of music being played, however Beomgyu didn’t mind it so much anymore. 

He could get used to this. 

—

“And so I told her that being able to crack an apple open with her bare hands was not going to impress him, but she insisted on— Beomgyu you still with me?” Chaeryeong tried to get his attention by poking his arm slightly, only to find out that Beomgyu wasn’t even looking at her direction. 

How could Beomgyu, when he had never been so captivated by a sight before? 

The dance floor was crowded, way too many bodies pushed up together, but somehow the only thing Beomgyu could see was a certain pink haired man. 

_Yeonjun._

Yeonjun, who was dancing ever so effortlessly, body moving along with the beat and rhythm in such a charismatic way. 

Yeonjun, who was now tilting his head back and closing his eyes, allowing the music to flow through him like water in a stream.

Yeonjun, who looked so in his element, nothing would seem as natural as this. Perhaps Yeonjun was meant to shine even in the darkest of nights, like this. The purple light reflected on him, casting a shadow of a silhouette that he would even dare to call as beautiful as a painting itself. 

Yeonjun, who could make even the messiest of surroundings look absolutely breathtaking. 

Yeonjun, who made him realize that his heart was now beating at an abnormal rate that anyone would find alarming.

Yeonjun, who was an amazing dancer. He had learned that tonight. Truly a man with many talents he is. 

Beomgyu admired him. 

_How can one be good in so many aspects?_

And had Yeonjun always been this attractive? Has his cheeks always felt this warm? Has his heart ever raced this fast? 

This was definitely caused by the alcohol.

His eyes were glued to the scene in front of him, attracting all of his attention. 

Beomgyu thinks such a sight deserves it, so he keeps looking at the way Yeonjun is now becoming one with the music.

“Beomgyu? You okay— wait he’s good.” Chaeryeong says as she follows his gaze, which landed on a guy with bright pink hair dancing in the middle of the room, not a care in the world. 

“Chae?” He calls out to her although his eyes are still unmoving. He couldn’t even hear the music at this point, “What do I do if I think I’m about to have some really stupid thoughts?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I just think that,” Beomgyu pauses for a moment while he tries to think of a way to phrase it, “I’m going to fall.” 

The vague choice of words causes Chaeryeong to quirk a brow, not quite understanding. “I don’t think you’ve had much to drink yet, though? Do you feel tipsy already?” She turns to Beomgyu and holds onto both of his shoulders, making sure he doesn’t accidentally tip over. “Even if you do fall, it can’t possibly hurt. You’re not that far off the ground, Beomgyu.” She shrugs, pointing to the floor where Beomgyu’s feet are still indeed touching. 

“You think so?” Beomgyu hums, as he’s now smiling while looking at Yeonjun. His heartbeat fastens even further, a small warmth bubbling inside the pit of his stomach. “And what if I fall too hard?” 

“You’re not talking about actually falling, are you?” Chaeryeong figures, “In that case, Beom you’ll be fine. Falling in love feels like a soft little pillow that hugs your heart—“ 

“What? It’s not love!” Beomgyu’s voice gets a little too loud and he loses balance, causing him to actually fall down from the stool he was seated on. The sudden impact made him yelp, now very awake from his previously dazed state. 

“Well, whatever just happened there certainly wasn’t love.” She talks about Beomgyu’s misfortunate event of now being on the ground and ends up laughing. “Love shouldn’t hurt you!” 

“God, ew. Just thinking about all this makes me wanna puke.” He makes a disgusted face and gets up, dusting himself off with his hands, “Let’s forget all this, where were we again?” 

Beomgyu says this, but it’s not as easy to forget and move on as he thinks it is. The image of Yeonjun while everything else is a blur is still very stuck in his head, just the thought of it alone making him dizzy.

“Actually,” Chaeryeong speaks up, “You look like you could use some help with clearing your mind.” She says half concerned and half amused with Beomgyu’s expression. He looks so zoned out. “How about we play a little game?” 

Not really knowing what she meant by that, he just nodded. He’d take anything that could clear his head right now. Even if the game she was talking about was in the form of two bottles of soju being ordered with an excited grin plastered on her face. 

Anything to help him forget and stop thinking about a certain someone.

—

Someone should’ve warned Beomgyu that consuming two whole bottles of soju in one sitting for your first actual consumption of alcohol was not a good idea in any way. 

But he couldn’t help it when the sensation and affect was exactly what he needed. Yeonjun was right when he said that people drink for the feeling and not the taste. The prickling he felt in his throat with his first few swigs was no longer there, now just leaving a bitter warmth coating his tongue. 

He liked how he couldn’t tell if the burning sensation that was causing his face to turn red was because of the alcohol, or because Yeonjun was now walking up to him with an expression he couldn’t really read. He wasn’t sure which was more intoxicating at this point. The alcohol, or Choi Yeonjun? 

It was probably the alcohol. Beomgyu guesses this is what it feels like to be drunk. 

If he had to make another guess, it would be that maybe Yeonjun was concerned, the older’s eyebrows knitting with a serious look in his eyes. 

But he couldn’t be bothered to react. He’d rather continue his little nap, his arms and chin resting on top of Chaeryeong’s head, who was apparently fast asleep and drooling. 

However now that Yeonjun was grabbing his wrist, he had suddenly become more alive and awake than he had been this whole night, despite last night only getting three hours of sleep and the heavy amount that he had just consumed. The skin burned where Yeonjun touched, causing an electric feeling to run up his whole body. 

That was probably due to the alcohol as well. Beomgyu’s not so sure if he likes it so much anymore. Perhaps the feeling is too foreign to what he was used to. 

“Beomgyu? Fuck, how much did you drink?” He doesn’t even need a reply to guess, the bottles upon bottles in front of the two almost passed out people was enough to say that the guy had drunk far beyond what Yeonjun thought he would. He knew that complete silence from Beomgyu meant no good, normally he’d be sending a few texts here and there just to annoy him. 

Yeonjun sighs, massaging the temple of his own forehead, “Get up, let’s get you home.” Yeonjun said sternly, but when he realizes Beomgyu won’t be able to get up himself he offers a hand, helping him up with a tight grip. 

Yeonjun curses to himself. He shouldn’t have trusted the bartender to look out for Beomgyu just because he asked him to. These people were already busy enough at a night like this, of course they weren’t going to pay special attention to someone out of kindness. He texts one of his friends to come over and watch over the sleeping girl to make sure she’s safe while Yeonjun attempts to take Beomgyu to the restroom so he can check up on his condition more clearly. 

It’s when his friend arrives that he can finally leave. Yeonjun supposes Beomgyu won’t be able to walk in this state so he decides to carry him on his back, now making them in a piggy-back position. 

As if the sudden weight wasn’t enough to make this a challenge, the small guy is making it even more incredibly difficult for him by giggling and kicking the sides of him with his feet. 

“Stop! ‘m not going! Wanna stay.” Beomgyu found it rather nice, being on Yeonjun’s back like this, so he didn’t mind it as much as he was acting like he did. 

“We can’t have you dozing off here, it’ll be much better at home, okay? Why did you have to drink that much?” The taller sounded concerned, not that Beomgyu could tell, though. He was too busy making himself comfortable, arms wrapped around Yeonjun’s neck. 

“You… it’s your fault! All your fault…” Beomgyu mumbled, voice barely audible. Technically Yeonjun was a part of the cause, but it’s not the guy’s fault that Beomgyu had absolutely no self control. 

“How is any of this my fault? And stop kicking me!” His grip around Beomgyu’s legs tightened. Keeping the smaller on his back was going to be a struggle judging by how he had refused to stay still, now moving around even more. 

However Yeonjun did feel slightly guilty. He knew leaving Beomgyu by himself would be risky, and he regrets how he took the risk. Now he had to deal with a childish Beomgyu on his back who was now screaming the lyrics to ‘Mary had a little lamb’ at the top of his lungs through the already loud music. 

Yeonjun thanks himself for staying sober. He wouldn’t know what to do if he weren’t. 

“Junie! Mr. Strawberry! Whatever the fuck your name is! Do you wanna hear a secret?” 

Beomgyu was definitely beyond drunk. His voice sounded slurred. The guy probably didn’t even know what he was saying or what he was about to say.

But whatever unfiltered thing drunken Beomgyu was going to say did have Yeonjun interested, so he hums as a response, signaling him to continue. 

“Shhh!” Beomgyu shushes, “Don’t tell anyone okay? It’s top secret!” 

“Mhm. Your promise is safe with Junie.” He cringes at his own nickname, but whatever he says or does tonight will probably be forgotten by Beomgyu when he wakes up tomorrow anyway, so any possible teases will be out of the question.

After hearing the reply, Beomgyu slowly inches towards the older’s ear. Yeonjun could feel his hot breath on his neck, making his body stiffen. Beomgyu reeked of soju, the smell now clear to him once the guy was this close. The wait for Beomgyu to say something went on for what felt like forever to Yeonjun, every second more causing his heart to beat gradually speed up out of anticipation. 

Yeonjun doesn’t know why, but he suddenly feels tense. His muscles tightened due to whatever reasons. 

This was until Beomgyu started blowing into his ear, the sudden cold tickling him and making him loosen up. He slightly wobbled, and apparently Beomgyu found messing with him hilarious so he started giggling, the laughter causing vibrations to spread all over the broad of his back. 

The stalling finally came to an end and Beomgyu finally whispered his secret into his ear, “You dance really well. You’re so cool.” In which he immediately continued giggling after the compliment. 

But Yeonjun didn’t have any room in his mind to be bothered by the giggles. He was too occupied by the sudden confession repeating in his head over and over again. Beomgyu was watching? The thought of the other’s round eyes on him made him shyer than it should have, a sudden heat creeping up his face. 

Any other time someone had complimented him he’d be quick to acknowledge and take it. It’s not like he was new to hearing these things. He got them all the time, from close friends and strangers. 

But perhaps it was because this was Beomgyu’s first genuine compliment towards him. Perhaps that’s why he was letting it get to him a bit too much. Even though the latter wasn’t sober, it made it feel all the more honest. 

His brain had somehow short-circuited, making him drop his hold of Beomgyu. The guy he was holding let out a high pitched yelp before suddenly going silent as he fell flat on the floor. 

“Shit shit shit.” Yeonjun curses, he didn’t mean to drop him like that. He quickly ducked down to check if he was okay or not, but all he heard was soft breathing. 

Okay. So Beomgyu was now knocked out unconscious. Just great. _Good going Yeonjun._

He apologizes to the little man on the floor even though he can’t hear him and scoops him up, now holding onto his whole body with his full arm strength. 

Yeonjun sighs. He should be more careful and fragile with Beomgyu. And he should probably work out more. 

Seeming like he has no other choice, he carries Beomgyu and sits him nicely in his car and drives the both of them home. 

Yeonjun is thankful that he remembers what room Beomgyu stays at. Having a good memory has its perks. 

Carrying the guy in his arms, Yeonjun had successfully brought Beomgyu home, except now he doesn’t quite know what to do. He hits his own head in annoyance, thinking he should’ve definitely thought about this while they were in the car. 

However he does know that he has to put Beomgyu down somewhere. Beomgyu wasn’t heavy, but carrying anything for that long was bound to be a pain. 

So Yeonjun carries him over to the couch in the living room, which is thankfully big enough for the younger to be able to lie down comfortably. It feels wrong to just watch over him like this with there just being the two of them, since they don’t have that kind of relationship yet and Yeonjun doesn’t know how Beomgyu would feel about the whole thing. 

After laying him down, Yeonjun suddenly has the genius idea of using Beomgyu’s phone to call up whoever’s number the guy had contacted last so that he can ask them to come over and take care of him if they’re free. 

When he opens the phone, much to his surprise there’s not a password set, so he’ll have no problem with finding a number to dial. 

What also caught him by surprise was however the fact that he found himself smiling at Beomgyu’s wallpaper. 

It was still the same picture of him from that day at the amusement park, his own face greeting him through the screen. Apparently Beomgyu had still kept the picture, even though he had no reason to. Despite finding his face looking absolutely hideous in the picture, he couldn’t help but find it endearing how Beomgyu hasn’t changed it or didn’t want to change it. 

Beomgyu could’ve just forgotten about it for all he knows, but he’ll choose to believe what he wants to. Yeonjun didn’t need to know the actual reason behind it.

Pulling himself together, he continues with his task of getting Beomgyu in safe hands, so he presses the first number he sees. 

He hoped he wasn’t going to accidentally contact someone like his college enemy or something, which wouldn’t be that unlikely judging by Beomgyu's mischievous nature. 

“ _Gyu? You’re okay, right? Why didn’t you pick up?_ ”

When he heard that the voice on the other line sounded even more worried than he was, he felt a sense of relief wash over him. This person obviously cares about the well-being of Beomgyu. He would be in good hands.

“Hello, Taehyun?” Yeonjun makes a guess that that’s their name based on what Beomgyu had saved their contact as, “So there’s been a situation, can you come over to Beomgyu’s place to watch over him right now? I don’t think it’ll be the best idea if I stay here.” 

“Sorry, who are you? And where the fuck is Beomgyu—“ 

“Calm down,” Yeonjun guesses he shouldn’t have said that because he would have been just as panicked in this situation if he were on the other line, “I promise I’m not a weirdo, or else I wouldn’t have called you to come here to assure his safety. Can you just get here? Beomgyu’s drunk and I think he’s passed out, it’ll take him quite a while before he sobers up.” 

Yeonjun tries to explain as calmly as possible, although he doesn’t feel too relaxed himself. If this person said no then he wouldn’t have any choice but to stay over with Beomgyu, and he really thinks he shouldn’t do that. 

It’s not that he finds the idea disgusting, it’s just that it would be better for the both of them. 

“What do you mean he’s passed out? From alcohol poisoning? He’s not dead right—“ 

“He fell. Well, more like I dropped him.” 

“When I get there you have some explaining to do. Lay another finger on him and I’m chopping them off with a kitchen knife.” 

_That was aggressive._ Yeonjun thinks he could actually mean it judging by the threatening tone of voice. Whoever Taehyun is, he seemed intimidating. 

“Just, give me his address. Now.” And with that Yeonjun hangs up and texts him the location just as soon as he heard the command, in which Taehyun replied saying he should be there in ten minutes. 

Now Yeonjun could relax a little, feeling reassured that someone will be on their way soon. 

He turns to the person lying down on the couch, sleeping peacefully. 

At least he hopes Beomgyu’s sleeping. He sure is a deep sleeper. 

Yeonjun could tell that he is a deep sleeper because now as he’s leaning in to get a better look of his face, slightly jogging the couch in the process, Beomgyu is not even showing the slightest sign of being bothered by it. 

Beomgyu had always looked pretty to him. He’s always had an eye for pretty things, and Beomgyu was just pleasant to look at. 

But somehow looking at him always felt different to Yeonjun, too. He doesn’t know how to put his finger on it or describe it in proper words, but there’s just something about Beomgyu that’s always new every time you look at him. 

Even like this. Even as his mouth is partly open, even as his hair is a mess, even as his forehead is slightly damp, even as he reeks of alcohol, even as his long eyelashes are against his cheeks that are flushed a rosy red. 

Beomgyu always had new aspects that he was going to slowly discover, 

and slowly find pretty as well. 

Slowly, _but oh so surely._

He wonders for a brief moment if Beomgyu ever found him pretty too. 

Like how he found Beomgyu the most stunning tonight. The night truly does bring out the beauty in everyone. 

But of course, Beomgyu felt different. Always has, ever since that box of spilt strawberry milk. 

While observing his sleeping state, Yeonjun comes to a conclusion that he didn’t like seeing a troubled Beomgyu. The smaller now had his eyes closed a little too tightly, furrowing his eyebrows in the process. 

Beomgyu was sweating. His skin felt warm, but he was also shivering. 

Yeonjun comes to a conclusion that a troubled looking Beomgyu meant a troubled Yeonjun as well, now panically searching the internet for what to do in such a situation. 

He decides that he should put the air conditioner on, but also grab a thick blanket, since that seems to make sense. 

So he gets up, but as he was just about to search around Beomgyu’s room for a blanket, he feels a warm hold on his wrist. 

“ _Stay_. Just for a bit.” 

Yeonjun stiffens. That had brought back some things he did not want to remember. 

Yeonjun does agree that having a good memory comes with its perks. He believes that. That’s of course true. 

But there are a few things in his life he wishes he could forget. He just thinks that remembering too much can be a burden, holding you back from a lot of things. 

Dwelling on too many unnecessary things is never ideal. If only it was easy to move on, and just simply forget that anything happened, he just thinks he’d be more at peace 

People who don’t think, people who don’t remember, they’re the happiest people, Yeonjun thinks. 

A person who thinks too much, remembers too much, regrets too much, and feels too much. This is not someone he would like to be, but sadly is. 

He’s always the only one holding onto things, only for it to crumble in his very own hands, slowly crumbling him too in the process. 

It is a burden, remembering and holding onto something that no one now remembers. 

“Yeonjun?” 

The raspy, weak sound coming from Beomgyu wakes him out of his headspace and causes him to pay him his full attention again, reminding him that Beomgyu is still troubled. 

“Hm? But I can’t just sit here.” Beomgyu scrunches his nose in response, now wiggling around with his eyes still closed. 

“You can. You’re nice and warm.” The smaller latches onto him, rubbing his face onto his arm like a cat. Yeonjun was going to have a hard time escaping this one. 

“You’re gonna die if I don’t do something, kid. Let me at least get you some water.” 

And with that, Beomgyu lets out an annoyed groan but eventually lets go, allowing Yeonjun to go pour him a drink. 

Suddenly a loud knock on the door is heard, followed by a bunch of loud voices coming from the other side. 

Assuming it’s probably the person Yeonjun called over, he quickly runs to open the door, not wanting to hear another aggressive knock. 

“Choi Beomgyu! We’re here to rescue you!” That didn’t sound like the intimidating guy. 

Yeonjun realizes after a few seconds that apparently there were two of them, one small angry looking blonde that seems oddly familiar, and another panicked looking tall one. 

“Wait, _Mr. Strawberry_?” Said blonde’s eyes widen in what looks like confusion and shock. Yeonjun thinks he should be the one more confused. 

“Me?“

“Yeah, are you not that same guy from the ice cream place.” 

Yeonjun suddenly gets it. No wonder he found him familiar. That must be the same blonde from when he and Beomgyu met for the second time while he was at work. Maybe he paid too close attention to their table that day for him being able to even remember the man’s face. 

But he doesn’t want the blonde to recognize him, so he tries to play it off. 

“No?” 

“Oh okay.” Taehyun pushes past him and heads over to Beomgyu’s sleeping body, now almost falling off the couch. 

“And you’re leaving him on the edge here? You’re gonna let him fall again? You’re terrible.” He says as he gets the tall friend to help him put Beomgyu back up properly. 

“He wasn’t even asleep when I left him! You didn’t make it here in 10 minutes, by the way. Look who’s talking.” 

“Yeah, let’s really look who’s talking. I wonder how Beomgyu got to this state in the first place.” 

Now that left Yeonjun speechless, guilt slowly eating him up. It was kind of Yeonjun’s fault, but hearing someone else tell him that to his face that wasn’t himself or Beomgyu felt like a slap in the face. 

He deserves it. At least a bit. Perhaps a little punch. 

The small blonde glares his way, as the tall guy is observing Beomgyu’s condition. The both look like they had a handful. 

Yeonjun decides it’ll be best just to leave them to Beomgyu. Having two friends help him out seemed like a better option than having an unreliable person do it anyway.

So Yeonjun makes his exit, but not back to his own room, however. 

“You off work yet, Bin?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!! tell me ur thoughts <3
> 
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/st4rjunie)


	6. selfless (would love heal?)

“Hyung, blink twice if you need to throw up.” 

“He can’t blink if his eyes are already closed, Hyuka.” Taehyun goes to stand behind Kai who’s crouching down to Beomgyu’s level, rubbing soothing circles on his back to try and calm him down a bit. 

The taller turns around to face the blonde, looking at him with panicked eyes, “What do we do? I don’t know what to do! Do we wake him up? Oh my god he’s burning up.” 

Taehyun was worried about Beomgyu, he was his friend after all. But seeing Kai in this state worried him a tiny bit more. He’s never seen Kai this frantic, hands even shaking as he pours Beomgyu a cup of water. Perhaps he should’ve thought twice before telling Kai that he needed to go help Beomgyu out, because of course that would concern Kai more than it did him. Of course Kai was going to come along. The guy wouldn’t let himself live guilt-free for another day if anything had happened to his precious Beomgyu hyung. 

When Beomgyu had ditched him, saying he had urgent matters to deal with, Taehyun didn’t think he meant that he would be out getting drunk with his strawberry man. Now that he thinks about it, it did seem like the guy was sober, so maybe it’s just Beomgyu. 

Before being a part of this whole mess, Taehyun was out having fun with the love of his life; his beautiful crush Huening Kai. They had just finished watching a new movie that was out at the cinema, in which Taehyun had offered to pay for the tickets and the caramel popcorn. Perhaps he’s thankful that Beomgyu ditched him after all. 

He would’ve considered it a little date, and the thought alone made his heart giggle. 

Taehyun always felt happy with Kai. He used to feel happy just by looking at him, so you can imagine how it must feel to him now that they could be considered friends. 

Exactly, Kang Taehyun was over the moon. 

And he’d jump over every moon, if it meant that he could finally reach the warmth of his sun. If he could earn it, if he deserved it. 

So Taehyun didn’t like how Kai was not his happy self right now. He didn’t like it one bit. 

“Kai, how about you take a rest? I’ll handle Beomgyu.” Taehyun suggests softly, he doesn’t want Kai to stress about something that’s not his fault.

“But how can I when he looks so… hurt? Tyun, I don’t think he’s well, do we have like a thermometer or something?” Kai starts pacing around the room, rummaging through Beomgyu’s drawers and cabinets in hopes of finding anything. 

He looked uneasy, not even breathing properly. Does everyone normally worry about their best friend this much? Beomgyu is just drunk and passed out, not dead or dying. Taehyun thinks he’s never seen Kai in this state at all, this being a shock to him just as much as Beomgyu sleeping with a mouth open wide, mumbling a bunch of incoherent words. 

That’s when it hit him. 

Oh. 

_Kai likes Beomgyu._

It is so obvious now that you put it in words. 

He always kind of knew that Kai had a crush, and Taehyun will admit that it crushed him a bit. Kai would subtly bring up this presumed love interest of his in their conversations, always smiling shyly whenever Taehyun would ask about who it was. 

He brushed it off as a crush at first, just like his crush on Kai; nothing serious, just enough to make your heart sprint every now and then. 

But when he sees it playing out in front of him, it suddenly clears up all the questions he didn’t even know he had. He was right, no one would worry over small things about their best friend like that, no one would look at their best friend like that, not unless one was in love with the other. 

Taehyun thinks Beomgyu is stupid for not noticing this. He is so stupid for not even looking at Kai the way Kai wants him to. Stupid Beomgyu, and his stupid charm. 

Sighing, Taehyun walks over to Kai, placing both his hands onto his shoulder, making him make eye contact with him. 

“He’ll be fine, everything will be fine. I need you to be fine too, okay? I’ll handle him.” 

If taking care of the one he loves would make him the happiest, then Taehyun would. Anything for Kai. This is how he’s going to show that he cares, with little gestures and actions that could mean a whole lot. 

If Kai loves Beomgyu, then Taehyun would love how Kai loves; so honestly, out of the purity of his heart. So selfless, never begging for anything in return. Just to simply love, and to love the simplicity of it all. 

Kai loved beautifully, and he thought that was so fitting for him. 

Taehyun thinks he doesn’t deserve that kind of love,

but he’d dare to earn it. 

To love, and to be loved. That seemed like a dream, a fairytale. 

Love is not easy. It was not going to be easy, but Taehyun thinks it’s going to be worth all the effort. 

—

“Tell me, Bin. What is love?” 

“You’re asking the wrong person, pal. Look what happened to us.” Soobin says nonchalantly as he munches on a drumstick, not quite realizing the depth of the conversation. 

You don’t think about much when it’s 2 a.m. and you’re having chicken and beer with your ex who abruptly called you out of the blue. Nothing much at all. 

Yeonjun and Soobin were at a small restaurant around the block of where the ice cream parlor they both worked at is. The night was dark outside, a contrast to the warm bright lights of the restaurant. It’s almost empty, so it should be quiet, except it’s not. The sound of Yeonjun’s exaggerated sobs and endless complaints about his life was filling up the whole place, along with the aromatic smell of newly fried chicken. 

Soobin thinks he should’ve hesitated a bit more instead of just immediately agreeing, but seeing that Yeonjun was willing to come all the way to meet up with him at work, he couldn’t possibly refuse. Yeonjun looked bothered, Soobin knew that all too well by now. He learnt about all of Yeonjun’s body language in the two years that they’ve known each other, and showing up at that time just proved it more. 

Yeonjun said he wasn’t drunk yet although he did go to a party, which didn’t surprise him much because Soobin knows that the guy doesn’t get affected by alcohol easily. It would take Yeonjun a lot more than a couple of drinks before he feels a slight bit of tipsiness. 

But he’s had far more than a couple drinks right now, even ordering more beer as they speak. Soobin would have stopped him if it weren’t for the desperation in the older’s eyes, telling him that he needed it today. He needed to momentarily erase and forget, and that’s what the alcohol is for, so he let him.

Soobin knows as well that Yeonjun is still going to remember everything when he wakes up tomorrow, if he even sleeps, that is. Although an occasional heavy drinker, it almost never showed, so seeing Yeonjun with flushed cheeks and a slurred voice in front of him right now was a side of him he had hardly witnessed. 

Soobin has insisted that he wasn’t going to drink, because he wasn’t much of an alcohol person himself, but Yeonjun had persuaded him. 

“It’s not fun having a sober conversation with you!” Yeonjun says while pouring him a glass, “I can go home just fine after this, you don’t have to look out for me. Now drink the damn beer.” 

Not seeming like he has another choice, Soobin tilts his head back and takes a mouthful, the bittersweet liquor coating his throat. 

“That’s more like it. Now tell me, Bin. So what is love? Is love real?”

“If this is you hinting that you want us to get back together I’m sorry but I don’t feel—“ 

“No! You self centered weirdo, just answer the fucking question. Not everything is about you.” Yeonjun rolls his eyes. He regrets enabling Soobin’s pre-drunk thoughts. 

“Well, looking back at our relationship as disgusting as it sounds, I think love is a balance of a lot of things.” Soobin trails off for a moment, trying to come up with a way to phrase things. 

“Love is warm; like a big hug or a constant feeling in the pit of your stomach. Love is exciting and heart racing, causing you to do things unimaginable. Love is comfortable and content. Love is a slow yet constant growth. Love will fill you up in ways you didn’t even know you were missing,” 

“Love is healthy. The act of being selfless and careful, I think that’s the most important. I think that’s where we lacked too, Jun.”

Yeonjun thinks he can agree as well. Their relationship wasn’t exactly ideal. It always felt like someone was giving more than the other, and the other taking until he no longer deserved it. At the time Yeonjun always needed a constant reassurance. He was insecure, and Soobin had to constantly give him security. Soobin loved selflessly, simply loving the idea of being in love, so he gave him everything he could. 

Until he realized that what Yeonjun needed was not him or love. Yeonjun just needed an escape. Yeonjun feared abandonment and had commitment issues, it was an inevitable recipe for disaster. 

So Soobin did the most selfless thing he could do, he let Yeonjun go. 

And it hurt like hell then, feeling like he had applied salt to his own wound. 

But all a wound needs to heal is time, and with time it heals. 

Soobin doesn’t regret it. He has never regretted it. Seeing Yeonjun slowly opening up more and more to other people made him relieved. Yeonjun didn’t need him to feel reassured anymore. Soobin thinks he made the right decision. 

Communication and commitment go hand in hand. Love wouldn’t last if you lacked one or the other. 

“You talk too much when you’re drunk.” 

“I just had one drink! That was just my poetic sober self.” 

“Okay, Shakespeare. That was beautiful.” Yeonjun applauds him for his long speech, making Soobin kick him from under the table playfully in annoyance. 

And it looks like the both of them had already gotten used to be like this. It felt more comfortable this way. 

“Jun?” There’s still one thing that’s on his mind, however. He just wants to make sure. 

“Hm?” 

“Do you still think about _him_?” 

A deafening silence engulfed him, the atmosphere suddenly shifting to a heavier feeling. Soobin avoids Yeonjun’s eyes, he regrets asking him that. 

“I guess time doesn’t heal everything, right?” 

Permanent scars exist, and if they would take form in Yeonjun’s most haunted memory from 11 years ago then he was sure they were going to last a lifetime. 

He wishes he never went to that stream. 

He wishes he didn’t keep going back there. 

He wishes he hadn’t kept that pink, silk handkerchief. 

He wishes he forgot about that heartless boy. 

Maybe then the scars wouldn’t have been this deep, wouldn’t have cut through this much. 

But like everything, he remembers too much, and he’s the only remembering. 

_Life is so unfair._

With an attempt to lighten the mood, Yeonjun changes the subject, gulping down another glass of the liquor. 

“Anyways,” he shakes away his memories that are daring to visit him again, “Have I told you about Choi Beomgyu?”

  


* * *

  


Beomgyu woke up with a throbbing head and his body aching all over. 

He wondered what the cause could be, but he didn’t think for too long as the banging inside his head spoke over his thoughts. Digging up a memory of what happened last night seemed to be impossible, all that he knew is that he probably drank too much. 

A hangover did not feel good. He learnt this after getting wasted for the first time. Beomgyu did not like this, and he didn’t like how he can’t recall a single that happened while he was drunk. 

Just sitting up was a pain, his back felt sore and his shoulders were all stiff and aching from what he can tell by scanning his surroundings briefly is because that he was sleeping on the cold hard floor, with only a single blanket lazily placed over him. 

Beomgyu doesn’t know how he got here, but he blames his drunken state for putting himself in such a bad condition. Sober Beomgyu would never allow himself to sleep on anything but his bed. 

Now waking up a bit from his slumber, he realized that his throat was extremely dry, another thing that he could only guess to be the result of drinking. 

Beomgyu was never going to drink again.

But right now what he needed most was not immediately complying with his own newly set rules, but getting himself a cup of water from across the room. So gets himself up, and drags his legs along to the kitchen, although his dizziness was making getting there all the more harder.

He poured himself a full cup, the cold icy water hitting his throat as he drank it, making him relax a little. Although the headache was still very there, he felt more awake and his eyes felt less heavy, now able to fully take in where he was. 

He was home. _Thank God._ He is proud of himself for navigating his way back safely. Maybe Beomgyu wasn’t as dumb as he thought. 

His moment of pride lasts shortly however, what stops him is going into his bedroom only to see two people sleeping on his bed, bodies pressing and limbs all tangled together. 

Ah, it’s just Huening Kai and Kang Taehyun sleeping with each other on his bed. 

Wait. _Kai and Tyun sleeping with each other on his bed?_

Well they got close fast. 

He was slightly offended that the blonde hasn’t boasted to him about successfully befriending Kai already, but he guesses the guy can keep his little secrets. 

But He was annoyed at the loving sight before him, though. How dare they do that in his household without inviting him to their cuddle session? 

So he pours the freezing water in his cup directly onto the sleeping beauties, which caused Kai to scream and accidentally push a now heavily blushing Taehyun off the bed. 

“Hyung, it’s not what it looks like!” Kai quickly denies whatever he’s trying to, while Taehyun is just making a pained noise on the ground. 

Not only hurting from the sudden push, Taehyun’s smile also instantly comes to a halt with what Kai said. Did he find sharing a bed with him that disgusting? Even though Kai was the one who suggested it last night, he didn’t expect him to hate the idea as soon as he woke up. 

His overthinking didn’t go on for too long, as Beomgyu offers a hand and pulls the blonde up, eyeing the both of them suspiciously.

“Kids these days.” He shakes his head disapprovingly, “At least don’t cuddle in my room, geez. And why am I not in my own bed?” 

“You’re talking like an oldie, if you wanted a hug too you could’ve just asked.” Taehyun says as he wraps his arms around Beomgyu’s torso, squeezing him with all his strength that it makes the older squeal. “And remember that whoever you’re calling ‘kid’ is stronger than you.” 

“Hyung we can explain. Doesn’t the floor look more comfortable anyway?” 

“Get out of my room!” Beomgyu runs after the two, threatening to pour more water to knock some sense into them. 

—

Despite messing around, Kai could tell by Beomgyu’s expression that he didn’t feel the best, and that his headache would worsen if he didn’t do anything to help since Beomgyu wouldn’t even think of taking care of himself. 

He feels bad for letting him sleep on the floor, but Beomgyu was being difficult last night and the guy has always told Kai to use his bed whenever he feels like it, and yesterday was just one of those days. 

He regrets not sharing the bed with Beomgyu, something that they used to do all the time back in Daegu. Sleeping with his best friend always felt cozy and nice, and he always felt warm.

If being a best friend meant best friend privileges of cuddling with Beomgyu, then he’d be his best friend forever. 

Even if it hurt a tiny part within him that that’s all that he’ll ever be. 

But he’s content with it. As long as Beomgyu’s heart is still open out there then he thinks he still has a chance. 

A chance to love him properly, he thinks Beomgyu deserves it. And he’ll wait for as long as it takes, as long as Beomgyu will let him. 

And so doing his part of taking care of his hyung for now, Kai takes a quick trip to a store nearby to buy Beomgyu some hangover soup. Hopefully that’ll make him feel better. 

This left Beomgyu home with Taehyun, who was now drying himself with a towel as he looked at Beomgyu with a displeased face. 

“I was snuggling with the love of my life, and you just had to pour water on us.” Taehyun rolls his eyes, “What the hell dude?” 

“Oh come on, you’re being dramatic. He’s the love of your life now is he? You’re such a romantic, Tyun. When did you guys get so close?” Beomgyu teases as he squishes the blonde’s cheeks, making him glare back at him. 

“I will bite you.” 

Feisty guy. 

“So what happened yesterday? We were worried sick, especially Kai.” 

There it goes again. Beomgyu causing more trouble for Kai like he always does. He really wishes he would stop worrying about every little thing that has to do with him, but he knows that’s not part of Kai’s caring nature. Beomgyu wishes that the guy would put himself first. 

He feels like Kai is holding back on a lot of things because of him. 

But then again, Kai did make it clear that he was looking out for him because he wanted to, and that this was all his choice. Beomgyu will just have to be a better friend to him, he supposes. 

A better hyung at that too. Kai was practically his brother, and he loved the younger so much that he’d sacrifice anything for him. Hueningkai deserves so much love, and deserves to be loved endlessly. 

“I don’t remember? Thinking back makes my head hurt.” 

“Nevermind, then. Just wanted to know why strawberry man was with you.” 

_Oh._

Last night. 

_That_ happened.

The memories all started coming through, images clear in his head, hitting him abruptly like a truck without breaks. So many voices he heard, yet he couldn’t make out a single one. All he knew was Yeonjun. 

How Yeonjun did his make up for him. 

How Yeonjun drove them to the party.

How he drank with Yeonjun.

How Yeonjun danced. 

And the rest was a blur, last thing he remembered was being on Yeonjun’s back, gripping onto his shoulders. 

All he knew of from last night was different images of Choi Yeonjun. 

Beomgyu doesn’t know what happened, but thinking back at it sure made his face burn. He could almost feel the alcohol prickling down his throat again, the loud blasting of music, the way he felt so warm. The feelings all came back to him. 

There it is again, Beomgyu’s terrible memory, but feeling all too much. 

It was embarrassing, thinking about all the stupid things he could’ve accidentally slipped out. God, he hoped it wasn’t anything that was worth remembering to Yeonjun. He would take this shame to his grave, rather than speaking about it to anybody other than the thoughts in his head. 

It was so embarrassing that Beomgyu found himself crawling onto the bed and hiding under a blanket, screaming curse words into a pillow. 

It probably looked pathetic to Taehyun, but he couldn’t care to mind when his pride was on the line. He really did hope Yeonjun had drank just as much as him, if not even more, so he wouldn’t remember last night. 

Letting out a small sigh, Taehyun sits down on the bed, right next to where the older is and pats his head from above the blanket, “It’s okay, I’m sure he doesn’t hate you. I’m not going to even question why you were with him anymore. I’m just glad you’re safe and alright.” 

Taehyun’s voice sounded soft, a reassurance that perhaps things would be fine. Beomgyu’s headache would go away, and Yeonjun wouldn’t bring anything up. Things were going to be okay. 

“Also, Beomgyu?” 

“Hm?” Beomgyu hums from below the sheets. 

“I think I should stop trying with Kai. It won’t lead to anywhere.” 

Taehyun’s voice sounded almost sad, but he seems to have come to terms with it. 

“What? Why so sudden? I thought you guys were just getting close? You even cuddled!” Beomgyu peels his head up from below the covers. He does not get why Taehyun is suddenly bringing this up now, but the look on the blonde told him that he’s thought about this already. He’s made up his mind.

“His heart belongs to someone else, hyung. I don’t stand a chance.”

_Ouch._

“No! You don’t know that! I’ve known the kid for longer than I can remember, and I’m 100% sure he has never had a crush on someone before. You go make a move! It’s about time he falls for someone.” 

“And he already has! It’s so obvious. Hyung, you are so stupid.” 

“Yeonjun already tells me that all the time! No need to repeat it!” 

A few knocks on the door are heard, with a small voice coming from the other side, making Taehyun get up from the bed and go to unlock it. 

Speaking of the devil. 

Choi Yeonjun was here. 

The one man he wanted to see least at this moment. 

The man at the door was dressed in a big T-shirt and comfy sweatpants, a drastic difference from last night if Beomgyu remembers correctly. His pink hair was also poking up in different directions, like he had rushed here as soon as he woke up. 

Beomgyu also just noticed by squinting how Yeonjun is holding a bag of what looked like a container of food and a few other things inside. 

Is this real? Or is this a dream? 

Is this a prank? Why is he here? 

And why did he suddenly feel himself choke up, unable to form coherent words? 

Taehyun however was glaring at the pink-haired, eyes looking as intimidating and threatening as he could make them. 

“Why the fuck are you here? Haven’t you caused us enough trouble? Beomgyu is a lot harder to deal with than you think he is.” 

“Hey!“

“I know, I can tell.” Yeonjun says as he looks at the sight of Beomgyu about to hit Taehyun’s arm. Apparently Beomgyu does that to everyone. “But that’s why I’m here! I hope you like vegetables, Beomgyu.” He smiles as he raises the bag he was holding, smiling and letting himself in. 

— 

“I fucking hate vegetables.” 

“No you don’t! Don’t be silly. Now say ahh~”. Yeonjun says as he lifts the spoon up to Beomgyu’s mouth, trying to get him to eat the cabbage in the soup that he brought. 

Which of course was a challenge, Beomgyu was not easy to persuade. Yeonjun has learnt that by now. But maybe it was because Beomgyu had just woken up from a long and deep sleep, so he compiled without resisting as much as he normally would have.

Beomgyu can’t believe he’s doing this. He can’t believe Yeonjun is feeding him soup in his bed, in his own apartment, with Taehyun staring at the side with a very disgusted look. 

What has his life come to honesty. Beomgyu doesn’t know how he got here, although he admits that this was all his doing. 

What he wouldn’t admit however, was how he liked the care and attention Yeonjun was giving him. Being taken care of is something he has always enjoyed, even if it’s by someone who he’s supposed to have a disliking towards. 

Now that he thinks about it, he’s not even sure if he can say he dislikes Yeonjun anymore. Especially not when he’s looking at Beomgyu so gently, careful not to spill any of the hot liquid on him or the bed. 

Or maybe it was all in his head. His sick and twisted head trying to find a reason not to go through with the plan of abandoning Yeonjun after he has made him attached. Or maybe it was sick and twisted to do so, maybe even heartless, but he couldn’t back away now. 

He doesn’t know where it would lead him, doesn’t know where any of this would lead him if he kept going like this, if he kept allowing Yeonjun to slowly creep his way into his heart without even realizing. It was dangerous, a plan destined for disaster. He needed to end it one day, if not soon.

So to save himself from his own possible downfall, he has to remind himself that this is all an act. Beomgyu letting Yeonjun do all this, it was fake. Definitely not his own heart doing and allowing what it craves. 

It would all end in 60 days anyway, Beomgyu could have a little fun until then. 

So he opens his mouth wide, making Yeonjun able to give him a spoonful of the thing he most despised. He would never do this if it weren’t for his plan. Beomgyu would never. 

He would never have let Yeonjun get this close to him, their knees touching and arms brushing against each other. Never, if it wasn’t part of his plan. 

He wouldn’t never let his heart beat this fast, sound echoing in his own eardrums. Of course he wouldn’t. 

But this was planned after all, right? It would inevitably work out for him in the end. He had absolutely nothing to lose. He would be able to finish writing his song by then, although Yeonjun wouldn’t have been of much help. 

“I’m still here by the way.” The sounds of Taehyun clearing his throat caused him to look at his direction, seeing how visibly disgusted he is by the sight in front of him. 

Oh yeah, Taehyun _is_ still here. 

“Can the strawberry guy leave now? I don’t want Kai to have to come back and see this horrifying sight. And Beomgyu can feed himself, by the way!” Taehyun says the last bit while looking directly at Yeonjun, eyes sending daggers his way.

“Can you at least hide your hatred for me? Stop glaring!” Yeonjun puts down the spoon and stands up, voice raising slightly. 

“Wait do you two know each other? What am I missing?” Beomgyu is pretty sure this is not something you say to someone you’ve just met, and it would be hard to believe that Taehyun just recognizes him and the nickname from the ice cream parlor that one time. Surely he has missed something. 

“Yeah, pink hair over there called me last night when you were drunk and left me and Kai to deal with you. How irresponsible. He got us all worried.” 

“At least I brought him home! I had good intentions.” Yeonjun adds to the statement. 

_Oh?_ Yeonjun drove him home? 

_Fuck._ He did. 

Beomgyu really hopes he didn’t accidentally say something stupid now, especially knowing that he would’ve definitely felt more comfortable being bold in the privacy of his own apartment.

“That was the least you could’ve done. I’m glad you weren’t drunk, or else who knows what could’ve happened!” 

_Oh?_ Yeonjun was sober too. 

That was even worse. Why did it have to be Yeonjun? 

Just in time to cut off Beomgyu’s realization of how bad the situation could’ve been, the door is swung open for the second time, revealing Kai holding way too many plastic bags for what he needed. 

And Kai was certainly shocked, taken back to say the least. 

“Kai, it’s not what it looks like.” Beomgyu quickly moves a bit away from the older, a safe distance now between the two. 

“Are you quoting me? Who’s that?” 

“Yes, and It’s really nothing I swear. Yeonjun over here is just paying for what he caused.”

“Oh I see— wait so that’s Yeonjun?” Kai raises his eyebrows in surprise and realization, remembering the name being mentioned by Beomgyu a couple of times already. 

However Yeonjun was the one who looked the most surprised, mostly confused. Yeonjun recognized Kai. He doesn’t think he could ever forget such a face overnight, but he’s also sure he didn’t mention his own name. Now how did he suddenly become the talk of the town? And how did this tall guy know who he was? 

Unless someone has been talking about him? Presumably the innocent looking brown-haired next to him. 

“So I’m famous now?” Yeonjun looks over to Beomgyu, who’s just staring at him with confusion. “Does Beomgyu tell everyone about me? Do you like me that much?” He teases, bending over to look at the victim of his annoyance. 

The victim who is now looking much redder than before, face turning a deeper shade all of a sudden. Was he sick? Did the soup do something bad to him? 

Before he could suspect even further, Beomgyu excuses himself to the bathroom, and what’s left is just the three of them staring at each other confusedly in the small room. 

Beomgyu doesn’t know why his heart is suddenly racing this much, like it was going to burst out of his chest. He felt like he had just run a marathon and was sweating, but in fact it was just his body heating up at an alarming rate. 

He locks the bathroom door, catching his breath and staring at his own reflection. 

He looked so flushed, anyone would think it was because of the hangover. 

But if Beomgyu is being honest to himself, he’s sure it isn’t that. He knows it’s not that. 

Beomgyu touches his own face, making sure that this is very real, and that his face is indeed very warm. He then puts a hand on his chest, trying to calm the rapid beating of his heart. 

He looks into the mirror, the most insane thought coming to him. 

_Could it be?_

_No way._

“What have you done to me, Choi Yeonjun?”


	7. rain, as I’ve known it.

Beomgyu runs along the hall, careful not to make his heavy breaths and footsteps too loud as he tries to make his escape. 

Perhaps skipping his evening classes and breaking out of the evil walls of his college was not the most well thought out idea. 

But it was Yeonjun’s idea, and this is kind of what he signed up for.

The adrenaline rushing and pumping through his veins was a feeling that he enjoyed a lot, despite the feeling being unfamiliar to him. Beomgyu was always a good kid when it came to respecting the school rules and boundaries and staying in line.

_The things he does for Choi Yeonjun._

When he reaches the gate, Beomgyu realizes that he can’t really just happily prance out. That makes him groan annoyedly and slap a hand to his head for even thinking that escaping would be this easy. 

So he guesses he has to opt for climbing over the walls of the place. 

The brick wall acting as a border separating the college from the outside world doesn’t look that tall, but it was going to be challenging. It would be impressive if he managed to get over it and land safely on the floor on the opposite side. 

However Beomgyu was up for the challenge, not like he had another choice anyway. The time was ticking and people would soon notice his disappearance which was far too long for just a bathroom break. People were going to worriedly look for him, wondering if he had an accident and couldn’t come back to his class, if they cared enough. 

If people were going to see him, then he was certainly going to make sure that the sight they caught would not be one of Beomgyu’s body in the air, arms shakingly grabbing the edge of the wall so that he could make his escape. 

He throws his bag over the wall first to save him the annoyance of having to carry the weight of it on his back later. He bites his bottom lip, eyes desperately scanning around his surroundings to find anything he could use to levitate him off the ground just so he could at least get a little closer to the edge.

Thankfully he spots a ladder in the corner of his eye. Beomgyu sighs in relief. Perfect. It was as if someone had planned to make his escape easier for him, but he supposes it was just his luck of the universe being on his side today.

And so he climbs the ladder, hand gripping the rusty metal as he carefully lifts his leg up one timid step at a time. His heart sinks with every step, feeling like his body could sink along with it if he made one wrong move or lost his balance. 

Finally reaching the top, a wave of adrenaline mixed with fear suddenly washes over Beomgyu once again as he stands on the edge, only to realize that he has to make a terrifying jump down in order to fully complete his mission of breaking out.

This could end very badly, the worst case scenario being him landing down on the dirty floor with a loud cry and broken bones. 

He takes one last deep breath, and decides not to stall for any longer. This will all be over once he reaches the ground.

“Mom, I love you!” Beomgyu says his last words and squeezes his eyes shut, holding his shaky breath and getting ready to take a faithful jump down—

“ _Yo, BG! Down here!_ ”

Beomgyu’s eyes widened instinctively upon hearing the nickname, looking down to find out whoever was calling him, although he already knew who it was, recognizing the familiar voice all too well. As expected, right below him on the other side is a pink haired Yeonjun, eyes looking up at him with a big smile, waving his arms. 

Beomgyu wasn’t sure why the guy was here to be honest. Sure, him escaping the walls of his college was indeed the older’s idea of rebelling, but he did not see how Yeonjun being here at this moment would be of any help to the situation. Beomgyu is still up in the sky, cold wind on his face and shaky legs on the edge of the top of the wall, feeling like he could fall at any moment. 

“If you jump down I’ll catch you!” Yeonjun states, arms spreading wide open like he’s giving the air a hug, seemingly prepared to prevent the other from making contact with the rough ground. 

“Are you out of your damn mind! You can’t!” He exclaims back just as loud, like he had already forgotten the intent of not getting caught in the act of escaping. 

“Just trust me, will you? Jump!” 

Beomgyu can’t believe he’s about to do this. Can’t believe he’s actually blindly placed his trust in Yeonjun, despite half-knowing that it would be almost impossible to safely catch him with just open arms full of dedication. 

But he jumps anyway, without much thinking, like he does with everything. 

He’ll have to trust Yeonjun on this one, as crazy as it sounds. 

He doesn’t mind. As long as it’s Yeonjun. 

Yeonjun will have to pay if anything goes wrong. 

Beomgyu just needs to take one step. 

Just a leap. 

_Thud._

A big thud is heard as Beomgyu then opens his tightly squeezed shut eyes to see what situation he has landed himself in.

Or more like what he had landed on, because he later finds out that he’s lying on top of a very pained looking Yeonjun, whimpers heard and cheeks pressed against the floor, with his arms wrapped around the smaller’s torso. Beomgyu’s side is lying straight on Yeonjun’s chest, close enough to feel the soft beating of his heart, confirming him that he is still indeed alive. 

Although thankful that they are both alive, this does not please Beomgyu. In any other circumstance he would have been happily laughing at the guy, eyes prickling with joyous tears as he calls him the all sorts of insulting names Beomgyu has made for him. But this time he found himself actually worried, feeling bad for being the cause of his current pain due to landing on him so hard. 

Until he realizes that this was all kind of Yeonjun’s plan anyway, so he brushes off the feeling of guilt and decides to get up from the man. 

“ _See._ I told you I would catch you.” Yeonjun is now tightening the hold on his waist, pulling him even closer so it stops the other from getting off of him. His piercing eyes are now staring right into his, a slight smile evident on his now cracked lips. 

“Yeah, good job! And you almost died in the process, you dipshit. Now let me go!” 

All of a sudden Yeonjun flips the smaller so he’s now the one on top, hands placed on both sides of him, trapping Beomgyu to the ground.

“What if I just trapped you here forever, hm? In between my arms, wouldn’t you like that more instead?” Yeonjun’s voice sounded almost like honey, making him actually consider the offer. He just felt so small like this. Under Yeonjun’s deep gaze, under the whole darkening sky. 

The sky is darkening too fast in fact, that makes Beomgyu have to break eye-contact with the older just so he can get a better look at the vast canvas. It looks like it’s about to rain, wind blowing much more heavily than before and clouds looking darker in color. 

His suspicion is confirmed when he feels a few droplets of rain make contact with his arms, wetting the sleeves of his shirt. 

Beomgyu has never liked the rain. He would even go as far as to call his disliking for it hatred. 

But somehow he’s unmoving, body feeling like it’s been put in a trance as he just looks into the pair of eyes staring down at him. Situation feeling a bit familiar, a small smile creeps up to his face, making the other pair of dark eyes looking back at him soften in response. 

The rain pouring down heavier somehow doesn’t bother Beomgyu. The only thing he can focus on is Yeonjun, whose eyes were flickering down to his lips for a split second until he’s staring into his eyes again. 

This makes Beomgyu’s heart hammer all the way to his eardrums, thumping at the rate of what feels like being ripped out of his chest. He feels empty yet full at the same time. His heart soars, although both of his feet along with his body are still pressed against the now wet floor. 

Yeonjun inches in, breath now tickling the tip of his nose, feeling warm contrasting against the cold of his wet shirt due to the rain. The taller reaches one hand out to cup his cheek, slim fingers feeling icy, but that somehow makes his heart _burn._ He brushes his thumb in little circling motions across the smooth skin ever so softly, barely there, as if he were afraid that Beomgyu would crumple and disappear if he applied any more pressure to his now heated cheeks. 

Beomgyu wouldn’t run away, he can’t when Yeonjun is looking at him like that. Not when he has never felt so _whole_ before. 

It was an odd combination. Heavy rain and a soft pair of eyes, soaked clothes and the warmth that was in the form of a body placed above his. Heart speeding but his body unable to move. 

It was like the whole world was stuck, no one else present in the scene that was now Beomgyu’s and Yeonjun’s, except for the rain and the synching sound of their heartbeats. 

Oh how Beomgyu wanted to completely close the gap between them, erasing whatever distance they had and just give into the emotions and thoughts flowing through his mind in this very moment.

The thoughts consisted much of his hand laced in messy pink hair, and a pair of plush lips on his. 

Before the unbearable tension was about to get out of hand, Yeonjun pushed himself up to get off of the floor and the little guy he was on top of, reaching out a hand for Beomgyu to grab to help him get up as well. 

Just as the pair of hands were going to take his, Yeonjun retreated his hand and started to run off to _who knows where_ , creating puddles to splash with every step.

“Catch me if you can, short-legs!” He manages to let out in between breaths and laughs, running away from the younger who looked much like an angry puppy right now. Beomgyu crosses his arms over his chest, eyes trying to look as threatening as possible while he glared daggers at Yeonjun, cheeks still very red, but that just made him look all the more adorable. 

_He’s so cute._

_I could kiss him right now._

_I want to kiss him right now._

“Choi Yeonjun you are so dead!” 

Ah yes, the sound and words of pure love interrupts him from thinking any further. 

Beomgyu is even cute when he’s supposedly angry, Yeonjun thinks to himself too. 

Beomgyu would have run after him, trying to get him back with whatever way he was planning as a form of payback while yelling out a bunch of curses directed at him. 

He would have done that, if it weren’t for the fact that he couldn’t tear his gaze away. He felt paralyzed, mind feeling fuzzy and everything around him turning into a blur except for the sight in front of him. 

Yeonjun was _breathtaking_. The way his pink hair was damp with rain and now sticking to his forehead, reaching his glistening eyes which looked like the stars were hung up in them. The way his white top was now clinging to his torso, revealing the outlines of his body. The way there was now golden sunlight peeking out from the clouds, making the droplets look like honey that reflected just so beautifully against Yeonjun’s skin. The way he could feel the whole world dancing along with the man spinning and running in the rain, yet the only one he sees is Yeonjun. 

Yeonjun, who selfishly and foolishly stole his heart. 

The rain barely affected him, feeling nothing like Yeonjun’s presence. It’s like he was put under a spell, feeling like his whole body could turn into one of those puddles of rains on the floor, with his heart laid out for the world to read. 

Beomgyu thinks he has never seen a sight more like the text-book definition of beautiful. 

The scene reminded him much of the night at the party, except he is sure that he’s completely sober this time. 

Yet everything felt so dizzy. The only thing filling his mind was Choi Yeonjun. He supposes his question has been answered, it’s Yeonjun that’s far more intoxicating than the alcohol. Drinking is not the cause of his cheeks feeling they are on fire right now. 

“ _Why’re you just standing there! Come play with me!_ ” 

The invitation hangs in the air, daring him to put all his hesitation aside and just join him in this one moment gifted to him by the universe itself. 

Time is also a gift. It was now or never. 

And so Beomgyu runs to him, speed nothing compared to the thumping of his heart. Puddles of rain carelessly splattering but he just runs, legs taking him to the only place it knows how, where he wants to be the most. 

He decides that he wants to be wherever Yeonjun is. 

Beomgyu swore at this moment that this is something that he was going to remember until his last breath. It was a scene he would paint a million times over again, if it meant that that would capture the full beauty of this temporary moment. He would tell this story over and over again to his grandchildren, insisting that it was far more beautiful than any other fairytale they had ever read. It was a scene that he could write hundreds of songs about, yet he would never be enough to find the right words to describe the emotions he felt while staring at the man dancing alone in the rain, under the wide sky. 

Suddenly, all the things he loved, all things beautiful, were about Yeonjun. 

“Caught you!” Beomgyu says between breaths, panting from the amount of chasing he had to do before finally being able to have him in his arms. 

He was more than willing to keep running though, if it meant being able to be with Yeonjun at the end. 

The taller smiles softly, finger coming up to gently brush the droplets of rain off Beomgyu’s long eyelashes. Despite spending a lot of time with Yeonjun these days, it’s these little gestures that make Beomgyu’s heartbeat fasten out of control. He’s sure his face is a blushing mess, and he’s thankful that Yeonjun isn’t bringing it up, still staring at him like he’s the only precious thing in the world. 

Beomgyu doesn’t like the rain, or so he thought. 

But he could learn how to fall in love with it, 

because the rain has never been this bearable, has never looked this gorgeous, until Yeonjun was dancing under it in his own little world. 

Oh, how he wanted to be part of that little world.

And he decided on this day, that he wouldn’t want to have it any other way. 

  


* * *

  


11 years ago. 

_Crack._

The familiar sound of broken plates was heard again, causing the floor of his home to look much more like a crime scene than a shelter. There were glass shards spread out everywhere. The pieces were littering the floor, reflecting the blinding white lights of their kitchen that had never felt this uninviting before. It would’ve been a challenge not to step on any of them. 

The sound might as well come from Beomgyu’s broken heart itself.

Who would’ve thought a child would get used to such sounds and sights? The memories of the past month replaying in his head like a broken record, making him curl up against the side of their countertop, hugging his legs together and holding in his whimpers. 

He felt numb. 

It was the scene of his parents fighting playing out in front of him, both of their voices much too loud for their usual little banter and arguments. It was getting messy, his mom’s silk black hair looked dull and dad’s eyes looked dimmed. 

This isn’t what he had pictured all those fairytale love novels to be. Wasn’t love supposed to be magical? 

Falling out of love was not pretty. 

Beomgyu learnt at this moment, at the age of eight, that the perfect love story did not exist. There was no princess who needed saving, and no knight in shining armor on a white horse on his way to rescue her. 

Which is quite sad when you think about how the little boy had always loved the idea of love. He also loved how they used to be such a loving family, always laughing and talking at the dinner table, always going on little family adventures to wherever their parents chose. The Choi’s were what most people would describe as the ideal family; so full of love. 

Although Beomgyu doesn’t know the exact details of how this all started, he can just assume that his parents no longer loved each other. He can’t feel their warmth anymore. 

He just hoped they still loved him. 

And so he does the only thing he can think of at this moment, he runs, putting on his raincoat and leaves past the door as quietly as possible. His parents wouldn’t even notice him, anyway. 

Running felt foreign, all too unfamiliar, but Beomgyu didn’t really know what else too. 

The rain felt cold and unfriendly, droplets feeling like teeth gnawing at his skin. His steps caused large puddles to splash, but that didn’t stop him from taking his legs down to the familiar path that was going to lead him to a little stream. 

Beomgyu first heard about the stream when Kai told him that it supposedly grants all your wishes, as he himself had been using it as his wishing well. He was even more convinced when Kai told him that the other day he had come to the creek to wish for some money, and the next day he woke up with a missing tooth and money under his pillow.

_“It sent the tooth fairy to deliver me money! I’m telling you that’s magic!” Kai’s voice comes to his memory._

And that's why Beomgyu was now on a mission. He has one wish he’d like to be granted more than anything right now, he just wants his parents to be in love again. 

Maybe he also wanted the rain to stop. 

So he ran and ran, the rain daring to taunt him into speeding any faster. 

Perhaps he ran a little too fast, because apparently he had slipped right before he had reached his destination. 

“Ow!” He let out a pained cry, scratches now marking his knees and arms, dusting his skin a shade darker and redder. His legs felt cold against the wet floor, sending a shiver down his spine. 

He was too busy crying in fact, that he didn’t notice that there was someone else with him, standing in front of him holding an umbrella and what seemed to be a small pink box of milk.

The boy looking down at him seemed to be a bit older than Beomgyu, as he looked much taller. He just stood there with confused eyes and pursed lips instead of offering to help, which did not make Beomgyu happy at all. 

And so he carries on with his misery and continues crying his heart out, pain hitting him in all areas all at once. 

In the middle of him expressing his distress, Beomgyu had the sudden urge to look back up at the boy standing, who was safely hidden from the rain due to the shelter of his umbrella and cries out,

“Mister, why does it hurt all over?” Beomgyu choked between sobs as put a hand on where he knew his heart to be, feeling the pain both from his scraped knee and tightening chest. The images from the scene at home suddenly flashed in his mind again with the pain being brought up, and it just felt so heavy. 

It felt suffocating. 

The taller boy in front of him was now tilting his head to the side, looking even more confused by the out of context confession, but he just sighed and crouched down next to the smaller. He reached out his umbrella a bit so it shielded them both from the rain. Although Beomgyu was already wearing a raincoat, the extra protection felt nice. 

“You don’t have to call me mister, I’m only 10. It feels weird.” The boy said abashedly, feeling embarrassed by the sudden name. 

“My mom told me to address all strangers politely, and because I don’t know your name, you are going to be Mister.” Beomgyu’s crying had seemed to calm down a bit as he now managed to say this without choking on his own tears, but his nose still felt stuffy. 

The boy let out a little laugh, eyes disappearing for a moment until he lets his curiosity get the best of him,

“Why are you outside? It’s raining, won’t your parents be worried? I know my parents would be, they’d scold me for sure if I didn’t have my umbrella with me.”

Beomgyu is quiet for a bit and pouts, looking like he’s searching in his own head for the answer.

“They’re too busy fighting to notice I’m gone, but I sure am _hungry_.” Beomgyu says as he eyes the box of milk in the taller’s hand. It looks like he hasn’t even taken a sip yet, the hole at the top still unpunctured. 

The boy seems to get the idea, and so he hesitantly hands him the small carton. He was now getting up, seeming like he was about to head back home. 

“You can have this. I don’t really like strawberry milk anyway, I prefer banana.” He offers and shrugs. 

Beomgyu’s eyes sparkle for a moment, touched by the kindness, “Thank you, mister! I’m Beomgyu!” He reaches his hand out to take the drink, and brings his other free hand out for a friendly handshake. 

The stranger takes his hand hesitantly, but a smile is quickly plastered on his face. “Nice to meet you Beomgyu. Let’s not get hurt anymore, hm? We should go home.”

“Mkay. See you!” 

Somehow Beomgyu forgot that he was in pain. Meeting the boy had somehow erased all the distress he was feeling, leaving him with a confused feeling in his gut. 

He didn’t think much of it, though. He was just happy he didn’t feel like crying anymore. And he’s glad he’s made a friend. 

Maybe the taller might as well have been his wishing well as well, because one of the wishes Beomgyu had made just before seeing him was granted. The rain had stopped just as his new friend left, the only trace of it left being the little puddles around him, reflecting the sunlight now peeking through. 

A _miracle._

And with the taste of sweet creamy strawberries on his tongue and a soaked raincoat, Beomgyu hopes his next wish comes true too. 

“I hope I see you again, _Mr. Strawberry._ ”

  


* * *

  


Kai was a lot of things. 

But he wouldn’t say being stupid was one of them. 

Kai caught on pretty fast when he realized it was taking Beomgyu a bit too long for a simple bathroom break, but he didn’t think much of it at first. 

He didn’t think much of it, because he didn’t really expect it. Beomgyu skipping class seemed unlikely, especially when it was a class he shared with Kai. 

And especially because he was almost sure that Beomgyu had promised his mom did he would focus on school more than he ever did back in Daegu, which was basically the only reason his mom allowed him to move here all by himself without the company of his family. 

That, and because Beomgyu’s mom gave Kai the extra responsibility of keeping an eye on Beomgyu so that he wouldn’t accidentally ruin his own life, since Kai was also planning to go to the same college.

And of course Kai didn’t have a problem with that. He didn’t mind that at all, when that’s what he had been doing for most of his life anyway; looking out for and being there for his favorite hyung. 

Moving to Seoul was not easy. It was hard to convince everyone around you that you were going to be able to start a fresh new life away without having everyone worry. However it what made it a little easier was the fact that Beomgyu and Kai were both planning to go to Seoul together, to continue their studies in the lively city. 

Sharing the same interests and dreams as your best friend was great. You two would always be able to help each other out, and you would understand each other’s thoughts and worries. You’d both be each other’s driving force. It couldn’t get any better than this. Kai thought it was surely fate that he and Beomgyu both had this in common; their love for music. 

Or maybe it was because it was all he had ever known. Following Beomgyu, being with Beomgyu, it was always Beomgyu’s best interests that he had in mind. 

Perhaps he had picked up on these things that Beomgyu liked and had a passion for without even realizing, but he guesses it works for him.

For the first time when Beomgyu didn’t ask for his help on a project, Kai was a little taken back. They’d normally always lean on each other, it was natural for them. Guess you have to learn to grow by yourself sooner or later. 

He was just confused as to how Yeonjun could be of more help than him. Just who was this Yeonjun guy? 

Kai hopes to find that out one day, and also find out how useful Yeonjun could be. 

He doesn’t think he got the answer a few days ago when he met Yeonjun for the first time. He just looked like the average man who had a slight interest towards his best friend. 

And Kai didn’t like that one bit. Yeonjun was getting too comfortable, but he supposes that means Beomgyu’s second plan is working as well. Yeonjun did look like he was going to get rather attached to Beomgyu, and that would make Beomgyu’s payback all the more satisfying. 

Kai thinks Beomgyu is cruel for doing this, just like how Beomgyu is occasionally cruel to his heart. 

Anyways, Kai was determined to find out whatever Beomgyu was up to at the moment. He really hoped the older hasn’t already caused any trouble for himself, as it’s already been what seemed like 15 minutes, and surely no one goes to the bathroom for this long. 

And so he excuses himself to the restroom as well, he guesses that’s the only excuse he would have to make a sudden disappearance from his class.

Walking along the hallway at this time felt different, the lack of students really shifted the whole atmosphere. It felt a little cold, but that could also be because it has now started to lightly rain outside from what he could see from the windows. The trees were moving along with the wind, the rain must be getting heavier by the second. 

However Beomgyu was not in sight. He checked all the empty rooms nearby and stairways, but still no trace of the small hyung. 

This started to worry Kai a bit, because if Beomgyu was not inside this department, then that must mean he was outside. 

And it was raining outside. 

And Kai knows that Beomgyu hates the rain. 

He pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. Just what was Beomgyu thinking? Maybe he didn’t think it was going to rain, and therefore he probably hasn’t brought an umbrella. 

So Kai rushes to the nearest store to their department and stops by to buy an umbrella, which he unfortunately hadn’t brought with him as well. He pauses for a moment to catch his breath, but he couldn’t rest for long. He needed to hurry, the rain would pour down heavily at any minute and he didn’t have much time. Beomgyu couldn’t have gone that far, hopefully the guy just ditched class to take a small stroll outside for a bit, although Kai had no idea how Beomgyu would be able to get past the security. 

Knowing Beomgyu he probably broke out by climbing over the wall or something. 

It took Kai a bit of persuading for the security guards to let him out, but he thinks it’s worth all the effort. 

And so with an umbrella in one hand and a determined heart, Kai was going to find Beomgyu. 

As embarrassing as it sounds, he had it all pictured in his head. He would approach Beomgyu from behind and cover him with the umbrella amidst the rain. Just thinking about it made his excitement overflow his worry, making him speed up his pace. He didn’t have time to worry about how his new shoes were getting ruined by the rain. 

Kai knew that as soon as he reached Beomgyu, the older would whine and tell him about how he didn’t need to come searching for him, and how he was fine by himself, but he knew Beomgyu wouldn’t mind as much as he reacted. They’d probably just ditch school and get ice cream afterwards. 

As selfish as it sounded at this moment, he hoped the rain wouldn’t stop yet. He wanted to reach Beomgyu just in time and be there to protect him, that’s why he had bought the umbrella after all. 

But as soon as he saw who he had been searching for all this time, he just dropped his umbrella, wide eyes stuck on the scene. 

His chest suddenly tightened, enable to really breathe or think properly. His hands were shaking, not even sure if it was because of the cold at this point. The air felt palpable, almost suffocating, as his vision started to become blurry. 

He has never seen Beomgyu smile like that before. 

Kai means it when he says that, this was certainly different from all the times they’ve shared their fits of laughter.

Beomgyu has never smiled like that before, and Yeonjun was the cause of that smile. 

And realizing that, felt like a punch to the stomach. It didn’t take a genius to know what that was. 

Of course it didn’t, Kai has been watching, looking out for Beomgyu all his life. 

But when Kai saw Beomgyu with Yeonjun. The beaming in Beomgyu’s eyes was one that he could only dream of being for him; so tender, full of unsaid hopes and promises. 

He could see it all too well, it looked familiar. He knew what that was. 

This is when Kai confirmed to himself that Beomgyu’s heart was indeed unattainable. 

He always knew Beomgyu had so much love inside of him, he’s glad he can see his hyung spread that love to whoever his heart calls for, _yearns_ for. 

Beomgyu deserves to love, deserves love, more than anyone he knows. 

Kai just wished that his love would be enough for him. 

But he’s never been enough for Beomgyu, has he? 

Was it selfish? Was it selfish to want something that you’ve only been giving to someone for what feels like your whole life, only to realize they never saw it in the first place? 

Perhaps it was selfish, but it was natural. It was human.

 _Humans._ We’re greedy. We want, we yearn, we break. 

Maybe Kai didn’t show it enough, maybe he didn’t make it obvious. 

He guesses he could blame it on himself, since blaming the one he loved just didn’t feel right. It wasn’t right, not when Beomgyu seemed so happy like this. 

Beomgyu would be happier like this, anyway.

He really wasn’t enough for Beomgyu. Kai gave until he no longer could, until it broke him to do so. 

Amidst all this, all the overwhelmingness of it all, he managed to crack a smile. The corner of his lip slightly tugs up, with sorrowful eyes displaying all the words he wouldn’t dare to say. 

With a heavy heart and a deep breath, he stands there, allowing himself to be absorbed in the moment and drenched in rain. 

It was cold, but nothing bothered him much like the pain in his chest, pulling all the weight of his body down so he was stuck.

Beomgyu hates the rain, but Kai has never seen him so absorbed into it, has never seen Beomgyu so unaffected by it all. 

He doesn’t need Kai after all, does he? 

Although the weight of it all made it almost impossible to move, Kai put in all the effort to run. 

Like how he would run to Beomgyu, except this time he’s doing the exact opposite of what he’s been doing his whole life. 

Kai needed to get as far away as possible. Wherever it was, he needed space more than anything. To clear his mind, to heal his heart. 

He means it, when he admits that he has never felt this broken. 

_I’ve never been enough, have I, hyung? I’m not what you want._

_But you look happy like this. You’ll be okay, right?_

_You’ll be okay with him._

— 

Despite the tears prickling in his eyes that were blurring his vision and the pouring rain, Kai was able to locate himself to the familiar location asily. 

Easily as in physically easy, his heart still felt like being ripped apart, on full display for the world to read his despair.

It felt pathetic, almost humiliating to be in such a vulnerable state, but he thinks he needs to be honest with his emotions for the first time. 

He felt hopeless. He was a helpless child, wandering to find his way home, only to realize he couldn’t even go home like this. 

Beomgyu was his home, and Beomgyu didn’t need to see him like this. 

Kai could be even more honest with his emotions, and label this as his very first heartbreak. 

Isn’t it funny how his first love, the only person he has ever learnt to love, was also the person who would have taught him how it feels like to be absolutely worthless. 

Was his worth defined by loving Beomgyu, and how much love he could give? 

Beomgyu was everything he ever knew, and everything reminded him of his best friend who he knew he was forbidden from falling for. 

Everything, including the spacious rooftop of his college. 

It was almost always quiet here, as it should be, since you’re not really allowed up here. But Kai has come here alone just enough times to figure out when the doors leading to the place aren't locked, allowing him to have the whole floor privately to himself. 

A good place to escape reality for a while, since most people didn’t even know it existed, therefore making it the perfect escape. 

He knew he wouldn’t be able to escape for long. Time would be chasing him soon. He’d have to leave eventually. 

It was colder up here, the air much thinner and the wind feeling more evident than ever. The breeze against his face tickling him, making a chill run up his spine. 

The view was often the most beautiful up here, a part of the city on full display. 

People-watching from here was fun. He found it interesting how he could see everyone from this spot. Random people just going along their days. People who all have different lives, different stories, all very busy with problems of their own. 

No one is going to care about his little problem with his own heart. Of course no one would care, everyone’s caught up in their own business anyway. 

And Kai was fine with that, it felt oddly relieving knowing that everyone goes through hardships, everyone eventually feels pain. It’s just that some people deal with it better than others, some hide it better than others. 

Kai wasn’t sure if he was either one of those types of people. He can’t be bothered to conceal anything when he’s alone. 

Right now it was just him, the rain, and his heart cut open. 

He’ll have to deal with it soon, but right now he’ll let it stay for the time being. 

Kai needed this as a wake up call. A reminder than he’s been a lovesick puppy for far too long. No one tells you that falling for your best friend hurts this much. 

Or perhaps people did. Perhaps he has been warned relentlessly by the media all around him that it could only end it two ways; you either hide your feelings until the end of time, or you get your heart broken and torn in two. 

Kai didn’t think they would both apply to his situation. 

He really didn’t, because the past week he had been planning on pouring his heart out to Beomgyu at this very spot. On the school rooftop, where the sky looked the most beautiful and the stars were the clearest, was where he would confess it all.

He planned it all, how he was going to get Taehyun to buy him some time, while he would be up here decorating the place by hanging up balloons and banners. A surprise for Beomgyu, revealing his true feelings for him that he had just been able to put a label on as ‘love’ recently. 

Kai almost got to do that. 

He wishes almost was enough. 

But here he was at the same rooftop, feeling nothing left but a dreadful reminder that the world was indeed cruel. 

Much too cruel for him. Kai didn’t like this at all. 

Everything looked a little less pretty to him now. It looked dull. 

Even the sky, that was now dark and cloudy, heavy and filled with rain. 

Kai normally never minded the rain. It didn’t really get it the way of much. If anything, the rain allowed him to spend more time with Beomgyu when they were young. They would stay in and watch movies, or have sleepovers all curled up together to accompany each other from the scary storms outside. 

However he thinks he understands why Beomgyu hates the rain so much for the first time today. 

The droplets felt like wet burns against his skin, contrasting against the cold of the air. It felt so taunting, reminding him of how he is feeling, like a laugh and pointed fingers to his face. 

It’s strange. The rain has never felt this foreign to him before. 

If you really look into it, if you try to look at the positives despite it all, he guesses there’s a sense of comfort to it. A feeling of knowing that there’s something accompanying you, and that it’s okay to cry and let your vulnerability get the best of you once in a while.

And so that’s what he’s going to do. 

Kai drops himself to the ground, back on the wet floor and head facing the sky. It was an unfamiliar position, but he couldn’t bother to find it when he just felt to empty. He wouldn’t mind how his clothes were now completely drenched in rain, or how he might even catch a cold tomorrow. 

An excuse to skip school gave him an excuse to avoid Beomgyu, so he didn’t mind at all. 

Kai thinks he won’t be able to face Beomgyu for quiet some time. 

It’s bare, his heart and soul ripped open for the world to read, to heal, or to further destroy. He chose to keep it like this, that way it’s easier for people to reach him. 

And oh how he thinks he needs a hand to help him get through this. 

He let the rain pour on his face, that way he wouldn’t be able to mistaken it for the very obvious traces of tears staining his cheeks. 

With his arms open and laying beside him, with his face up facing the world, he felt so small. 

His problems were nothing compared to what other’s had to deal with. There was a lot more to worry about than a crying boy on the rooftop. 

Aside from the rain, it was quiet. He wondered if he would be able to hear the cracking of his own heart if it wasn’t for nature’s own cry. 

Like this, he was able to think about a lot of things. It wouldn’t have worked out well if he had confessed, would it? If Beomgyu didn’t feel the same, which he probably didn’t, it would just make things awkward between them.

Kai being selfish again, was he really looking out for Beomgyu in the first place? 

Kai knew Beomgyu loved him, and he too loved him back like the moon, but there are multiple types of love. 

Kai didn’t want brotherly love from Beomgyu. Kai didn’t want the type of love that was platonic friendship. He really was selfish, wasn’t he? 

Beomgyu didn’t need someone like him, Beomgyu doesn’t deserve it. 

But he really couldn’t afford to lose him. Beomgyu was his safe place; the one thing never changing in his life, the one place he could run to without feeling like a burden, the one place he could be himself and allow himself to love freely. 

He was greedy, and he himself mistook it for selfless love. 

Perhaps Kai has always wanted something in return, even if it was a little trace of hope for his own happy ending. 

He needed to stop wishing. The world doesn’t give things to people who don’t deserve it. 

What he deserved right now was a bucket of rain pouring down on him mercilessly. 

He’d take that. He wouldn’t refuse it.

And so he closes his eyes, taking what he deserves, and just lies there, focusing on the sound of the droplets hitting the ground. 

He was focusing on it so much, so captivated by it all, that he hadn’t noticed the choked sobs coming from a voice somewhere close. 

Wait. Someone was here? 

He immediately got up, not wanting a stranger to see him in such a state, and tried following the pained sound. If he was being honest, it sounded all too familiar to him now, reminding him of his own cries. 

Whoever was here, they must certainly be going through a lot as well. 

His instinct gets the best of him, and he was now determined to find out who the voice was coming from. 

Kai also wanted to comfort them. No one should be alone during such a difficult time. They could use the company, but he’d leave them alone if that’s what they insisted. 

The sound leads him to one of the small storage rooms on the rooftop. Whoever is hiding there must want the extra privacy if they’re making the effort to be unseen, so he hesitates whether he should peek in or not. 

But the sobs getting even louder tells him that he should. If he were in that position he’d want someone to reach out to him as well. 

With one deep breath, he hesitantly twits the doorknob and creaks it open, revealing the most heart-wrenching thing he has ever seen. 

“ _T-taehyun…?_ “

The blonde looked absolutely miserable, tear stains marking his cheeks and a hand in his mouth to prevent his whimpers from being too loud, although the action didn’t really help. His eyes were red and glossy, and he had his earphones plugged in, probably trying to distract himself from whatever he was going through. 

Kai didn’t know Taehyun had been hurting this much before. What was the cause? How long had this been going on for? Why didn’t he know? Sure, he wasn’t obligated to tell him everything going on in his life, but as a friend he does want to be there for him, whatever it was. 

Taehyun looked _broken._

If he had a mirror, would that be what he had looked like a moment ago? 

Kai isn’t sure if he wants the answer or not, but all he knows right now is that he needs to be beside Taehyun, so he crawls over to the guy crouched down on the floor, who was hugging his own knees as he looked down. 

It was dark in here, and there wasn’t much room for two fully grown adults to be crammed in, but neither of them said anything, allowing the silence to engulf the both of them.

The silence wasn’t deafening, more comfortable than he would’ve imagined being in such a small place would be. Taehyun was still in the same position, the only difference now being the little space the guy had left him by moving slightly to the side. That told Kai that he did the right thing by approaching him.

If only he wasn’t so absorbed in his own sorrows, then he might’ve gotten to Taehyun in time before he was this hurt.

Although he didn’t know the cause, and he wouldn’t dare to ask, he hoped that at least his presence would bring somewhat of comfort. He moves in closer, closing the gap between them little by little, and holds onto Taehyun’s cold hand. Taehyun flinched at first, a bit taken back by the tender gesture, but he didn’t mind it. 

Taehyun really didn’t mind it. He didn’t mind it as much as he should have, even though Kai was partially the cause of the tears uncontrollably running down his face. 

Yes, the same Kai who he would’ve sworn that just seeing by him alone made him the happiest person alive. The same Kai who made him feel warm, made him always look forward to each day in hopes of even catching a glimpse of him, or maybe even getting a chat if he was lucky. The same Kai who was just perfect, beautiful in every way you saw him. The same Kai who he had sworn to try to earn.

Kai, who was here for him at this very moment, refusing to leave him here alone. Kai, who looked at him with so much concern and care that made him question whether he deserved it or not.

The same Kai, who was in love with Beomgyu. 

Why did he have to remind himself about that again?

 _Right person, wrong time,_ he guesses.

That seems to always be the cause. It was always bad timing.

Would things have been better if he had met Kai before all this? Perhaps not. Not when Kai has been in love with Beomgyu for what looks like his whole life. 

Then perhaps would things have been better if he had never met Kai in the first place? Maybe then he wouldn’t be like this.

Taehyun fell for Kai too fast. All so suddenly, without breaks, without a warning. He didn’t think a crush would lead to his heart eventually getting crushed as well, as ironic as it sounds.

He was deep in thoughts, all caught up in his own emotions, that he hadn’t realized that Kai now had his head on his shoulder, quietly sobbing while still holding his hand.

_Kai? Crying too?_

Taehyun didn’t like that. Kai didn’t deserve to feel like that. 

But he knew he couldn’t comfort him. Not like this, with his chest tightening by the minute. 

So they both just sat there, leaning against each other, both with their choked cries and broken hearts, with one hand on another. 

The silence spoke over everything. Perhaps unsaid words were the loudest at times like this. 

The cause of Taehyun’s pain today, was also his sense of comfort, and what caused his heart to speed up at this very moment. Isn’t the timing just lovely? 

Trying to ignore the thumping in his chest, he focuses more on his surroundings; where he was, where he would rather be. 

If Taehyun is being honest, he doesn’t think he would want to be anywhere else. 

Kai had an unhealthy affect on him at this point. The taller’s presence itself was addictive, and Taehyun can’t simply get enough of it. 

Kai. It was Kai again. And from now on it would always be Kai. 

Hesitantly, Taehyun offers Kai one side of his earphones, sharing the song he was listening to. 

The soft strumming of the guitar greets Kai’s ear. The melodies comfort him, resonating in his heart. 

Kai never preferred sad songs. He always found them overwhelming, all too much. He didn’t need music adding extra sadness to his life. He’d much rather listen to happy love songs, ones that made him smile with content. 

But there is something comforting about sad songs, especially when you’re sad. 

As if someone else knew exactly what you were going through, and they were able to put it in pretty words and melodies. 

If people don’t understand you, at least a song does. 

And Kai thinks this song understands him very well.

“What’s the name of the song?” 

Taehyun smiles to himself, wiping the remains of tears on his own face with the sleeve of his shirt. He thinks he’s feeling a little better now, at least better than before.

“ _A soulmate who wasn’t meant to be._ ”

The title of the song reminded him a lot of a certain someone. 

He closes his eyes, and lets the quiet sound of music and the muffled patters of rain accompany him. 

Kai wasn’t going to ignore how he caught a glimpse of Taehyun’s playlist name. 

He doesn’t think he can ignore it, not when it looked all too familiar. 

‘ k❣️’

Unrequited love is indeed so cruel. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Soulmate Who Wasn’t Meant to Be — by Jess Benko
> 
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/st4rjunie)


	8. lips as sweet as yours.

Beomgyu had vanished from the face of the earth for about a week. 

A week in which normally wouldn’t feel like that much time, but considering the amount of days they’ve been spending together for almost two months, the disappearance was definitely noticed. 

Yeonjun didn’t have much time with Beomgyu left, did he? 

And Beomgyu was using up all that time, by cutting off all means of contact from him. 

That’s what it felt like, but Beomgyu probably just had him muted or something along those lines. Yeonjun can’t quite figure him out. 

One moment Beomgyu would look at him like he’s the only thing in the world, and the next moment he wouldn’t even look at him in the eye. The mixed signals were driving him insane, and the sudden disappearance had definitely added to that. 

He didn’t want to think much of it, but he wasn’t going to lie and say that it didn’t make him anxious. 

Like hell it did. He was trying to push those thoughts to the back of his head, but worries and insecurities just kept pushing forward. 

Yeonjun really tried not to let it get to him, tried not to let it eat him up, since he thought that just maybe if he distracted himself enough he could look past everything. 

That’s what he was using Beomgyu for in the first place. To open him up more, to keep his mind off things, to forget. 

Funny how when he was with Beomgyu it also oddly reminded him of so much, yet he didn’t quite know what it was.

There was something about Choi Beomgyu. Yeonjun wouldn’t have chosen him to be his temporary escape otherwise. 

Was 60 days enough time for him to heal? 

Yeonjun was thinking about all this, while on his short break from work, stirring his warm coffee. Thank God there weren’t that many customers today, so he could rest a little longer than the usual 10 minute break you normally get. 

As he takes a sip from the cup, the freshly brewed coffee aroma tickling his nose, he really takes this time to lean back and think. 

Yeonjun thinks he really should try to get a hold of Beomgyu. He shouldn’t let him slip away this easily. 

If he lets that happen, then what would be the point of all this? Sixty days would have meant nothing. 

Yeonjun admits that he had figured out some things while Beomgyu was away. 

Sure, they were practically neighbors and Yeonjun could literally just go up to his floor to say hi and drag him out of his room, but he had his own pride to keep as well. Yeonjun didn’t want to come off as clingy or desperate. 

And he didn’t want Beomgyu to think that he missed him. Beomgyu definitely shouldn’t think that, because it’s definitely not true. 

Actually, who was he kidding? Choi Yeonjun _fucking missed Beomgyu._

Just his whole presence in general. The little things he didn’t know he had gotten so used to in the past almost two months. 

Yeonjun was scared, he’ll admit. But he was courageous enough to willingly take a step forward. He wasn’t going to lose Beomgyu just yet, especially not when their agreement wasn’t over either. He still has plans and things he wants to do with Beomgyu. 

Things that honestly weren’t going to be much beneficial or helpful to the younger, but there were only a few days left anyway. He doesn’t think Beomgyu would mind. 

This trip would mainly be for him, allowing him to fully accept something he had come to terms with during the past few days. 

Yeonjun wasn’t going to put a label on it just yet, because admittedly so, he was still scared. 

Sixty days was perfect for Yeonjun. 

Just enough time to have a little fun, just enough time to enjoy yourself without getting too attached to anything. 

He never liked being caught up in anyone’s business. He also never liked being a part of someone’s life for too long if he’s being honest. 

Everyone who he’s ever loved eventually leaves him, anyway. Might as well be the one to leave first. 

Perhaps his commitment issues made him feel this way. Perhaps it all started from that one evening back in Daegu when he was ten. 

The day was beautiful in his memory, soft giggles and tangled hair, but it hurt like a stab right through his heart. 

He didn’t like commitment, sixty days was more than enough. 

Yet he still found himself counting down the days until this whole thing was over. Time was going by so fast, and he didn’t have enough time to hold onto each passing day.

There was definitely something about Choi Beomgyu; something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He was alluring, his body reacted on its own when it came to Beomgyu. 

Nothing about Beomgyu made sense to him, yet he’s seen so many sides of him already. Like all the puzzle pieces were spayed out in front of him, yet he didn’t know which piece to pick up first and start connecting. His mind simply did not work when it came to Beomgyu. 

All he knows is he feels _whole_. Perhaps Beomgyu was the missing puzzle piece to fill up his life. 

Being with Beomgyu feels like searching for something your whole life, only to find it when you’re not even looking. 

You also find out that maybe you never had to search for it in the first place. What’s meant for you will find you, and Yeonjun can only hope that’s right. 

Sixty days was enough for a deal, for a little fun, but it would never be enough when it comes to the amount of days Yeonjun would like to spend with him. 

60 days of listening to his soft voice, 60 days of their endless bickering, 60 days of his round eyes on him, 60 days of seeing the sunlight tickle his nose, 60 days of hearing his golden laugh. 60 days that he had almost gotten too used to, not realizing that his time was almost up. 

60 days would never be enough time to get used to the blooming in his chest, the constantly growing pit in his stomach. 

He needed more time. 

more. more. more. 

More of Beomgyu. 

It would never be enough. 

But time is a bitch. You get an eternity’s worth of seconds, but it’ll never pause for you. You either try to catch up by running along with it, or you get stuck and left behind. 

There were now three days left, and Yeonjun honestly did not know what to do. 

Beomgyu never said he was moving away or anything, so technically they could still see each other now, and after their whole agreement was over. 

But something told him that these three days were really the last. Time was ticking and Beomgyu was going to leave him, just like everyone eventually does. He really was running out of time. He didn’t want to waste anymore. 

Yeonjun was never meant for commitment, but he sure did want to spend a lifetime ahead with Beomgyu. 

He will have learnt that in 60 days. 

He hopes that when he sees Beomgyu, he won’t have to be so scared anymore. 

And Yeonjun hopes he’s making the right choice. He’ll trust his heart on this one. 

“Hey, Seungmin. Can you fill in for me? I have something kinda— no, really important to do.” 

And before the other could even reply, Yeonjun was already grabbing his coffee with him and leaving the parlor. He rushes out the stoor, legs moving on their own as he follows his heart. 

He takes his phone out of his pocket, and dials a familiar number, 

“ _Long time no see, little guy._ ” 

—

Whoever said time was a gift is fucking stupid. 

Time had not helped Beomgyu at all. Time has made Beomgyu even more confused than he has ever been. Just what has Choi Yeonjun done? 

And there he goes again, thinking about the one thing that has been occupying his mind for the past week. 

He really should stop doing that. It can’t possibly be healthy. 

These days Beomgyu has just been hiding in his room, either eyes on his phone or on the white of his ceiling. He would only leave to go to school or to buy a few snacks. That’s how his life has been going. 

That, and thinking about a certain person with strawberry hair and a nasally voice; one that he had admittedly gotten too used to for his own liking. 

That, and trying to stop thinking about said person. Apparently it was harder than he thought.

Beomgyu didn’t like how the distance he had purposely left between him and Yeonjun, had already basically been filled with the very person he was trying not to think about, not letting it be filled with anything else.

And with that, Beomgyu thinks he has never been more frustrated and confused before. Who is he? Who’s Beomgyu? And why is he such a weak loser? 

He was very weak for not being able to stop himself from wanting more, wanting what he knew wasn’t allowed. 

Oddly, alongside him trying to avoid Yeonjun at all costs, Kai had also seemed to disappear as well. 

Well, not actually disappear. He just seemed to be around Beomgyu less these days, not even stopping by his apartment once in a while for food together or playing games. 

They also talked less. Everytime Beomgyu would catch sight of the taller he’d try to approach him and chat, since that’s what he’s been doing ever since he’s known his best friend anyway; that’s normal. 

What wasn’t normal, and very strange at that, was the fact that it seemed like Kai was going out of his way to avoid Beomgyu. He even showed up to his classes shared with Beomgyu less. 

At first he was just going to give him the benefit of the doubt, and just presume that he was busy. But Beomgyu has known Kai for too long for that. Something was up. Kai was going through something, and whatever that thing was, Kai did not want him to find out. 

Beomgyu could go full-on detective mode for this and get to the bottom of it by himself, but that would mean he didn’t trust Kai. 

And Beomgyu does. Beomgyu trusts Kai more than anyone he knows. Kai would tell Beomgyu when he’s ready, and he’d be back to his old self. 

However that doesn’t stop Beomgyu from missing him. He still wanted to be there for him with any way that he can, just to tell Kai that he could lean on him as well. He wanted to be a reliable hyung to him. 

So he decides to give Kai a call, bringing up his phone. 

The pause is longer than usual, the beeping of his phone ringing in his ear and echoing around the room. 

No one picks up. 

With a deep sigh, Beomgyu slumps back down on his chair, biting his bottom lip in worry. 

Kai was making it incredibly hard not to be concerned about him. 

Beomgyu hopes he’ll get through it, even without his help. 

Kai is strong, he’ll be fine. 

His phone suddenly starts ringing, this time coming from the sound of someone calling him. He quickly puts it to his ear without hesitating, thinking it was who he was just trying to reach. 

But it wasn’t. And he wasn’t expecting this. 

He immediately got up from his seat, eyes shooting up in surprise once he recognized who it was. 

His heart was suddenly speeding up, thumping wildly in his chest. 

Of course he recognized the voice. 

Oh, how he missed that voice. 

—

A long car ride later, and Beomgyu and Yeonjun were at the beach. 

Much longer than Beomgyu would’ve thought, because by the time they got there the sun was already getting ready to set and sink into the waves of ocean. 

The beach reminded him a lot of his home, that small town in Daegu. So it’s been two months already, huh? He doesn’t remember when he stopped counting the days he had spent away from home. Perhaps he was getting used to it all already. 

But he sure does miss home, and everything that came with it. Seoul is different, and he really should stop comparing the two already. 

Seoul is different, Seoul has Yeonjun. 

Yeonjun, who was now dragging his feet along the white sand, while just admiring the beautiful scenery. 

Beomgyu could make out what seemed like a few boats sailing in the distance, and the sounds of children laughing and playing in the background. 

He wonders if those children would remember this very moment, like he now would now as well. 

If Beomgyu had been told to cherish every memory of his life when he was young, maybe then he would have more to look back to. He missed a lot from his childhood, didn’t he? 

But he can’t go back in time and prevent the accident even if he wanted to. What has happened has happened, and Beomgyu will just have to live with a huge part of himself being removed. 

All he could do now, is just take everything in, engrave every small detail into his brain, and relive it in his heart when he would like to. 

He would feel. Feel everything around him ever so deeply, and make sure to remember the feeling. 

He wouldn’t want to lose something like this, he’d try not to. 

The beach was actually rather quiet. Not many people were here, and that confused Beomgyu. 

This was definitely the most beautiful time of the day, why would people willingly miss out on this? 

But Beomgyu wasn’t complaining. This meant he could have all the more privacy to himself, and this scene would be like his own little personal memory. 

This little memory, he’d share with Yeonjun and the sky, and Yeonjun and the sky alone. 

The sky was a mesmerizing shade of pink, bright orange sun casting reflections onto the water, making it sparkle with everyone toss and turn. 

The wind made it more enjoyable as well, lightly blowing. It made his hair a bit messy, but he didn’t mind. 

He couldn’t possibly mind, when there were so many other things in this very frame to cherish. 

And Beomgyu thinks he’s so lucky that he has someone to spend this moment with. This moment would be theirs from now on until forever, as long as they hold on to it. 

He wonders if Yeonjun was thinking about the same thing, or maybe it was just him. Maybe this was all one sided, and Yeonjun really didn’t feel the same. 

Would Yeonjun let this go? Let this memory, let him go? Would Yeonjun hold onto this as well? 

Maybe he was waiting until he was finally free from this deal, and go along with his life Beomgyu-free. Maybe that was what Yeonjun was looking forward to the most. 

That wasn’t the case for Beomgyu, though. He was dreading the end to all this too much, afraid that everything made in the past two months would just slip away within a day. 

It’s funny how Beomgyu’s main plan was to make Yeonjun fall for him, and then be the one to leave him first with no regrets or attachments. Funny how that all played out in the end, seeing as Beomgyu looked like the one losing at his own game. 

It was a dumb idea in the first place, wasn’t it? 

But Beomgyu had fun, he’ll admit. These past 57 days will have been the roller coaster ride of his life that he’ll probably never experience again. 

He didn’t want the ride to end. He was content with being at the very top, even if he would be stuck there, head in the clouds and oh so close to falling. Even if being up here wasn’t steady and uncertain, he’d choose it over leaving everything behind any day. 

Yeonjun had become a necessity in Beomgyu’s life. A drug he was high on, a fire in his heart. 

_Did Yeonjun feel the same?_

“How do you feel, Yeonjun?” 

Out of curiosity, he lets himself ask the man beside him, feet still walking along the vast sand. It was a rather vague question, allowing the other to interpret it in the way they choose. 

Beomgyu might have silently wished for a certain answer. 

“I’m good. This is nice.” The simple answer from him did not please Beomgyu. Anyone could’ve said that about anything. That wasn’t really what he was looking for. 

However, Yeonjun's eyes did say a thousand words more. Words which he wondered if he’d ever get to hear, words which Beomgyu wanted to know all about. 

_You can be honest with me, Yeonjun. I want to know all about you, so tell me, and I’ll be the happiest person alive._

“No, really. How do you feel?” 

Did Yeonjun want to get deep into things? Or did he just want to state what was very obvious to him, what was so obviously written out in big letters for him to see. He’s sure the rest of the world could see it too.

He’s so happy. Just so, so happy. 

Yeonjun wishes this would never end, wishes the sunset would continue on until dawn. 

Wishes _his_ sunset would still be with him after 60 days, and more and more to come. 

But just how long would it be until Beomgyu too left him? 

Probably three days. That was how much time he had left, after all. 

Could Yeonjun make these remaining three days feel like forever? 

He’d grasp it, hold onto it ever so gently, and never dare to let it go. 

Even then, would it still seep away from in between his fingers? 

He’ll only know when he tries, when his time is up. 

“These days I keep getting reminded of an unforgettable time where I want to erase the most.” 

Yeonjun tries to avert the subject, but still not going off too far away. It’s still something he feels to be true at this very moment. 

If he wanted Beomgyu to open up to him more, Yeonjun should take the lead to show that he trusts him, and that it’s okay to be vulnerable with him. 

He would try to be vulnerable with Beomgyu as well. 

And Yeonjun feels very bare at this moment. Has never been this aware of the breeze, never this aware of the sound of the waves, never this aware of Beomgyu’s gaze on him. 

Beomgyu isn’t quiet sure what Yeonjun meant by that, but he won’t voice out his confusion. So he just hums in response, and continues to walk, eyes looking down at his own footsteps now engraved on the sand. 

But Yeonjun knew Beomgyu had more questions, so with a deep breath he adds, “In Daegu I have my most vivid memories. I learnt a lot during my stay there when I was young.” 

Oh? Beomgyu didn’t know Yeonjun used to live in Daegu. 

He realizes he doesn’t know much about Yeonjun at all, only finding out little bits of information here and there. But other than that, he sure is a mystery. 

A mystery in which he’d want to learn everything about, and he’d spend his whole life learning about if he had the time, if he is given the time. 

If Yeonjun allows him to. 

“It was a very long time ago, but I still can’t seem to be able to let go of it, like a constant burden shackled to me everywhere I go. It was the best, but also the worst part of my life. It’s stupid, really.”

It was rather awkward talking about this to someone that wasn’t himself, or Soobin who he has learnt to be comfortable with, but it’s a start. 

Beomgyu didn’t find it stupid. It clearly wasn’t. Having something affect you isn’t stupid, it’s human. You can’t always be strong, even superheroes have weaknesses. That doesn’t stop you from growing, and it shouldn’t stop you from trying to be your best self. 

And he thinks Yeonjun should hear that. 

“You feelings aren’t stupid, silly. It’s good to be in touch with your emotions, and it’s okay to feel whatever you like.” 

That oddly sounded like something that Beomgyu would like to hear himself, something that reassured him. 

It appears to be that was exactly what Yeonjun needed to know, because right now he has stopped walking, standing still in his tracks, and looking at Beomgyu in a way which he did not know how to describe.

But it looked a lot like a ‘thank you’. 

And a smile slowly makes way to Yeonjun lips, pushing up his cheeks, and leading all the way to his eyes. He had such a soft look in his eyes, and Beomgyu has never seen a look with so much affection. 

That was all he needed to know. 

And Yeonjun sure did want Beomgyu to know, and especially know how pretty he is to him at this moment. 

Beomgyu seemed almost unreal, like a fragment of his imagination. The sky complimented all of his features beautifully, his eyes sparking as much as the ocean. 

Perhaps this was all a dream, and a dream to Yeonjun it was. He didn’t know he had spent all his life dreaming of finding someone just so right, but he might as well have been. 

If it was a dream, Yeonjun sure didn’t want to wake up. 

Yeonjun sits on the sand, facing his body to where the sea is, and takes his time to admire everything fully. 

He counts the birds flying by, counts the waves as each one crashing into another. He takes his precious time to count all his heart beats, and that every one of them is for the boy now plopped down next to him. 

Beomgyu; a name he has become so fond of, and the sunset. 

Yeonjun thinks he’s never seen two things more fitting, but with Beomgyu under the pink sky like this, he is so sure. 

“You know, I love looking at the sky,”. Yeonjun says while not even looking at the sky at all, because all of his attention was placed on the younger. “But I’d miss a hundred sunsets just to look into your eyes.” 

Teasing Beomgyu was always so fun. 

But this time, maybe Yeonjun had meant that a little bit more than usual. 

Fuck it, he meant every single word, as cheesy as it sounded. 

He sure wouldn’t mind getting lost in Beomgyu’s eyes. 

“Dude, what the fuck. I am so touched, my heart almost fluttered.” Beomgyu says as he places both hands on his chest, imitating the action of his own heart thumping. 

Beomgyu was supposed to mean that jokingly, but he found out that his feelings were very real, and nothing about this was fake at all. He said his heart almost fluttered, but in fact it was doing summersaults. The Yeonjun effect was doing the most on him today. 

And something was up with Yeonjun as well. 

If Beomgyu deluded himself into thinking enough, he could come up with a suspicion that Yeonjun was feeling the same way he did. 

It would be very useful if you could tell if someone’s heart was racing for you just by looking, but you’d have to let them tell you for you to ever know. 

Or you could just, you know, go feel it yourself. 

He really couldn’t tell if Yeonjun was serious or not, but Beomgyu had learned not to take life so seriously. So even though he wanted to believe that like hell, he wouldn’t take it to heart. 

However his heart already took it. 

“You would think I’m kidding, but what if I told you I wasn’t?” 

_Yeonjun, stop playing with my feelings. I can only act for so long before my actual emotions take over. Until then, please be a little kinder to my fragile heart, if feels like it’s going to explode._

“What do you mean?” 

“Oh my god, you’re so dumb. Am I not being super obvious already? Do you want me to spell it out for you, Beomgyu?” Yeonjun gets up from where he was sitting and dusts the sand off him, now standing in front of the other. 

Beomgyu looks up at Yeonjun, who was now pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. Beomgyu doesn’t get it. 

“Oh you’re serious— well if we had a stick or something I could write it out on the sand for you.” Yeonjun adds when he sees the genuine confusion in Beomgyu’s face, head tilting to the side and eyebrows furrowing. His thinking face was truly one of Yeonjun’s favorites. 

And Yeonjun realized he’d like to continue seeing that face for now. 

He crouched down in front of Beomgyu, so they were now eye-level with each other. He smiles fondly, and then taps the latter’s nose gently, making him scrunch up his nose. 

“Actually, you keep thinking about it. Where’s the fun if I tell you everything, hm?“ 

And that makes Beomgyu huff, now turning his head away from Yeonjun to avert his gaze to something else, although nothing was really worth looking at as Yeonjun. 

“You must think you’re so mysterious, I call bullshit. I already know everything.” Beomgyu scoffs, folding his arms over his chest. 

He says this, but Beomgyu still doesn’t know anything. Of course he knows what He wants to believe, but that certainly can’t be true. It was his mind playing evil games with him again, he wasn’t going to take the bait. 

“Hey, Gyu?” So much for trying to ignore Yeonjun for three seconds, because after the nickname was called he instantly turned his head back, looking at Yeonjun again. He sure was easy to provoke. 

That too, was one of the effects Yeonjun had on him. Yeonjun made everything so easy for him. 

“Yeah?” 

“Do you think falling for someone is easy?” 

Much too easy, far too easy if it’s Yeonjun. Yeonjun made everything easier after all. 

“I think it’s effortless if it’s meant to be.” 

_Was it meant to be? Would the stars align for love?_

“In the case,” Yeonjun trials off, now putting Beomgyu’s hand in his, as he draws little circles on it with his thumb, 

“Say, Beomgyu, have you ever wanted to experience what it’s like to kiss someone?” 

_Shit shit shit._

That caused Beomgyu’s cheeks to instantly burn up, feeling hot all over. His mind was all over the place, making him unable to think straight. He tried to open his mouth to try and come up with something to say, anything, but he is unable to. 

Very unable too, especially when Yeonjun is very obviously staring at his lips like that. This was serious, and Beomgyu had to figure out what he wanted fast. 

Of course he knew the answer, his heart has already answered this before his brain ever since the day it rained when he skipped school. 

He has been thinking about doing things couples do with Yeonjun a whole lot. 

But now that he was suddenly offered the chance, he really didn’t know how to answer that question properly without sounding like he had been imagining this more than once. 

He realized that Yeonjun might not have meant the question by implying them to kiss, but Beomgyu could take the embarrassment for this one day. 

What could go wrong, anyway?

The plan was originally to make Beomgyu feel and experience things he’s never felt, and technically he’s never kissed anyone before, so this could be a form of learning.

He’d like to learn this very much. 

Yeonjun probably noticed that he’s been silent for way too long, and although it was too very obvious that Beomgyu was staring at his lips, no answer meant no. 

He crossed a line, didn’t he? Were things now awkward between them? Yeonjun was sure that Beomgyu must’ve felt a little something for him, maybe he shouldn’t have let his own feelings get the best of him. So he just nods and lets go of his hand, a quiet ‘sorry’ leaving his lips. 

“Wait!” Beomgyu gulped, his voice sounded shaky, and his hands were already sweaty which Yeonjun learned from Beomgyu reaching out to hold his hand once more, interlocking them. 

“Mm?” 

Beomgyu looks down at his lap, hands fidgeting with Yeonjun’s fingers, “I h-have.” 

Oh God, Beomgyu is insanely adorable. 

“Have what?” With each passing second, Beomgyu just kept blushing a deeper shade of red. He was definitely going to turn into a tomato by the time the sun set. 

And with each passing second, it was frustrating Beomgyu even more. He was going insane, his mind would simply stop functioning all together if this went on for long enough. Phrasing things out loud made him feel extremely small, and Yeonjun could definitely see that. 

_Annoying fucking Yeonjun. Just kiss me already._

“Fuck, if you’re gonna kiss—“ 

Beomgyu felt a quick peck on his cheek, the small trace of Yeonjun’s lips ever so faint, barely there. 

But Beomgyu felt his whole world spin at this moment, his whole heart lit afire, burning on his cheek and in his chest. The blooming spread to his entire body, feeling so light, like he was floating on a cloud. 

Beomgyu looked incredibly flustered in front of Yeonjun, and to him it was such an endearing sight, his round eyes even bigger and face more flushed than it could ever be. 

Beomgyu still hasn’t blinked, hand going over to graze the area on his cheek that he other’s lips had just been on. It all happened so fast, and Beomgyu wished he’d capture the moment in his head on time. 

He might not have remembered the picture, but he’d remember this feeling for a lifetime. 

Beomgyu wants more. 

He’s never felt like this for anyone before. 

_Choi Yeonjun, you are incredible. What you do to me is indescribable, but oh how I want to keep feeling this way with you until my lasts._

_I’ve been living for 19 years, but I’ve never felt this alive before, all thanks to you._

_You make me want to keep living, but it’s meaningless without you._

_So stay by my side, and teach me how to love properly. Tell me what you want, and I’ll give it all to you._

_I’ll give myself and my heart, if it’s enough._

_I want to learn to love you, that’s what I want the most._

_And it would be my pleasure, if you’d let me._

_Let me fall for you, Choi Yeonjun. I’ll take care of your heart like no other._

Yeonjun just looked at Beomgyu, who’s cheeks were bright red and staring at him right in the eyes, before flickering down to his lips. 

Before anything could leave Yeonjun’s mouth, it’s replaced with Beomgyu’s hands cupping the side of his face and lips pressing onto his, connecting them in a way that made them the closest they had ever been.

The action caught Yeonjun off guard, he definitely wasn’t expecting Beomgyu to be the one to take charge first, but he sure wasn’t complaining. 

He had no room to complain, when Beomgyu was so close to him like this, chests so close to touching. So before Beomgyu could pull away, he kissed back, lips dancing in a way that made a swarm of butterflies storm into the pit of his stomach. Yeonjun’s hand snakes to Beomgyu’s waist, as he held onto it as if the latter would melt away if he didn’t. 

The kiss was slow and soft, indicating no rush whatsoever, like they had all the time in the world and not three days. 

If there were three days left, then so be it. The memories he will have made with Beomgyu would last an eternity anyway. 

Remembering everything too well had its perks, so it seems. 

And Yeonjun would remember how he loved Beomgyu at this moment, and until forever more. 

_Stay._

As their moment of forever came to an end, Beomgyu is looking at Yeonjun with a million stars in his eyes, and Yeonjun could read through every one of them. 

“You said you’d miss a hundred sunsets to look at me, but aren’t I also your sunset, strawberry man?” 

“Two in one then, how convenient for me.” 

Beomgyu scoffs at hearing that, but he’s moving in closer again, with such a look in his eyes that Yeonjun would like to keep there always. 

Now as Yeonjun lifts up Beomgyu’s chin gently, as he caresses his side with his other hand, he’s leaning in with the same look in the smaller’s eyes, 

“And in that case, my sunset, let me enjoy every single one from now on with you.” 

Maybe Beomgyu should have kept avoiding Yeonjun.

Especially now that he realized that his feelings for him might’ve been more genuine than he would’ve liked. Maybe he needed to tone it down and continue to keep a safe distance away from Yeonjun; where it would still be warm enough, but didn’t burn as much as what he was feeling right now. 

Intimacy wasn’t a part of their relationship after all, and Beomgyu falling deeply could end very badly. 

It’s called falling because it’s supposed to hurt, _right?_

Beomgyu didn’t want it to hurt. 

But if falling felt this good, felt this right. Then does he have anything to really be afraid of? 

He doesn’t, not with soft pink hair laced between his fingers, and Yeonjun’s hand placed on his waist. 

He’s not afraid of anything.

—

It’s the first time that Beomgyu has ever stepped foot in Yeonjun’s place. The sudden invitation caught him off guard, but he wasn’t going to complain, especially when he had nothing to complain about. He was more than happy for Yeonjun to allow him into his safe place. 

He’s glad Yeonjun trusts him, and trust is the start of all things beautiful. He’d try to earn all the trust he could get, if it meant that Yeonjun would be fully comfortable with him.

Even though he doesn’t quite see the purpose of being here, seeing as his own room was only floors away, he still wouldn’t question it or turn down this opportunity. 

This was like Yeonjun’s own way of inviting Beomgyu into his own life, and just the thought alone made his heart skip; just like how he was now happily skipping into the older’s home as well. 

Yeonjun’s place looked far different from his. The lights were dimmer, a warm yellow hue. There were little trinkets here and there, but it didn’t look messy at all, each and every piece probably holding a meaning to the guy. 

It looked much more like a home, different from Beomgyu’s so-called living space which was just filled with piled up boxes from moving in which he hasn’t yet cleared, and little to no furniture aside from the few necessities. 

Beomgyu wasn’t attached to his own place at all, so he found Yeonjun’s home much more interesting. 

Or this was maybe because he found everything about Yeonjun interesting at this point. The taller could tell him about his boring day at work and Beomgyu would still think it’s the coolest thing ever.

Is this what people mean when they say love blinds you? Because Beomgyu is starting to think that’s the case. 

But even if he was blind, he was still reminded by his very wet and soaked clothes that some things could be more ideal. 

Although he wouldn’t mind redoing their last events, which made him end up in said soaked clothes. Playing tag in the sea was Beomgyu’s idea after all. 

“Your turn! Come on, catch me!” Yeonjun says between panting breaths, swimming away further into the water. 

Beomgyu was way too exhausted to catch up, already having swam an impressive distance just to run away from Yeonjun on their first round, “No fucking way! Just stay still oh my god—“ 

“If you tag me in thirty seconds you’ll get another kiss.” 

“Literally fuck you! Abusing your power like that, have fun swimming! Hope a fish bites your ass.” 

He says that as if he’s not already trying to reach Yeonjun at full speed, completely forgetting his complaints about being tired earlier. 

He knew that was a trap, a trap he fell for all too easily, making Beomgyu use up his tiny remaining bit of energy. He was now making his way to the other at full speed, and Beomgyu thinks he should considering taking up professional swimming as to how fast he’s going. 

Or maybe he shouldn’t, as 30 seconds ended with a blink of an eye, and Beomgyu was left there defeated and panting. He didn’t get that kiss, as annoying as it was. 

And now they had to head home in completely drenched clothes. Neither of them seemed to think this idea through. 

He didn’t mind it that much. It would just be better if he could get changed into something more comfortable, dry and didn’t smell like sea water. 

Much unlike the other car rides the two have shared, this one was not quite whatsoever. 

Today Beomgyu learnt that Yeonjun liked listening to music and singing, judging from the older belting high notes while still focusing on the road. A multi tasker he was. 

Yeonjun’s voice echoed in the car and in his eardrums, and Beomgyu wondered what it would sound like if he got Yeonjun to sing a song he wrote. 

A song which he’d write for Yeonjun. Beomgyu wondered how he would react upon hearing it for the first time. 

Beomgyu had to work on that more, if he did want to know the answer to that, if he wanted to see Yeonjun’s reaction to his form of affection. He’d have to perfect it, there would have to be no rooms left for mistakes. 

Love is so easy to feel, yet it’s so hard to put into words, to describe. Beomgyu was going to have trouble with this one. 

But for Yeonjun, everything is worth the effort. 

“Uh, here. You can wear this.” Yeonjun says rather quietly as he hands Beomgyu his clothes so he could change into, voice sounding almost shy as he averts his gaze. 

Beomgyu nods and takes it. Totally not like he could just head 4 floors up and get his own stuff. 

But Yeonjun’s big hoodie sure did look comfy. 

“Oh, and do you wanna shower first or can I?” 

So being at Yeonjun’s place meant getting to wear his clothes, and shower here. Cool. 

Fuck. He needed to keep his cool. 

“I don’t mind. You go ahead.” Beomgyu shrugs, trying to sound as casual as possible. 

“Right. Okay. Be right back?” 

Well this feels painfully awkward. 

“The bathroom is connected to my bedroom so you can, uh, just wait inside here. Make yourself comfortable.” 

After Yeonjun disappeared behind the door, Beomgyu let out a giant exhale, finally able to breathe without Yeonjun’s presence fogging his mind. 

But as soon as he was reminded by the sound of the water turning on that Yeonjun was in the shower, his brain short circuited even more.

Maybe he should’ve showered first. 

If you had told Beomgyu two months ago when he was still in Daegu that he would be here, stuck in this position, he would never believe you and call you a liar, or a weirdo. 

But here he was, squealing and kicking around in Yeonjun’s bed like a high school girl thinking about their crush. 

Except he isn’t a high school girl, just a very flustered Beomgyu. And his situation is more severe. Not only is he thinking about his crush, he’s also in his crush’s room, on his bed. 

Beomgyu was done for, honestly. He was content with dying at this very moment, and he would’ve said he had lived a good life. 

Since Beomgyu had nothing better to do with his time, and surely just lying on the bed would just be a waste of time, he decided to give himself a little tour of Yeonjun’s bedroom. 

He wasn’t going to snoop around and dig deep, because that would just be an invasion of his privacy. It’s just that you can really learn a lot about someone from what they keep closest to them. 

In this case, nothing out of the unordinary. His pillow, a lamp, a few books on a shelf and a camera. Nothing strange. Yeonjun was the normal average young adult. 

The thing that caught his attention the most however, was the thing right next to the corner of the bed. It wasn’t even hidden under it, just lazily placed there, unlike the other things which looked like Yeonjun had kept them safe. 

It looked like a picture of a place, a stream under the sky if he was able to make out correctly. Not that he had much to go off by since the frame and glass was completely smashed, and the picture crumpled. 

It didn’t catch his attention because it was ruined, but because the place looked oddly familiar. It jogged something in his brain, but he really couldn’t put his finger on it. 

He also found it strange how the picture was very obviously placed on the floor, shattered fragments scattered around, but Yeonjun didn’t seem to notice it. It also looked like it had been there for weeks, if not months, judging by the dust collecting on it. 

Yeonjun probably dropped it and forgot about it. 

Or maybe he left it laying down there as a reminder of something for whatever reason. 

Beomgyu supposes everyone has at least visited a stream to play once in their life. He was probably recalling a memory he lost from childhood. 

If he had lost it, had forgotten about it, that means it probably wasn’t that important to begin with. 

The bathroom door opened, and there was Yeonjun standing with a basic shirt and pajama pants, hair wet and slick back with a towel around his neck. 

_Fuck._

The domestic-ness of it all made his head spin, feeling suffocated once again. He suddenly coughed, like he choked on air, and Yeonjun just looked at him confusedly, cocking his head to the side. 

With a very flushed face, Beomgyu clears his throat and pushes Yeonjun aside so he can get through, then he immediately locks the door of the bathroom. 

He was getting a little too addicted to all this

—

Beomgyu creaks the door open and peers his head out. Despite it being dark, he can make out with the lamp on that Yeonjun is on his bed, back leaning against the headboard as he signals for Beomgyu to come join him by tapping on the area next to him. 

Beomgyu wouldn’t turn that down, he obviously wouldn’t. His mind was only suffocated with thoughts of Yeonjun only anyway. He had no choice but to comply, might as well cave into his temptation.

And so Beomgyu gingerly crawls onto the bed, making it dip from the sudden weight. This is definitely not meant for two people to lie on, but if it gave him all the more reason to be this close to Yeonjun, then he wouldn’t complain. 

He was now so close to Yeonjun, limbs tangling in a way that should’ve been uncomfortable, but Beomgyu found it so nice like this. He was now sandwiched between Yeonjun’s arm and his chest, not daring to move. 

Beomgyu was incredibly comfortable, the position making him able to feel the older’s soft breath and hear his heartbeat. He swears he could’ve just dozed off to dreamland, if it weren’t for his own heart rapidly thumping against his ribcage, making it impossible to do so. 

And he thinks his heart is going to keep doing that for as long as Yeonjun is still there with him. 

There wasn’t a word exchanged between them yet, but the silence had never felt this loud, has never answered all of his questions more than it did now. 

_Would this be enough?_

Definitely not. That was answered when Yeonjun was staring right into his eyes, looking at him like he was his everything. 

He sure did what to be Yeonjun’s everything. 

It was also answered when Yeonjun brought up Beomgyu’s hand, holding it ever so delicately and with so much care. He brings it closer to lips, planting soft wet kisses onto every one of his pale knuckles. 

That makes Beomgyu’s heart soar, pounding like it never has before. The gentle touch and act of it all made his chest swell and bloom, and Beomgyu thinks he could reach and touch the clouds. He could have a heart attack at this point. 

And Yeonjun finds Beomgyu absolutely adorable, the little giggles he’d let out in between every kiss made his heart smile. He wanted to keep Beomgyu like this, and so he allows himself to take more of what he’s craving and plants a kiss on the crown of his head, making Beomgyu squeal. 

Why was everything about Beomgyu so endearing? Yeonjun wanted to continue seeing these sides of him, as it made him incredibly happy to see the positive effects of his actions on someone he cared so much about. 

Yeonjun wanted Beomgyu here always. Between his arms like this, under his touch. 

He trails down and lands a kiss on the smaller’s forehead, his nose, and on his cheek, all earning ideal reactions from Beomgyu, making his heart sprint. 

His main priority would now only be kissing Beomgyu all over, where he thought looked the most pretty. 

And everything about Beomgyu was so beautiful.

He then locks eyes with Beomgyu’s lips, lips which he had missed the taste of all too much, despite it only being a few hours ago when he first got to feel them on his own. 

Just the thought alone, god was that addictive. Beomgyu’s lips tasted like strawberries to him, and just once would never be enough. 

He leans in and kisses the side of Beomgyu’s mouth, grazing oh so close where Beomgyu wanted Yeonjun’s plush lips to be the most. The touch lingered there for a while, making his world spin in all the right ways. 

“I like you.” Beomgyu lets the words that was only able to be heard in the dark slip past his lips before he could even register anything, catching himself off guard as well. It didn’t even sound like him, but he doesn’t need to think much of it when he thinks he meant every word. 

Beomgyu was never one to label his feelings, but he’d be in touch with them. So when he found the right word that just fit so well, he just thinks that he needs to let the cause of all his feelings know. 

And then there it was, a pair lips bare on his, a sensation which he had missed all too much already. It was painfully slow and deep, full of passion and unsaid words which Yeonjun hoped Beomgyu could feel it all, read it off of him. He pulled the younger in closer, bodies fully pressing and legs between each other’s. 

Beomgyu felt it all, and he took it all, kissing him back as a confirmation. 

A kiss that meant the following: 

I like you. 

I can make you happy. 

I will be here for you.

I’m not going anywhere. 

_Stay._

He meant it all. 

Beomgyu broke away first just so he could gasp for air, only to dive back in just as deep to learn more about Yeonjun. 

He learnt pretty fast, considering it was just a few hours ago that he had his first kiss. But like everything, Yeonjun made it so easy, so natural to him like breathing. 

And like breathing, Beomgyu needed it. He could never get enough. 

When they finally separate after minutes, Beomgyu is left so incredibly happy. Yeonjun was looking at him with the most adoration, and Beomgyu thinks he could just melt right there in his arms. 

“Have I made it obvious enough for you yet? I like you too, stupid.” 

Beomgyu was smiling like an idiot, as he layed back down on Yeonjun’s chest. He closed his eyes, the older’s heartbeat against his ears lulling him to sleep as his hands played with his brown locks. 

And Beomgyu says ever so silently, a secret whispered to just himself, 

_“I think I love you.”_

The words that left his lips sounded strange to his ears, felt foreign on his tongue, but he was oh so sure.

If this is what love is, then he isn’t scared. 

He’d invite it with open arms, and an open heart,

and he’d capture this moment forever, cherish it for a lifetime. 

Beomgyu finally understands why thousands of artists wrote about this delicate, yet complex feeling. 

It feels so right, so natural. 

He could write a thousand songs about this.

And suddenly all love songs would be about Yeonjun. 

Beomgyu is sure he didn’t want any of this to end. He wouldn’t like three days to be the stop to this all, he wouldn’t allow it, and he’s sure Yeonjun didn’t want it either. 

Technically Beomgyu got both things he wanted. He got Yeonjun to fall for him, and he managed to make the most out of 60 days by learning and feeling all sorts of things to help him get inspired to write. 

So as Yeonjun is drifting off to sleep, Beomgyu quietly wiggles himself out of the older’s hold, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen on the bedside table next to him.

He writes down his thoughts, and everything he is feeling, trying to stay in touch with his emotions in the most raw way possible, in hopes of turning these words into lovely melodies and songs. 

Songs which he’d write about Yeonjun, the person who taught him the one feeling he has never experienced before: 

_Love._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally! they kissed!1!1!!1 giggles tell me ur thoughts <3
> 
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/st4rjunie)


	9. take my heart and run away (stay.)

“Mister!” The small voice coming from behind one of the trees catches Yeonjun’s attention, causing him to follow the sound. 

So much for being early for dinner. He’d definitely never hear the end of his mom’s scolding, as she did warn him to arrive before the sun sets so that his food wouldn’t get cold. 

Well, he wasn’t going to be hungry anyway. Yeonjun had already stopped by a little local shop nearby to buy some snacks so he could have something to munch on his way home from school. 

Today’s treat was a box of strawberry flavored pocky, in which he had never tried before. He put one in his mouth, snapping it with his teeth, and realized maybe he didn’t like strawberry flavored things so much. 

With a huff, he just continues following the sound, leading him to a body of water behind the multiple branches and bushes.

Yeonjun didn’t know there was such a place like this in this area, and he wished he had seen it sooner. The water was clear in a way that you could see all the rocks and stones at the bottom. It was flowing down, leading to somewhere he did not know, but he sure would find out later some day when he’s bored. 

And right on the opposite side of it, was a boy which he certainly recognized; 

Little Beomgyu, and his strange habit of calling him ‘mister’. 

“Oh, hey.” Yeonjun says just loud enough for the other to hear, and it makes Beomgyu excitedly wave his hands and suggests that the older come and join him. 

Yeonjun had know idea what Beomgyu was doing, but he supposes he was already going to be late anyway. Might as well make the most of it and have a little fun.

When he managed to step along the stones that acted perfectly as a bridge for him to cross over, he plopped himself on the soft grass next to the younger who was now lying down completely, face up towards the orange sky.

“I think this is magic. My wish came true again! You should try.” Beomgyu says as he hands Yeonjun a few pebbles, voice sounding incredibly enthusiastic. 

Yeonjun hesitantly takes them, scratching his head in confusion, “Wish? What wish?” 

“If I tell you then it won’t come true, duh.” 

“But you said it already came true?” 

“Oh. In that case, I just wanted to see you again. And you’re here!” 

Yeonjun find it nice that someone looked forward to seeing him. He didn’t have many friends here, since at first he wasn’t supposed to stay in Daegu for long. His parents just came here for a business trip, and brought Yeonjun along with them. A sudden change of plans, and what started out as a month long stay turned into Yeonjun might having to live here for a couple years more. 

And it was rather lonely here. Yeonjun only had very few friends from school, no one he was particularly attached to. 

So of course, Beomgyu looking forward to the next time they met did feel very nice. Very shocking at that too. He didn’t think the younger would remember. 

Yeonjun remembered everything about that day, though. He’s very glad that Beomgyu now looks a lot better, all giggly and happy and not with tears running down his face. 

A smile suited Beomgyu a lot more. 

“How are you today, mister? What’d you do today?” Beomgyu suddenly asks while not really paying attention to Yeonjun, fingers tugging at the grass and pulling out some. 

No one has ever asked him that. How was he today?

“I’m good. I just came back from school and I have a lot of homework, but I’m okay I guess.” 

“And how do you feel about that?” 

“Well yeah, I’m good. But things could be better. Why are you asking me this?” The older turns his head to Beomgyu, looking at him with question eyes. Is this how normal interactions worked here in Daegu? 

“I ask this to everyone, like my parents do to me and my brother. And that’s what the rocks are for! Throw them and make a wish to make your day better or something!” 

Yeonjun supposes this is what Beomgyu meant by ‘magic’. Apparently this is some kind of supernatural water that is able to get rid of all your problems. 

He doesn’t have anything to lose, so he brings the pebbles to his chest and squeezes his eyes shut as he makes a wish. He tosses it into the stream, and watches as it sinks right down to the bottom where all the other stones were. 

After that Yeonjun went to lie down on the grass as well, staring up at the moving clouds and darkening sky, reminding him that he should head home as much as he wanted to stay out. 

“It was nice seeing you, but I think I need to go home. I’ll be dead if I don’t.” Yeonjun gets up from the grass and bids Beomgyu goodbye, handing something over to him. “You can have this. Hope you like strawberry.” Yeonjun gives the younger a box of the pocky he bought, in which Beomgyu thanks and takes. 

And then Yeonjun was gone, running off to his home. 

Beomgyu puts one stick of the treat into his mouth, and a few more immediately follow after. 

It was a late Monday, and strawberry had become his favorite flavor. 

Ever since that day, it seemed like there was an unsaid promise made between the two. 

The promise being to meet each other at the same stream everyday after school at the same time during sunset. 

It worked out perfectly the first week or two, they were kids with little to no responsibility, so nothing really got in the way. If they had homework, they’d just work on it alone, but together. They’d take turn bringing snacks and such and just talk about their day, or games that had been interesting them lately. 

“Why do you keep bringing that? I gave it to you the first time because I don’t like that flavor!” Yeonjun playfully groans at the sight of Beomgyu’s hand’s full of strawberry pocky, a sight which he had seen far too much in the past week. 

“If you have a problem with it just bring your own snacks next time! I bring what I like.” Beomgyu sticks his tongue out and shoves a piece into Yeonjun’s mouth. 

They got along well, and pretty fast at that. Their little promise stayed for as long as they’d both keep it going, which would have lasted much longer if it weren’t for that one day. 

That one day that Beomgyu suddenly stopped showing up. 

The first few days Beomgyu had stopped coming, Yeonjun gave his friend the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps a relative was coming over to his place, or perhaps he was just too tired and sleepy. Yeonjun thought it simply slipped his mind. 

But then after that, if starting to get boring. He’d bring snacks when it was his turn of the week to the stream, only to end up eating double the amount he had intended to because the other wasn’t there to join him. 

It concerned Yeonjun at first. Of course it did. His best friend at the time suddenly disappeared, making him unable to locate him anywhere. He was worried to say the least. He just hoped Beomgyu was okay and safe. 

However Yeonjun still kept coming back. Day by day, week by week, it was Yeonjun alone with a hopeful heart that maybe one day Beomgyu would reappear under the setting sky with a bright smile on his face and whatever pink treat in his hand. 

He’d eat whatever Beomgyu would bring this time without being picky, without complaining. If Beomgyu came back to the stream, to him. 

It was a month later, and still no sight of Beomgyu. 

Two months, and not a sound heard from him. 

Yeonjun stopped counting the days, and still not a single trace of Beomgyu. 

And soon that worry, was replaced with nothing but resent towards the boy. 

There was a price you had to pay for getting too attached to someone, Yeonjun learnt that at a young age. 

He also learnt what it felt like to be the most alone at this age as well. To have your voice unheard was painful and burdensome. 

No matter how much he tried to find an explanation, some things just happen to simply unroll following events, don’t they? Nothing made sense now, but sooner or later it would. 

And Yeonjun realized it all. 

People don’t need a reason to run away, they need a reason to stay. 

And maybe Yeonjun wasn’t enough of a reason for Beomgyu to stay. 

But that’s okay, he can manage. Yeonjun will move on, and forget this part of his life ever happened. 

Easier said than done. 

Much easier said than done. 

Beomgyu had left his life without a closure, without a trace. 

Except for a silk pink handkerchief, which Beomgyu had lended to him one evening that he hadn’t gotten the chance to return yet. 

He’ll hold onto it, in case he ever gets the chance to give it back. But for now, he’ll keep it closest and safest to him. 

Yeonjun is not so sure now if he wants to see Beomgyu again ever. 

He’s not sure he’s ready, not after all the trauma he had caused. 

And Beomgyu would have that place in his heart, buried away in the deepest darkest corners, but he’ll always feel it. 

He didn’t want to feel it, though. He wanted to burn it away and lock memories with the boy away forever.

  


* * *

  


Beomgyu’s place is unusually quiet when Kai opens the door with the spare keys that the older had given to him. It was the break of dawn, sunlight now just starting to peek in from behind the curtains. At this very early time of day, Kai could only presume that it was because Beomgyu was still in deep sleep. So like he normally does, he lets himself in, closing the door behind him with his foot. 

Kai was not used to this silence, however. Normally even while sleeping Beomgyu wouldn’t be completely quiet, mumbling incoherent words or rustling around in his bed. There was never a moment of true silence with Beomgyu. 

“Hyung?” His voice bounced of the white walls of the room and echoed in his ears. When he heard no response, he figured that this was far too strange for an event, so he decided on walking around and checking the rooms for a certain male.

Very odd. Beomgyu wasn’t here. But where else could he be? Had he left even before he got here, or had he not returned home since last night? 

Kai was about to panic and try to search for Beomgyu like he would normally do in this given situation, except he reminded himself of why he was here in the first place. 

He was here to say a proper goodbye, and put his feelings towards him on hold. 

Well, more like he would try. He’d try to erase every bit of it. 

He wasn’t going to separate from his friend forever, of course. Kai just thinks that it would be better, more healthy for himself his way. He needed to respect himself, and he needed time to heal. Being with Beomgyu would just make it harder for him, as even just trying not to think about him was difficult already. 

Beomgyu suffocated him, and yet at the same time he‘s still the one able to make him breathe. Every breath of his was for Beomgyu, after all. 

And when everything gets too unbearable, Kai thinks he needs time alone. Just a long break from the world and the weight that came with being Beomgyu’s best friend. 

The weight of falling for your best friend, that is. The burden was heavy on his shoulders, tight in his chest, and forever growing as long as he didn’t put a stop onto it. 

It wasn’t Beomgyu’s fault, it definitely wasn’t. Kai wouldn’t blame any of this on Beomgyu. He’s the one at fault for falling, and giving out his heart when he wasn’t even asked to. It was foolish to be so wishful that his feelings would be returned. 

But he can’t blame his heart either. It only longs for what it craves. He can’t when he has never felt this genuine about anything before. Kai is just sad that he can’t give his heart what it wants. 

_We’ll do better next time, alright? Let’s only love people who will love us the same way from now on. Let’s know our worth, since we’re all worthy of the right kind of love._

Kai’s initial plan was to just slowly distant himself away from Beomgyu, but he figured that wouldn’t be the best idea. Beomgyu would catch on eventually, and Kai wouldn’t have the courage to explain it to him then. That wouldn’t be fair to Beomgyu, and so he was going to be brave now and just suck it up and tell Beomgyu. 

No, he most definitely wasn’t going to tell Beomgyu that he liked him. That would end him up with nothing but a soar heart and hot tears. He was just going to simply tell Beomgyu that he needed to stop being around him for a while. He wasn’t going to get deep into detail, because the more he added the more he’d accidentally reveal, leaving himself vulnerable. He’ll just tell Beomgyu he needed to work hard on his project or that he was sick or something. 

But Beomgyu isn’t here, so that ruins all his plans. Kai honestly does not know what to do. 

Not wanting to hang along with himself and his thoughts for too long, he contemplates whether he should just leave or not. Should he just wait for when he sees Beomgyu at college? Although that wouldn’t be ideal, since whatever comes out of his mouth then might just be a bunch of nonsense. 

Since he was already here, Kai settles on just leaving him a little message on paper. He had a lot to say, but if he’s writing it down he might have to shorten it down due to being too lazy to write his heart out. That would prevent him from getting carried away with his feelings as well. 

He had a lot to say, none of which would come out in the form of words of ink nicely, so he’ll just stick to a short paragraph. 

So he searches for something to write on, preferably a sticky note he can stick to somewhere Beomgyu would without a doubt see. He knows Beomgyu wouldn’t mind him going through a few of his stuff if it was for good intention, so he checks the shelves and drawers. 

He eventually finds it, ripping away a page of the note paper. But that’s not the only thing he found. He stumbles across something that jogged his memory, taking him back to a long time ago. He certainly wasn’t expecting to see this. 

Beomgyu’s little pink silk handkerchief, nearly folded and placed away into one of the corners of his drawers. 

He hasn’t seen this in a long time. 

Kai remembers how Beomgyu always had it with him, always kept it safely in his pocket. Beomgyu would feel safe with it, always using it to wipe away his tears and such. It was a thing dear to his heart. It was meaningful to Beomgyu, and Kai knew that.

How long has it been? Perhaps 10 years since he last saw it? He’s pretty sure Beomgyu lost it. 

Now that he thinks about it, it is very strange that it’s suddenly appeared now after being nowhere to be found for so long. 

At first Kai thought that Beomgyu bought a new one that looked identical to it to replace the handkerchief, but that seemed unlikely as the older had probably already forgotten all about the piece of fabric anyway. 

Or maybe he just found it, but that seemed out of the blue and impossible. No way he would’ve just found it now after about 10 years, not when Beomgyu hasn’t been looking.

With no other idea in mind, he tentatively dials Beomgyu’s number, wanting to get an answer. He didn’t know what else to do, and just coming up with ideas and theories wouldn’t take him anywhere. 

With a sigh, he crumples the paper in his hand and throws it in a nearby bin. He’ll come up with an official end to his feelings another day. There was something else he had to prioritize at this moment. 

And when the person on the other line finally picks up, he’s met with the sound of Beomgyu’s voice sounding like he just woke up. 

There was so much on Kai’s mind. So much he wanted to ask Beomgyu. Where was he? How was he doing? How are things with Yeonjun? But he’ll ask about that later. Right now he allows himself to ask what he’s most curious about that won’t hurt him. 

“Kai-yah, where have you been? Why have you been ignoring me?” 

_I wish I knew the answer to that myself, hyung. I’m a mess._

Ignoring the abrupt storming of questions directed at him, Kai changes the subject to why he had called in the first place. 

“So you found it?” 

“Huh? Found what?” 

Surely Beomgyu could give him answers. 

“Wait right there. I’ll be on my way.”

  


* * *

  


“Gyu-yah, you don’t have an umbrella. Will you be okay? I can walk home with you.” His friend’s voice sounded concerned, lips pouting disapprovingly at the sight of Beomgyu’s clothes getting wetter by the second. 

“Um,”. Beomgyu pauses for a moment as he looks up at the grey clouds, gentle droplets of rain tickling his face. He winced at the contact, not liking the coldness of it. 

Just then his friend walks up to him and hands him his umbrella, placing it in Beomgyu’s hand and wrapping his own hands over it. “Take it, my house is closer to here than yours. And I’m older, so I can run faster. I’ll be home before the rain can even catch me.” 

Beomgyu just nods, holding the umbrella above his head as he watches Yeonjun put on his backpack and gets ready to head back home. 

“Wait! You have this then.” Beomgyu scurries over to Yeonjun and fiddles something out of his pocket and hands it over to him. “Maybe this can protect you from the rain. Put it over your head like this and run.” He puts a handkerchief over the older’s head and watches as he reacts confusedly, but nonetheless smiles in return. 

Yeonjun flashes a big thumbs up, and places it steadily above his head. “Got it. I’ll give it back tomorrow.” He says as he skips on the path of rocks leading him to the opposite side. He waves one last time, “See you tomorrow!” 

Beomgyu waves back and watches as Yeonjun disappears out the bushes, leaving him alone at the flowing stream. 

Despite it raining and the sky looking darker by the second, he didn’t want to go home yet. So he’ll sit and play here for a while. 

He wondered what was at the end of the stream. Would there be a reward waiting for him? Or would there be a door to another dimension? His curiosity got the best of him, so he walks along the edge, careful not to fall into the water. 

While he was so focused on not slipping, he hadn’t realized his grip on the umbrella had loosened. And due to the heavy wind blowing, it caused him to accidentally let go of it, making it drop into the stream. 

“No! Get back here!” He shouts as if the umbrella would just walk back up to him, but Beomgyu knew that wouldn’t be the case. He should’ve just left it there, left it to flow down and down until it reached the end. 

He would have done that, if it weren’t for the fact that this is Yeonjun’s umbrella, and he didn’t want to lose his friend’s things. 

So he followed it. Even though it led him further away from home, his mind was set on fishing that umbrella out of the water. Beomgyu paid no mind to the rain pouring down anymore, he just needed to grab it. 

And it was so close, yet somehow out of reach. If only the water stayed still for just a second, then he might have been able to get it out. But he knew how it worked, you can’t stop time.

Just then it looked like the umbrella had gotten caught to something, and Beomgyu squealed out of happiness and relief. _Finally._ All he needed was just to lean in and grab it and all his hard work would pay off. He’d go home after this, and tell Yeonjun all about the adventure he had been through just to save his umbrella the next day. 

It was harder than it looked, though. His arms were definitely shorter than what he initially thought, so he’d have to get a bit closer to the ground and the edge. 

Closer. _Just a bit more._

Before he knew it, he felt his body suddenly lose balance, toppling himself forward. He didn’t even get to make out the situation in time, last thing he realized was his head hitting hard against a rock, the sudden pain shooting through his body and his skull causing him to yell. The sudden pain numbed everything else, along with his ability to move. 

His mind became clouded, and the last thing he felt was cold rain against his skin, warm red pooling and oozing under his body, and an umbrella in his hand. 

Then everything was black. 

—

The blinding lights caused his eyes to open, and next thing he knew was he was in a white room. 

Beomgyu’s body felt extremely sore, and he didn’t understand why. He looked down at his body and just moving his neck hurt, but he was able to make out a few things. 

He was on a bed. There were tubes and straw like things around and on his body, and some plastic thing over his nose and mouth that made breathing feel weird. 

_Yeah he doesn’t remember anything. How’d he get here again?_

That was when he suddenly saw his mom get up from a couch next to him. When she locked eyes with him they instantly shot up and widened, making her let out a loud gasp, before running out and calling for a nurse. 

Beomgyu doesn’t know what’s happening or where he is, but something was definitely off. Why is everyone being so loud? Why did his mom run away and not come up to him? Why did his head hurt? 

It all hit him overwhelmingly in one second, and Beomgyu suddenly felt dizzy again. The heavy weight of it all made his eyes want to shut and doze off back to wherever he was before waking up to all this. 

But he needed answers. He was scared. Not knowing anything was terrifying, so he forced himself to stay up for a little longer. 

When a bunch of nurses and doctors ran in, this was when Beomgyu realized he might not have been in the best condition. 

So it seemed like he was in a hospital. His mom was crying, his brother was called over, and his brain felt like being ripped apart. 

His head was spinning, but he would be able to make out a few of the things being said if he focused on it hard enough. 

“He woke up? When?”

“Just now, sir. He was even moving his body.” 

“What date is it today?” 

“July 14th. It’s been five months since the accident. This is the first time he’s opened his eyes.” 

“We’ll get him checked on right away.” 

Due to the formidableness of it all, he felt his mind closing up on his again, as his conscience slowly left his body. He could feel people’s eyes on him, but he didn’t have the strength in him to question it or mind. He was just tired. 

“Choi Beomgyu, can you hear me? Move your thumb if you can hear me.” An unfamiliar lady ordered him, as she was pushing his bed away out the room. 

He felt his thumb move on his own, but everything other than that was a blur. And soon he was drifting off again. 

A few hours after that, Beomgyu learns that he had an accident, hit his head, and now he can’t remember most things. 

This was how his mom briefly explained everything to him so it wouldn’t overwhelm him, but it still did. This was shocking information to him, and Beomgyu was surprised he didn’t know about this. 

Well, he didn’t know because he was in a coma for five months, but it still felt unfair that he wasn’t informed. 

He still remembers things he’s known all his life like his parents, where he lives, and luckily Kai too. But that’s pretty much it. Everything out of the usual and one time events were forgotten, and Beomgyu just felt like that was such a waste. 

A waste of time and memories he had been collecting for so long, only to have them all drained away because of one day. He doesn’t even know how that one day happened and what he was doing, but he wouldn’t forgive himself for it. 

However he knows he can’t go back in time, can’t relive any of that again. So all Beomgyu can do at this moment is just live to the fullest, and feel everything. Engrave every little feeling into his chest, and hold onto it for as long as he can. 

He wouldn’t let go of things so easily now. 

He feels bad for all the things he doesn’t remember, and all the people that he has forgotten. 

Hopefully none of them were too attached to him to care. 

  


* * *

  


Waking up from a nightmare was never pleasant.

Yeonjun always hated the idea of being haunted by your own thoughts even through sleep. It felt unfair. The only time in which your mind would be at ease was instead filled with images that weren’t even relevant in the real world. 

Or maybe they were, because Yeonjun realized when he woke up that a boy named Beomgyu had also disappeared here, too. The guy was right in between his arms last night, and Yeonjun didn’t even know when he slipped out of his hold. 

Yeonjun knew the name was familiar the first time he saw it on brown-haired’s credit card, he wouldn’t forget such a detail so easily. But of course in this big city of Seoul there’s going to be more than one person with the same name. That’s normal, that happens. 

However he didn’t like how this Beomgyu was also nowhere to be seen at this moment. Just where was he? Had he left already? It was still really early, morning sunlight beaming out from the curtains. Did he have somewhere to be?

Or did he regret staying with Yeonjun even if it was just one night? Was he _that_ repulsed with the idea of being with him? 

Yeonjun hopes not. Hopes that this Beomgyu will be different, hopes that this Beomgyu won’t hurt him. 

It was hard, if he’s being honest. Beomgyu did remind him a lot of his friend from childhood in a way. They both had large round eyes, and a friendly smile. To top it all they both had similar likings towards things, like running or snacking on treats he didn’t really like. 

And oh how Beomgyu felt _familiar._ Like he has somehow known him before all this.

It was hard trying not to compare the two, but Yeonjun would be able to do so eventually. When he leaves the past behind him and spends the rest of his future with Beomgyu who he has chosen, he can only wish that Beomgyu would be kind to him, unlike that kid. 

It took a lot for Yeonjun not to panic when he saw the empty space on his bed beside him, which was once filled with Beomgyu’s warmth and soft scent. The space was too noticeable now that he had gotten used to Beomgyu’s presence. His hands were shaking and eyes unsteady, inner demons trying to get the best of him. 

But he’ll fight them. He trusts Beomgyu. Trusts that he wouldn’t hurt him like that, especially not after last night. Beomgyu would come back, hopefully right back into his arms. 

They still had 2 days left anyway.

They had 2 days left, but Yeonjun wasn’t scared. 

He knows there will be more to come, and many more after that. Beomgyu would stay by his side. 

Forever felt possible with Beomgyu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :O 
> 
> tell me ur thoughts <3
> 
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/st4rjunie)
> 
> :D


	10. if fate were real,

“Hi. You came back.” 

Yeonjun says upon hearing the sound of his door open and closed, and there beholds Beomgyu standing there with sleepy eyes. Why did he leave so early? He clearly looked like he had missed more than a couple hours of sleep. Yeonjun had certainly slept well last night. What had Beomgyu been up to? 

The smell of morning eggs welcomes Beomgyu, causing him to feel a bit more alive after leaving to go talk about some matters with Kai. He really wasn’t a morning person, and having semi-deep conversations like this made him want to dive back into Yeonjun’s soft bed and warm embrace. 

Apparently Yeonjun had made breakfast for the both of them, and that makes Beomgyu’s heart swell. Everything about this was so heartwarming, and he didn’t take Yeonjun to be the sweet thoughtful type. 

The table is packed with a bunch of little dishes which Beomgyu was very familiar with. Egg rolls, bowls of rice and dry seaweed on the side came into view and Beomgyu already felt full despite having an empty stomach. He liked all these things and he had them a lot growing up. It reminds him that he hasn’t been eating the most well these days ever since he moved out, since he can’t really cook if you don’t count ramen. 

Yeonjun surprised him again today, and it takes everything within Beomgyu not to cave into his temptations and kiss him again. 

Not after waking up, no. So he just settles on wrapping his arms around the older’s waist and rests his chin on his shoulder. 

“Thank you.” Beomgyu’s voice is low and hushed, but it resonates in the pit of Yeonjun’s heart. “Just how much is there to learn about you? You amaze me everyday.” 

“I’m not special, Gyu. Just thought this would be cute.“ 

Beomgyu reaches out to play with Yeonjun’s pink hair, “And it is very cute. You are very cute indeed.” 

“You’re right, I am so cute. This is so romantic.” 

“That’s it. Goodbye I’m leaving right now—“ 

“Noooo!” Yeonjun whines as he holds onto Beomgyu’s arm to make him stay still. He wraps his limbs around the smaller, engulfing him into a big hug. “You know you don’t want to go. You still have food waiting for you.” 

Beomgyu sighs in exaggeration, “Fine, you have a point. But only because you made this all especially for me as a declaration of love.” He escapes Yeonjun’s hold and sits himself down at the table where the food is. 

Yeonjun is standing at the same place, leaning on the kitchen counter with one of his arms as he looks at Beomgyu with adoration. “You’re absolutely right. This is a form of a love confession.” Yeonjun says and Beomgyu chokes on his food, immediately coughing it out. 

“Just shut up and come sit down here. Allowing you to speak should be a crime.” 

“Whatever you say.” 

They both eat in silence, but Beomgyu feels content. The silence has never been more enjoyable, with all that he wanted to say out in the air already. He didn’t need to hide anything anymore. He could love without holding back, and have the assurance of being loved in return. 

Beomgyu wondered what he had done to deserve this. Was it fate that made them meet? Or perhaps this was all because Beomgyu’s dumb idea of them being tied to a deal which eventually worked out perfectly for him. 

If not leaving Yeonjun meant losing his own pride due to failing his mission he made himself, then Beomgyu would happily lose. He’d lose and give up everything to see Yeonjun happy. 

And Yeonjun looked very happy right now, smiling in between bites while eyes coming up to meet Beomgyu’s briefly, only to smile back even wider. Yeonjun didn’t even bother to hide it. 

Here’s another habit of Yeonjun’s that Beomgyu learnt today: he liked giving people food and feeding them. While Beomgyu was chewing and finishing his last bite, Yeonjun would give him more food on his plate and place it on his rice. He would sometimes just feed it to him, chopsticks lining in front of his mouth, in which he willingly took it. Yeonjun would smile with his eyes, and just the soft gesture of it all made Beomgyu’s heart patter. 

Beomgyu does not know if he can get through this meal without kissing Yeonjun. 

There was something else on his mind, however. Thoughts other than feeling Yeonjun’s lips. It was something he had been thinking about while he was in the elevator on his way to here from his place. His mind was occupied with what Kai said. 

“You sure you didn’t give it to him? You’ve always had a terrible memory despite the accident, I wouldn’t be surprised.” 

“Ouch? What did I ever do to you, Kai Kamal?” 

“I’m just sure it’s yours. I know this as a fact. I’ve seen it enough times to know. Do you really not remember this? It was like, your brand.” 

Beomgyu was silent, trying to pick up a memory at the back of his head. 

“I’ll just give it back to him and see what he says. Thanks Kai.” Beomgyu goes in to give the taller a hug, and he could feel Kai slightly stiffen from the contact. Nonetheless he hugs back. Beomgyu always thought Kai gave the best hugs and no one would take his spot. 

It really did confuse Beomgyu. So was it his or Yeonjun’s? And if it were his, how did Yeonjun have it? Have they crossed paths before? Beomgyu didn’t think so, however he doesn’t get to be the one to decide. He can’t recall anything, anyway. 

Was it his fault that he can’t remember? Because it felt an awful lot like it was. Did he deserve it? Beomgyu is a ashamed that he can’t remember, especially if he had forgotten someone like Yeonjun in the past. 

He’d have to bring this up sooner or later, and seeing as Yeonjun was now done with his food, he supposes this would be a good time. 

“Oh yeah, I forgot to give this back to you.” Beomgyu slides him the handkerchief he kept in his pocket across the table, observing Yeonjun’s reaction. 

“Oh,” Yeonjun had actually forgotten all about it. Apparently being with Beomgyu erased most of the bad thoughts at the back of his head, so he hadn’t even noticed it was missing. 

He erased most of them. There were still some he has been trying to suppress. 

But how did it get to Beomgyu? How did he have it? 

“Thanks. How do you have this, though? I don’t think I would’ve given this to anyone.” 

“You didn’t. You dropped it on the first night we met and I just so kindly picked it up for me. Sorry I’m just giving it back now, I completely forgot.” 

There was something in Yeonjun’s eyes that Beomgyu could not read. 

Seeing as Yeonjun was quiet, he added on a bit more to get rid of the dead air. 

“So it’s yours? It’s pretty. Where’d you get it?” 

Yeonjun hesitated, taking a bit longer than usual to reply. Beomgyu hoped this wasn’t too much. It was a simply question after all. Beomgyu just wanted to know more. He needed to confirm his suspicion and doubt. 

“A friend from long ago gave it to me.” 

It was thick, the atmosphere suddenly suffocating, and Beomgyu didn’t know if it was because of just Yeonjun’s presence or the weight of this topic. 

Yeonjun didn’t want to be talking about this, he didn’t even want to be reminded of this again. He desperately tried to leave it behind him, but the past just keeps finding it’s way into his present life. 

Yeonjun does not want to see that friend, not when he has spent his whole life resenting the boy. Not when he has never lived a day in his life the same since then. 

Would the boy from back then know just how much he has caused? 

He really did not want to see him, not when his life now feels the most perfect than it has ever been. 

It’s only perfect because the secrets and lies are hidden, right? It’ll break through soon, crumbling the persona of his life that he has created. 

Only a matter of time, and time was ticking fast. 

“I think that might be mine.” Beomgyu confessed, breaking the silence once again. Hearing that makes Yeonjun’s eyes shoot up and freeze, dropping his chopsticks to the ground causing the sound to echo throughout the room. 

He hopes he heard that wrong, but judging by the look on Beomgyu’s face he wasn’t joking around. He did look concerned, quickly rushing to pick up what Yeonjun just dropped. 

“I don’t think so, Beomgyu.” The name rolled off his tongue feeling like sharp thorns, a pierce through his heart. It choked him, his chest feeling tighter by the second and it was much harder to breathe. It was hard to stay unbothered. 

The name reminded him too much of that boy, and he really tried to not connect the pieces together. It’s impossible. This is a different Beomgyu. This Beomgyu would not leave him to be alone, waiting, longing. This Beomgyu would stay by his side, he said it himself. 

This had to be a different Beomgyu. He wouldn’t know what to do if it wasn’t. He wouldn’t know how to continue. 

Yeonjun tried to focus on the person in front of him, round eyes full of concern and questions which Yeonjun mentally thanked that he didn’t ask right now. Even in this moment of panic and anxiousness, Yeonjun still tried to find a reason to stay calm and relaxed. Beomgyu’s chocolate eyes he had become so fond of, his long eyelashes, his soft voice, his pretty laugh. 

Then he realized all these things seemed way too familiar. 

And then an image flashed through his mind, causing him to jolt up from his chair. An image he had tried to bury away for so long, thoughts and doubt he had been trying to overcome. That split second was enough to answer everything. 

Things were going so well, _it just had to be you._

The sudden thought of being abandoned by someone close and dear came back to him, and it terrified him. 

It all started with a rainy sunset, and a one sided promise. 

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, this is most definitely the same Beomgyu. 

It just had to be him. 

“It is you.” It wasn’t a question. It was a realization. 

And it was only a matter of time before Beomgyu left him again as well. He should’ve known, should’ve pieced all the signs together, by instead he chose to be clueless and oblivious. He chose to ignore everything, if it meant he would get to be happy with Beomgyu. 

He was foolish to think so. He was foolish to think this would last. If Beomgyu has left him once, then he had all the reason to leave him again. Yeonjun was never a good friend, was he? And even now, he can’t even be considered a good lover. 

The past had caught up with him too soon. He hasn’t prepared himself yet. 

It had already reached his door, and this time Yeonjun had no choice but to run away from it. He didn’t want to be the one to get left first and he should’ve never allowed it in the first place. It caused him way too much to handle, it was unbearable. He’s been trying for so long to piece up his broken walls with his own hands, and he didn’t want his hard work to go to waste and vanish before his eyes. 

Yeonjun was a coward who tried so hard to be brave. But at this moment, everything was bare, his persona ripped apart. He was just a lost child, running home from the rain with a handkerchief on his head like 11 years ago. 

Except he’s learnt more now. He’ll be able to protect himself from hurting further. 

Yeonjun runs a hand over his face as he inhales a deep breath in. Why now? Everything was going so smooth, and he really thought he was going to be only happy from now on. He had finally let someone in, only to realize that person was the same person who caused his walls to be closed off in the first place. 

Beomgyu was the start of it all, and oh how Yeonjun wished he could put an end to it all beautifully with Beomgyu as well. 

But it would never be beautiful with Beomgyu here. It was too painful, a constant reminder of Yeonjun never being enough. No one would commit to him, and so he was not meant for commitment either. 

Not even with Beomgyu, he supposes. 

It all hit him so abruptly. One moment he would be daydreaming about thoughts with the other and ways to make him smile, and now what he wanted to do the most was to get as far away as possible. 

Well, he didn’t want to. More like he needed to. 

Yeonjun gets up from the table to get some space, in which Beomgyu immediately gets up after, tugging at the sleeve of his shirt with pleading eyes. 

_I’m so sorry._

Yeonjun has to be the one to leave Beomgyu first this time. 

It was not thought through and incredibly selfish, but Yeonjun thinks he should be allowed to be after all he has endured. That would make him able to breathe freely again. It was all too much.

Beomgyu was searching Yeonjun’s eyes for anything that could indicate him on what was going on because honestly Beomgyu did not know either. If all happened so fast, and before he knew it Yeonjun was about to walk out of his own door. This had to be a prank. This wouldn’t be the end, would it? 

Yeonjun knew that if he had to elaborate more it would completely destroy him, and in this scenario he needed to be strong for himself. He needed to do what was best for him, and as much as he didn’t want to admit it, he knew what he had to do. 

He had so many questions. Of course he did. None of this made sense to Yeonjun. But the answer would be 11 years too late, anyway. The damage had already been done, and it looked like a lost cause. Yeonjun doesn’t know how long it’ll take before he can finally live his life without being constantly reminded that he was unlovable. 

What he knew for sure is he needed to get away before the inevitable ending of Beomgyu leaving him first. 

“Wait Yeonjun! Where are you going?” Beomgyu’s voice follows after him as he walks closer to the door. He didn’t dare to look back at Beomgyu and meet his eyes. He wasn’t strong enough for that. 

“Sorry, Beomgyu. I really am sorry.” 

He meant it, he was sorry for everything. Sorry for the way he is, and sorry for what he’s about to do now. Beomgyu might not ever forgive him for this. 

But Yeonjun doesn’t know what else to do. 

“No no no this can’t be happening. Tell me this is a dream— no, a nightmare. Please wake me up.” Beomgyu pinches his own arm in hopes of triggering something within him, but nonetheless nothing changes. This was all very real, and Yeonjun was going to slip away out of his reach. 

_He still had time left with Yeonjun, right?_ This can’t be it. 

“Let’s keep it short, yeah? Besides, it’s almost been 2 months.” 

Every part of this was painful for Yeonjun to say and took him a whole lot of self control not to choke on his own words. 

“No Yeonjun, please just—“ Beomgyu’s words are hushed due to the contact of Yeonjun’s hand on his. The older picked up his hand ever so delicately and brought it to his lips, as he placed a kiss onto the smooth skin. 

From what Beomgyu had learned, normally that would send jolts across his body, warmth blooming in his chest, and he’d feel like he was on top of the world. However now, it oddly feels like everything was about to melt away out of his grasp. 

“It’s been a pleasure getting to know you. I enjoyed every single moment spent up until now, and I mean that. I just really wish it weren’t you.” 

“Yeonjun, let’s just talk, please. I don’t want it to be like this. You can talk to me and we can work things out. But I can’t help you if you’re not honest.” His voice broke near the end, eyes turning glossy and red. 

It pained Yeonjun to look at Beomgyu, especially knowing he was the cause of it. 

_If only I were strong enough to tell you everything, I would. I want to let you in so badly, but it just can’t be you._

_One day when I’m ready to listen and take it all in, I hope you’ll still be here, although it seems unlikely._

_Would you wait for me like I did you? Would it pain you like how I’ve been feeling all these years?_

_I wish this problem could be solved by talking it out with you, too. But I need to fix myself. I need too much reassurance, and I don’t know if you can give that to me. I’m so insecure and fragile, would you hold me with care? Would you eventually leave me like hat day too? Without a word, without a trace?_

_We were young, and I was foolish enough to think everything would be held together by a thin string of promise._

_You would eventually leave me again, wouldn’t you? And I would be the only one left caring too much._

“Thank you for being my friend in Daegu, and my love in Seoul. But it can’t be you, Beomgyu.” 

Yeonjun was holding back a lot of anger, but in truth there was more pain. It hurt so much, but he had to put himself first and protect his heart.

Halfway from completely stepping outside, Yeonjun hesitated for a bit. He wasn’t sure if this was the best decision. 

_Tell me to stay and I will. Hold onto me and I’ll let you. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else._

But there was nothing, just Beomgyu looking at him with tears down his cheeks. He wanted to walk right back in and wipe every last drop of it off from his face, but he knows he can’t. Beomgyu didn’t plead him to stay, and maybe this was the biggest sign. 

So before he could break himself even more he closed the door, and he closed his chapter with Beomgyu as well. Beomgyu wasn’t running after him like he had half-expected, and that’s when Yeonjun realized that he should really stop expecting much. 

_Sorry I couldn’t stay, but would you have stayed for me?_

  


* * *

  


If the past two months had been a roller coaster, then last night would have been the peak of it all, breath hitching overwhelmingly as you reach the top. 

And today would be the drop; where everything was on the line. The end of it all. 

Beomgyu regrets only a few things in his life. He believes what’s done is done, and everything happens for a reason. There is no use crying over changing something you possibly can’t, it was a waste of time. 

There are some things that Beomgyu had learned from past mistakes, and he would like to say he grew from them. However this was one of the very rare moments that Beomgyu did wish he changed one thing. 

He wished he ran after Yeonjun. 

That seemed like the most obvious thing to do, and at that moment Beomgyu’s mind was screaming at him to do just that. Don’t let him go. Tell him to stay. 

But as much as he wanted to, Beomgyu could not move. It was all so fast, and before he knew it Yeonjun had walked out of the door. 

This is Yeonjun’s place. He would come back. He would come back for me. 

This is what Beomgyu had initially thought, and boy was he wrong. 

_Does he hate me?_

It’s even worse because Beomgyu did not know what he did, or what was the sudden turning point. It was all good and fine until the past was brought up. A past that he could not even remember at that. 

It sucked. It really did. After realizing they could have both possibly been childhood friends, Beomgyu was ecstatic. He found it adorable how they could have had a connection before him even moving to Seoul. They found each other again, wasn’t that lovely? If he were Yeonjun, he would’ve been over the moon. 

It was true that he couldn’t remember anything from then, though. He could’ve treated Yeonjun terribly bad back then and he wouldn't even know. Maybe that was why Yeonjun couldn’t stand him now. 

It did feel unfair that he wasn’t even given an explanation. He only based his guesses off of Yeonjun’s body language, and how he looked visibly uncomfortable. The older looked sad, like he was trying not to believe any of this himself. 

Beomgyu wished that they could have continued living like that, masking away all the secrets that could break that. That’s what he wanted most, if it meant being with Yeonjun for even a little bit longer. 

What happens when ‘a little bit longer’ isn’t enough? What happens when Beomgyu becomes needy, craves more? 

Was it foolish to run after it? Run after what he wanted most?

Even if it was, nothing could stop Beomgyu from doing just that. His conscience told him to think logically, but Beomgyu never learned to listen to his head. His heart screamed for him to follow Yeonjun. 

Beomgyu didn’t have a plan. He didn’t have a list of ways to approach him or things he should say. He would let the moment guide him, and hopefully it would land him in somewhere better.

He hoped that somewhere was back in Yeonjun’s arms. He’ll earn it for real this time. 

This was how Beomgyu had found himself in front of the ice cream parlor, panting and gasping for air. He came here without thinking, legs guiding him here naturally. 

Beomgyu would have never thought about coming here. He would’ve just continued sitting in Yeonjun’s living room, waiting for him to come back to him on his own. 

Maybe that would’ve actually worked out for him in the end, seeing as Yeonjun still had all his stuff there, but it seemed lazy. Beomgyu was too desperate to just not do anything. 

He meets eyes with a blue haired man standing just in front of the counter, eyeing him from head to toe with a suspicious look. 

Judging by the name tag, his name was Soobin. Beomgyu is pretty sure he’s heard that name before, but he can’t recall the exact moment. It probably wasn’t important. 

“Excuse me, have you happened to see a tall guy with pink hair? You must know who I’m talking about, he works here too.” Beomgyu rushed out the words a bit too fast, surely the other could see the urgency of this and just how desperate he was. 

After thoroughly observing his appearance, Soobin confirms to himself that this is most definitely the guy Yeonjun told him about. Yeonjun ordered him not to tell this guy anything if he came in asking where Yeonjun was. 

But Soobin will do as he pleases. He’ll be the one to decide what he should do or not. His instincts end up correct most of the time, and he has a hunch that he should really tell this lost looking guy more about it. 

So this was Beomgyu. Yeonjun had told him lots about him. It seemed like Yeonjun was completely smitten with him, and it appears to be the guy standing before him was just as fond of him. Just what has happened with these two? 

Soobin thinks he knows the answer. It must’ve been hard for Yeonjun. He thought about what Yeonjun said to him earlier and pieced things together. Soobin thinks he understands it all. 

However he still needs to hear things from Beomgyu, and what things from his point of view looked like, so he tells him to come in and wait for him while he finds someone to fill in his spot for a bit. 

After listening to an in-depth detail of what happened on Beomgyu's side, Soobin was able to conclude some things. Soobin thinks he can make a full mental visual storyboard of what happened. 

He honestly doesn’t know how he’s suddenly a part of this, or why he is willingly trying to make things out of this lost case. Maybe it’s because deep inside he knew there was hope for the both of them, and that if they overcame this, they’d be unbreakable. 

Beomgyu looked a lot stronger than him, he could definitely get through this. 

It was Yeonjun who he was the most concerned about, but if Beomgyu managed to clear things up then there wouldn’t be a single problem from now on. 

Although it seemed like he wasn’t in the place to do so, he insisted himself on telling Beomgyu about Yeonjun’s past, and what is probably the cause to most of his insecurities. He’s sure Yeonjun has definitely not told Beomgyu about this, because Beomgyu looked like this was the first time this had been brought up. 

And now that Yeonjun was gone, he probably wouldn’t get the chance to either. Yeonjun lets his emotions control him a lot, and this case would be no different. Once he’s overwhelmed by it all it’s not surprising that he would try to push everything back or escape it all. 

This could only be resolved by communication, and Soobin knew Yeonjun enough to know that this is what he would need. He’d save him the burden of telling Beomgyu this himself. 

“Shit. I didn’t know.” Beomgyu curses softly under his breath. How was he supposed to know when Yeonjun didn’t tell him anything? 

Truthfully speaking the older wasn’t obligated to tell him everything, it’s just that serious and deep conversations like this could make them grow. Yeonjun wasn’t that comfortable yet, was he? 

It’s okay. Beomgyu will try to understand, and he means it when he does feel for Yeonjun. He didn’t know he was enduring so much. If he had known, maybe he would’ve been more sensitive with things, maybe he would find a better way to reveal things. 

Was it his fault that he didn’t know? 

Beomgyu knew trauma most of the time is caused from childhood, and that’s the one that sticks to your subconscious the most. No one should have to go through such a thing. 

It might look small and irrelevant to some, but that doesn’t make your feelings any less valid. Some people have triggers, and you just have to be a normal decent person and respect them. 

What he hated the most however, was the fact that he had come to a conclusion that he was the start of all this. Yeonjun has not lived with ease since the day Beomgyu left him. 

He knew it was out of his control, and that he didn’t really choose to just stop seeing Yeonjun like that, but he can’t help but feel incredibly guilty. 

Could he have prevented it? 

Maybe if he was just a little more careful, a little more cautious, he wouldn’t have slipped and hit his head on that sharp rock. 

He’s glad he can’t remember the image of blood oozing. He wouldn’t be able to sleep another day if he could. Perhaps not remembering much was a blessing in a way. 

If someone told him within all good things there was the bad, and if within all blessings there was a curse, Beomgyu would totally believe them. Because his misfortune had come in the form of causing Yeonjun permanent pain that he definitely could not take away. He caused it, and he can’t forgive himself for that. 

Did he have to pay the price of Yeonjun despising him from today onwards? Would separating give him what he deserved? 

Beomgyu hadn’t realized when he had started crying, but the tears weren’t stopping now. Despite him having cried just earlier this morning, it feels like he had been holding his tears since forever. Like a broken dam, they came welling out and it didn’t look like they were going to stop any soon. 

The guilt ate him, buried him whole, and no amount of digging could let him back up to the surface. He was drowning in shame and the inability to change anything. 

God, he was pathetic, he thought to himself. You don’t even deserve to be crying. You’re not the victim. 

Soobin hated seeing this. He hated seeing someone blame themselves for something out of their control. 

Beomgyu looked like a mess, nose red with tears staining his cheeks. His eyes looked soar, and Soobin couldn’t even meet them on his own without feeling absolutely terrible. 

It wasn’t pity. He doesn’t think anyone should feel like this. 

Despite this being the first time they’ve actually talked, it would’ve been inhuman to just look at him and not comfort him. So he hands him a napkin that was on the table, in which Beomgyu thanks him and takes it. 

“Look, it’s really not your fault. You told me you had an accident, and even if you were being reckless it’s not your fault that you couldn’t see Yeonjun again. It’s not like you wanted to erase him from your life, you just couldn’t remember. You didn’t choose this.” 

That was all true. Beomgyu would have never chosen to forget Yeonjun. Not 11 years ago, never now. 

“Neither of you are to blame, and it looks like both of you are affected by this whole thing.” 

That was also true. Soobin honestly could not tell whose situation looked worse. It was unfortunate for both, and he feels for both of them. 

Beomgyu supposes that’s true. None of them came out of this situation unbothered, but he couldn’t help but compare his own to the severity of Yeonjun’s. It looks like Beomgyu had the better end of it. 

Remembering too much would be anyone’s downfall, feeling too much would break you. 

Forgetting everything was perhaps the best outcome 

“I guess you have a point.” Beomgyu speaks out with a shaky voice, still sniffling. “I just think it’s cruel he had to go through this all alone. It sucks when you’re battling your own emotions. It’s hard to overcome.” 

“Yeah. It is really tough. He’s a lot softer than what people perceive him to be, you’ll find that out of you look past the leather jackets he wears.” Soobin tries to lighten up the mood, and Beomgyu appreciates the effort. 

Looks like Soobin knows Yeonjun really well. 

“You must be very close with him to know all that, especially about his past. He seems like he’s super hard to open up to.” 

Beomgyu could see that Yeonjun did try to open up to him, but it just had to all end messily. He was probably a monster in Yeonjun’s eyes now. 

“You could say that.” Soobin sheepishly rubs his neck, avoiding Beomgyu’s gaze by looking at the cup of coffee on the table in front of him. 

Beomgyu wished Yeonjun felt this at peace around him too, enough to be able to share all sorts of things with him. Yeonjun never really got into depth with things around him. 

“With someone like Yeonjun, you have to open up a lot to him first. Be vulnerable and honest with him. He just needs a little care and reassurance like everyone does.” 

Beomgyu was ready to do that if he got the chance to now. He was ready to earn his trust properly, and love him like how he deserves. 

“And Beomgyu?” 

“Yes?” Beomgyu hums. He doesn’t know how this man knows his name, as he’s pretty sure he hasn’t introduced himself to him yet, but he’ll ignore that for now. 

“Yeonjun doesn’t hate you, I’m sure. Take this as your chance to prove to him that you’ll stay with him no matter what. If that’s what you’ll do, that is.” 

And that’s exactly what Beomgyu will do. This is what he wanted more than anything, and he has never been so sure. Yeonjun in his life was a long term necessity, and he wouldn’t switch that out for anything or anyone else. He made him feel alive in a way that made him want to keep living, as long as it was with him. 

As long as it’s Yeonjun, Beomgyu wouldn’t have it any other way. 

After he had gotten the extra nudge that he needed, he was now set on finding Yeonjun. 

Their 60 day arrangement had almost come to an end, or maybe it had already ended a few days too soon, but Beomgyu had a new goal. 

No, he would not leave Yeonjun mercilessly in the end like his initial plan at the start. He wouldn’t be able to do that anymore. 

He would now try to earn Yeonjun back, as long as it would take him. There was no deadline this time, he’d take it slow but steady. He was going to earn his trust, and Yeonjun’s love properly along with it. 

It was definitely a challenge he was up for. 

Except he had absolutely no idea on where Yeonjun was. If not in his apartment, he could literally be anywhere. Any surface on earth that was covered in land there would be a possibility of Yeonjun being there. Beomgyu needed to narrow down his options. 

He sure could use making a wish right now, and his wish would be to bring Yeonjun back to him instead. 

_A wish._

That reminds him of something, a feeling suddenly washing over him. It was brief, but that was enough for Beomgyu to know what to do. 

Beomgyu thinks he knows just where to find Yeonjun. 

He’s been missing Daegu a whole lot, anyway.

He gets up and repeatedly thanks the tall man, bowing and bidding him goodbye as he immediately rushes out the door. He didn’t care if people were looking at him weirdly, that wasn’t important. 

All that was on his mind was going to where Yeonjun should be. 

Letting his heart and instincts guide him, he impulsively books himself a seat on the quickest train going to his home; Daegu. 

Seoul could never be as lovely and inviting as home if there wasn’t Yeonjun. 

He knew that Yeonjun didn’t really want to see him at the moment, but that gave him all the more reason to go and explain things to him. He needed to clear up a whole lot of misunderstandings. Beomgyu never wanted to leave Yeonjun, he never chose to. If he had gotten the chance to relive that day again he’d choose a thousand times over to be with Yeonjun. 

He could go and pay a visit to his parents who he dearly missed later, right now his future with Yeonjun was on the line. He had already wasted too much time and he didn’t have much time to spare. 

Despite this being he fasted it could go, the train was moving far too slow for his liking. His heart was racing, mind fogged with thoughts of all the possible outcomes. 

Yeonjun could be there, allow him, and hopefully they could learn to love with nothing but trust. 

Or Yeonjun could be there, but he might not even want to listen to anything. He might look at him with pure disgust and hatred as he turned away from him once again. 

Hell, Yeonjun might not even be there. This could all be his mind telling him to do dumb things that made absolutely no sense again, and he was too desperate to reason with himself. This could all end very terribly. 

Worst case scenario would be all this being a complete waste of his time. He didn’t know where else to find Yeonjun. 

Beomgyu wondered what he was really doing this for. Was it to free himself from his own guilt so he could be at peace? Was it because he liked the excitement of a challenge? Or was it because he had become more attached to Yeonjun than he would’ve thought? 

It was definitely that. 

So it came to this, huh? He never quite realized the extent of his feelings before, but him being willing to take a 2 hour trip down the country just to find him seemed like he was now completely whipped. 

If it was for Yeonjun, he’d do everything willingly, and it would all be easy to him. 

He was in such a hurry that he had just realized that he should’ve brought more with him. Aside from a backpack, he was empty handed, instead holding onto the weight of his heart. 

He really didn’t prepare for any of this. 

When the train finally came to a stop, he pushed himself through the crowds of people who were all getting off at the same time. He managed to squeeze himself in between bodies, not forgetting to turn around and apologize to the strangers. 

Not turning back once more, he was off. Nothing was going to stop him this time. 

This felt all too familiar to him, he knows this feeling all too well. Daegu had comfort written all over it. He liked how he was able to recognize the dialect people were speaking in, now just noticing how much he had missed it while he was away. He was used to all of it, and he couldn’t be happier that he had spent his childhood here although he couldn’t recall most events. 

Running down to the path that led him to his neighborhood was easy, he’s been doing this for the majority of his life after all. Nothing has changed from what he can remember. It felt the same, and Beomgyu was glad to know that. Life should have certainties once in a while. He’d like there to be something he could always come back to without worrying if it would still be the same or not. 

He hasn’t been to one part in his neighborhood since forever. He can’t even recall the last time, but he’s certain that this was an essential part of his life 11 years ago, before the accident. 

His little wishing well, his safe space where nothing else mattered; the stream. 

He might have not remembered the place visually, but judging by the sudden tightening of his chest he was sure that this place held significant meaning to him. It was engraved deep within him, his body reacted on its own like it had adapted to this road after all those years of running and playing. 

With Yeonjun. All of this with Yeonjun. 

How had he spent so long without him? 

When he reached his destination, a wave of relief washed over him. He made it. After all he’s been through today, he’ll finally be where he wants to be most. He’ll make things right, he wasn’t leaving without Yeonjun’s hand in his like it should be. 

All he needs is Yeonjun to listen, and he’ll gladly tell him all that he can. 

He was expecting Yeonjun to be on the other side of the stream like he would have always been a long time ago. Was this how it has always been? Just the two of them in this little hidden area, and secret and a promise tied between them both?

One step on a stone at a time, he would surely reach Yeonjun. All he had to do was cross over safely, and he’d be able to reach everything once again. He’d count each and every one of his steps. 

One. 

_I’m so glad I’ve gotten to know you. You make me feel complete, like I can touch the sky._

Two. 

_I should’ve never taken the time we shared for granted. Every moment has been so special to me._

Three. 

_If only I had known, if only you had known, would that have been enough? Would that have prevented all this?_

Four.  
_  
I will always stay, just one reach of a hand away. You can tell my everything. You don’t have to be afraid anymore. I’ll always be here._

 _What do you say? Can you trust me just once more?_  
  
Five. 

Yeonjun was not on the other side.

And that broke Beomgyu. It felt like all the air was punched out of him, along with all the little hope he was holding onto. He crumbled to the ground, not minding how the grass was tickling him in an uncomfortable way. 

Misery embodied, that was what Beomgyu felt like he was at this moment. A felt like he was stomped and repeatedly kicked in the ribcage, chest tightening by the second. It was unbearable in all the worst ways, and Beomgyu thinks the world has never been so cruel to him. 

Maybe he deserved it. It was all wishful thinking that he thought Yeonjun would be here. Now that he thinks about it more logically, of course he wouldn’t be. This is where it possibly all went downhill for him. This is the place of his worst nightmare, where he wants to erase the most. 

Beomgyu supposes he didn’t know Yeonjun much at all. If only he had gotten the chance to learn so much more. He wanted to memorize everything about him, from how his sharp eyes would crinkle in the corners every time he showed his smile Beomgyu used to find annoying, to how his hand was slightly bigger than his, the perfect size to loop fingers with. 

It was too late now, and what was left was just fragments of his memories with Yeonjun that he had tried so hard to hold onto. Strange how this all took a turn in just one day, but it feels like Beomgyu has been heartbroken since forever. 

It was a pleasure getting to know you as well, Yeonjun. 

_I wish I had more time, but this was bound to happen, right? I’ve probably been the nightmare haunting you for so long. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m selfish. I’m sorry for wanting more. I’m sorry for wanting you, and it’ll always be just you._

_I can wait for you, until you’re ready. When you decide you want me again, I’ll still be here. It looks like I’m desperate, and oh god I am, but I’ve never been so sure about anything. I’m not easy, but I have chosen you. And it’ll be you 60 days from now on, 60 days after that until forever more._

_If any little part of you still wants me, I’ll find my way to you._

_If it’s meant to be, if the stars had aligned specifically for us, then we will meet again._

_I believe in fate, and for you it makes me want to believe it all more._

_We will find our own ways back together when the time is right. Until then, I’ll wait for you._

Beomgyu picks up a little pebble from the side of the stream and closes his eyes, holding it close to his heart. 

_I’ll give you all the time you need, and I’ll be here silently rooting for you in my mind, in my imagination._

_When the time is right, let me find you, and let me fall in love with you properly all over again._

That was his last wish, and he had never wanted anything more. 

_Thank you Yeonjun, for teaching me all that I never could have learned on my own in less that 60 days. Feelings I can never put into words, but I will try. You’re a good teacher, I’ll put it all to good use._

With Yeonjun nowhere to be seen in the current picture of his life, Beomgyu supposed he has no choice but to focus on his studies and accomplishing his dreams. 

And he has a song to finish writing, hopefully he could let Yeonjun hear it when it’s completed one day. 

He wanted Yeonjun to hear it the most. The song would be for him, after all. 

He’ll bottle up whatever he’s feeling now, and let it all out in the form of ink on paper. 

But for now, he’ll go say hello to his family, and probably stay over a couple days while he’s at it. 

Beomgyu looks down at his hand, and for a split second he swears he could still feel the trace of Yeonjun’s soft lips pressed on his skin. It burned, but it didn’t hurt. 

A quiet promise left his lips, one that he would never dare to break, 

_“No matter what or how long it takes, I’m not going anywhere.“_

He wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost the end :(
> 
> tell me ur thoughts <3
> 
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/st4rjunie)


	11. then it’s you.

“Beomgyu-ssi?” 

It’s the voice of the interviewer that cuts him off from his long chain of thought. Beomgyu must have been spacing out for rather long and that wasn’t professional of him at all. Good thing her voice still sounded friendly and calm. 

Beomgyu wasn’t used to the celebrity life yet, or that was what he called it. It wasn’t really, it’s just that he had enough of a platform to make people care about him now. A crowd of people were gathered below the stage of where the live interview was held, and being surrounded by so many people who were genuinely interested in him was something he never knew he could experience. 

Much like his college professor and people around him, Beomgyu too didn’t think that his music career would do this well. Beomgyu four years ago before all this started would certainly not believe any of this. He guesses finding yourself scouted by a good label did wonders to you, and he could never thank Kai enough for introducing them to him. 

Kai was basically the only person who believed that Beomgyu would make it big one day, always staying up with him until late at night to help him with changing up a few of the lyrics. Ever since their freshman year was over, he found the two of them having more deep conversations that before, talking about what their future’s could look like. 

It turned out pretty well for both of them. Kai was known as an artist and a very high-in-demand lyricist. He’s written a couple successful pieces in just a year. 

As for Beomgyu, he was a bit newer to this than Kai, and interviews were definitely not his thing. 

“Sorry, I got a bit distracted. What was the question again?”

“It’s alright.” The lady smiles at him, “So Beomgyu-ssi, since your debut with the single ‘Let me know’ captured the hearts of many with the simplicity of love in your lyrics, a lot of people have been tuning in for your next comeback.” 

Ah yes, after 6 months of disappearing after he made a name for himself as a solo artist, he was finally back with more to offer the world. 

“I’m very thankful for that. Seeing more and more people connecting to my songs really fills up my heart. I hope this comeback doesn’t disappoint you and I hope you find yourselves all the new songs.” 

At first he was insecure about his music, since he didn’t know where to start and how to get what he wanted to convey across. He was never the best with words, producing was more his thing. However ever since he saw how beautiful it could be to reflect emotion into words like Kai did with his pieces, he knew he wanted to give it a try and do his best. 

Art in this form was truly beautiful, and he found himself enjoying every bit of this path he had chosen for himself. He has never been happier and more content with life. 

“I’m sure they will. I gave them a listen and I can tell you that it will fit a lot of people’s tastes perfectly. I’m sure others will also find this comforting like I did.” 

“Thank you so much! I’m so glad to hear that.” 

Hearing that reassured him. There would always be at least someone that connected to your work, and that was more than enough for Beomgyu. If he could at least just give one person comfort through his songs then he was more than happy. 

The interviewer nods, “As this is your first mini album, your fans have been anticipating to hear and learn about more sides of you and your music, is there anything about preparing this album that you would like to share?” 

If one thing Beomgyu was certain about being an artist, it’s that he wanted to be open. He wanted to be viewed as human and real, so that people could find him relatable. He was the same as everyone gathered to see him here, he was human. 

“To be honest, I didn’t know if I was leaving an impact on a lot of people at all. I wasn’t sure if I was doing enough to be considered an artist, so I was struggling a lot to prove myself. Putting my emotions and thoughts into an about three-minute song just didn’t feel like enough time to get things across, and I was doubting myself a lot with this album.” 

Writing was indeed hard. He still has no idea how other artists and Kai makes it look so easy. 

“But by giving myself some time, I think I managed to do well. It’s important not to expect too much from yourself, and it’s okay not to make everything perfect.” 

It was something that Beomgyu had always known, but he has never really applied it to himself. He found himself pushing too much, only to realize it did nothing good for him. Sometimes you’ve got to do things at your own pace. 

“I completely agree with that. You seem to be very in touch with your emotions, Beomgyu-ssi. Is that how you’re able to write such pretty songs?” The sudden compliment caught Beomgyu off guard, making his ears feel warm. He could never get used to this. 

“Ah, thank you so much. I’m glad you find them pretty.” He shyly bows to the lady, the sound of camera shutters from the crowd below him flustering him even more. He truly could never get used to this, all the compliments and acknowledgements from people who didn’t even know him personally. 

“I’m sure a lot of people here agree with me.” 

Beomgyu hopes she’s right. That’s all he wanted. 

“And let’s have one last question before we wrap this up. Beomgyu-ssi, your first single was relatable to many as it was a story about love that is easy to connect to, but is there anything you would like to say to all your supporters who might be going down a tougher path of love?” 

That was a hard question. Who knew becoming a singer meant also having to have the ability of being a love and relationship counselor? 

“I’m foolish when it comes to love as well, so I don’t think I can say much.” He laughs, not quite knowing how to answer this properly. 

“Love is complicated. There is no simple way to put it, that’s why there are millions of love songs out there and yet none of them capture the exact same feeling as another. It can feel soft to the touch like a feather, or a hot knife cutting deep through skin.“ 

“But that shouldn’t discourage you from trying to seek love. With love, it’s okay to want to find out what you truly want, but you can’t expect something you never gave. There needs to be a fair balance.” 

“To anyone who’s having a difficult time with love, I’ll stand by what I believe. Communication, generosity and honesty is so important. And letting go isn’t a crime if it’s what needs to be done. If you’re both hurting, follow your heart. What’s meant for you will find its way to you in the end.” 

A complex thing it is, love. Beomgyu could spend all his life learning about it. 

For someone who writes love songs, he was surprisingly new to love. He was as clueless as everyone else. It was funny how people just assumed he knew a lot or had been in lots of relationships to grasp the concept of it. 

He could hear claps coming from the woman next to him, followed by many other. He felt like one of those motivational speakers, and instead of feeling shy like he did before he felt pride bloom in his chest. He’ll take it for this one moment. He has never said so much just for answering one question.

“Thank you so much for being here, Beomgyu-ssi. And everyone, please support his first album and his lead single ‘By my side’ out now! It was great having you!” 

After the short interview, they wrapped it up and Beomgyu bowed to the staff and the people watching him. It felt easier each time he had an interview, stammering less and taking less time to answer questions. Maybe he could get used to all this after all. 

He had a lot in front of him and so much to look forward to in his bright future ahead. Things were looking good for him. Never in his life would he have thought that he’d get so many people to be listening to him. 

However the one thing he hoped most was for the one person he wrote all these songs for to be listening to him. 

Did he still think of him? Did he still remember? 

Because Beomgyu did. He would never forget about anything so dear to him. Nothing was more memorable than his time 4 years ago that was spent with his first love. 

He gets to fully call it love now, although he never got the chance to love properly at the time. He found his love growing over the years despite not knowing where the other was, that’s how he realized the depth of his feelings. 

It’s been a long and eventful 4 years. A lot has happened since then, but Beomgyu still feels his heart the same. 

Beomgyu hopes he’s happy, wherever he is. That’s what was most important.

“Beomgyu-ssi? You’re schedule is done for today, would you like to head back?” His manager calls informs him. Despite it being a question, the man was already gathering Beomgyu’s things and guiding him to his car. 

“Why still ‘Beomgyu-ssi’? I thought we had a close relationship, why the formalities? Is this just business to you?” Beomgyu tries his best to sound offended, although he breaks into a fit of laughter at the end. “And yes. Let’s go.” 

“WOOO!” Beomgyu yells as he’s skipping his way to the parked car, finally able to let out all of his pent up energy. Doing interviews all day was sure tiring. It felt like a chore, but it would be beneficial to his career so he took them. 

Quickly hopping into the car before he was mobbed by people and cameras, he was finally free. No more stress of the day on his shoulders and he could finally relax. 

It was now 4 p.m., not quite late yet, and he had plans with Kai. He was very excited about meeting and catching up with him, as it has been a busy month for both of them. They both had packed schedules, and finding a time where they were both free was almost impossible up until now. 

All his excitement was thrown out the window when he sees a text from Kai saying he can’t make it anymore. 

Well that sucked. Now what else was he going to do with his free time? It still wasn’t that late yet. 

However he finds himself smiling at his phone when he sees that Kai had sent him a selfie of himself with Taehyun, who probably went to visit him during work. 

Kang Taehyun was evil for stealing away his best friend like that. Kai was choosing his boyfriend over him a bit too easily these days. Couples are so annoying. 

The two looked incredibly happy, so he couldn’t even find it within him to be mad at either one of them. 

Good for them. They really did deserve this. Taehyun has been pining since he first saw him, and Kai was just oblivious at first, but it seemed like he had slowly caught on. 

It’s been a steady two years for them, and Beomgyu couldn’t be happier. Seeing Kai able to shower his love to someone and having them give back just as much was a lovely sight, as single as it made him feel over time. 

It made Beomgyu happy because a smiley Kai was all that he wanted to see after seeing the worst he has ever been. There was a time where it felt like Kai just disappeared out of his life, and the absence was very noticed. Every time he did see him however, he just looked so sad, like the life was sucked out of him. That was not the bubbly Kai he had known. 

That went on for a pretty long time too, but he’s glad he can witness Kai at his best now, and the guy truly had never looked better. 

Taehyun was treating Beomgyu’s best friend right, as he should be. After this he’ll still have to have a word with him so that he won’t snatch away his time with Kai like this again, though. 

Now not having anything to do, Beomgyu gets an idea and tells his driver the destination of where he would like to pay a quick visit to. 

—

It’s weird now that Beomgyu looks back at it. Four years ago he would have never called Seoul home, but here he was, making himself as comfortable as ever. He had learnt to except Seoul as it is, as he learnt to love it at the same time. 

That took him a while. Home sickness was always evident in him, but he eventually settles that he can have two homes. 

And here he is, back at the place where he would now call his first home in Seoul. 

Everything about this area was familiar, like he had never even left in the first place. The trees were still planted, shops still opened, and his apartment complex was still there, exactly how he left it. 

Nothing about this was foreign, and Beomgyu liked how everything was right where it should be. 

Beomgyu feels like he is where he should be now as well. The timing was perfect and the sky was a beautiful shade of pink, inviting him to stay out and just stare up at it. 

The sky is always there wherever you go, isn’t it? Always looking over and following you. The sky sees everything, even things you want to conceal. Everything is a secret between you and the sky. 

Would the sky know how Beomgyu was feeling now? Because right now he was thinking about just how fast time flies. It was one blink of a second and his college life had already ended, now officially moving onto the responsibilities of being an adult. 

Beomgyu has grown a lot these past years. In the sense that nothing surprised him much anymore, nothing was unbearable or overwhelming. He was handling things pretty fine and his life was under control for the most part. 

He doesn’t regret choosing this career path at all. So many people could only dare to dream about being in his position, and he was lucky and privileged for the opportunity to reach him. Beomgyu was living his dream. 

The pieces of his life were finally fitting in place, and today again another chapter of his 20s was completed. 

Another one of many chapters without Yeonjun. 

You would think that after all this time Beomgyu would have moved on or given up already, but you’d be wrong. Beomgyu promised himself that he’d let his heart stay like this, occupied by Yeonjun until he no longer physically could. Even if he hadn’t made a promise, Beomgyu still could not see him falling for any other person. 

It was Yeonjun yesterday, and today again. Like how it was Yeonjun 4 years ago and until forever. 

Forever was scary. Did anything last forever? It only makes sense that everything would sooner or later come to an end, an eternal everlasting thing just seemed impossible. 

But oh how Beomgyu wanted to believe it was possible for Yeonjun. You could wrap Yeonjun in all the lies in the world and Beomgyu would believe you because it’s Yeonjun. Anything felt possible when it was about Yeonjun. 

And this was another day that Beomgyu could not get the male off his mind. 

He remembers everything about Yeonjun so vividly, fresh in his memory. Beomgyu thinks he could be going insane at this point because surely no one should be able to think about one person for this long. Was this healthy? Apparently not, because Beomgyu had made everything in his life about Yeonjun. 

At times like this he wondered what he was really waiting for. Was he just waiting for the sake of keeping his promise? 

But looking back up at the sky, the pink hue reminded him once more. The pure color of love painting over him felt welcoming, and that was more than enough to keep him going. 

When the time is right, you’ll come to me. 

All Beomgyu had to do was wait hopefully, and in the meantime he’d write another hundred songs about the man he can’t forget. 

Yeonjun had become his muse before he realized it. 

He did miss the simplicity of his life during his college years. He wondered how his friends were doing, although he didn’t have many. It’s at least good that he still keeps in touch with the one’s that are most important to him. 

He misses waking up each day and wondering what he’d be doing with Yeonjun. As silly as it sounds, even at the start he was looking forward to it. Deep down he knew that he had chosen to bug Yeonjun for a reason, because it was Yeonjun. Beomgyu was always drawn to things unattainable. 

At least he got to have Yeonjun in his arms for one night. That was the one day he would choose to relive a hundred times over if he could. He could still feel the trace of Yeonjun’s hands on his waist and plush lips pressed on his. 

Yeonjun was able to return the love for one night, and one night only, because after that Beomgyu had never seen Yeonjun again. 

Before he knew it, he found himself in front of the familiar convenience store he had visited often when he lived at his apartment here. It still looked the same for the most part, except for the new shelves they had replaced the old ones with. 

Before he knew it, he had stepped inside and bought some snacks for himself, walking out with a plastic bag full of jellies and strawberry milk in the other hand while smiling. 

Before he knew it, that smile had dropped, along with the strawberry milk that was now spilt on the floor and onto the very displeased looking male standing before him. His leather jacket now looked a lot less intimidating. 

“Oh my god I’m so sorry. I can get that jacket cleaned for you! It won’t take long.” Beomgyu bows and immediately apologizes for not being more careful, picking up the box from the floor. 

“How about you get me that shirt you promised?” 

Before he even looked back up, his heart was racing, drumming against his ribcage when he heard the familiar voice he remembered from a few years back. 

_No. This couldn’t be._

But Beomgyu would recognize the sound from anywhere, even from galaxies away. He just needed to make sure if this was all a dream or not because it sure felt like one. 

And a dream it was, because he was now meeting eyes with the person who had dreamed all too much of in the past four years. 

Finally. He found him. 

“It’s been a while, _my sunset._ ” 

Beomgyu felt his throat tighten, eyes beginning to well up with tears he hadn’t known he had been holding. 

“I never thought I’d see you again.” He choked between words, hiccuping while bringing himself to hold onto Yeonjun to make sure this was all real. 

“Let’s be honest, you know you’d find me, and look where we are now?” Yeonjun’s eyes looked so much different from the last time he had seen them. They’re soft and tender, and Beomgyu practically melted and just his gaze alone. 

“You’re right. I knew you’d come to me.” 

It was once again a spring evening in the middle of Seoul, under the strawberry sunset and the world in their hands. 

The world as in each other’s bodies pressed against one another, heartbeats and breaths syncing in a melodic way. 

Although breath shaky, Beomgyu allows the words to slip past his lips, “Let me love you properly this time, Yeonjun. I promise you I’m staying right by your side as long as it’s you.”

“No secrets between us, just you and me against the world.” Yeonjun adds as he presses his forehead onto Beomgyu’s, leaning in ever so close.

“I’d like that a lot.” 

Yeonjun lets out a small breath of laughter, one that makes Beomgyu’s breath hitch. They were so close, and just looking into Yeonjun’s eyes made his heart swell. 

“I guess I am the exception.” 

“Exception? What do you mean?”

“I don’t think you stare at every person you accidentally bump into like this,” Yeonjun references the first thing he said to Beomgyu on the first night they met. Who would’ve known they’d both come this far? 

“You only look at me like this.”

And he’s oh so close, nothing could ever feel quite like this. It was hard to breathe, so thick and palpable in the air but it was all just Yeonjun. He tilts his head slightly, so their noses are now brushing against each other, and Beomgyu’s heart was soaring. 

It’s true, this look was only reserved for admiring every beautiful thing about Yeonjun. 

“I like the song you wrote about me, by the way. Pretty cute of you.” 

And with that Beomgyu turns bright red, body ready to sink away to the floor but Yeonjun holds him up tighter just in time. 

“Shut up and kiss me.” 

“How about you kiss me to shut me up?” 

The offer sure was tempting. 

So Beomgyu caves into his desire and presses his lips onto Yeonjun’s. Although having imagined this for 4 years, there was no rush to it, because they both knew they had all the time in the world. 

And nothing could stop them this time. 

Beomgyu has been running all his life, only now is he finally allowing himself to run into Yeonjun’s arms after waiting for what seemed like an eternity, where it feels the most like home. 

He could get used to this, the soft scent of Yeonjun’s fresh cologne, his hand tangled and laced between pink locks, and the warmth in his content heart. 

It felt more than enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that’s the end!!! since it’s my first fic, this might not have been the best, but i did put my heart and hard work into writing this <3 thank u for reading this far!!!! please let me know ur thoughts so i can improve my writing for future fics! 
> 
> the songs i mentioned in this chapter are real songs i associate with beomjun in this, so please do give them a listen as well ><
> 
> Let Me Know — by Jimmy Brown  
> By My Side — by JUNNY
> 
> thank u sm for reading ^__^  
> — em 
> 
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/st4rjunie)


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